


David

by WanderingAlice



Series: David [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Child Abandonment, Fluff, Implied Child Abuse, Kid Fic, M/M, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-23 17:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 58,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/624596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingAlice/pseuds/WanderingAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Spock met Lieutenant James T. Kirk and his son, David, he did not expect them to become a permanent fixture in his life. He was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> David: A Hebrew name meaning beloved

“I’m sorry sir, we, uh, one of the parents was coming by to pick up his child and saw our problem, and-”

"I see.” Spock cut the woman off mid-sentence. “However, it is logical that I inspect his work so as to be certain he is correcting the appropriate issues. Also, with my aid, I estimate a fifty-two point five seven percent increase in the speed of the repair,” It was logical he stop the woman from speaking, before her gratingly high-pitched voice provoked a show of irritation. His mother would be appalled at his rudeness, but he assumed he could be excused, considering the length of his shift and the types of problems he had been forced to contend with today. Idly, he wondered if the woman appeared distressed because she had called him from the technical support office of Starfleet Academy for a problem that, it would seem, was already being taken care of, or if her expression was naturally similar to that of the Terran creature called a deer, startled by the bright forward lights of an automobile driving in darkness.

The problem, as the emergency repair call had informed him, was a malfunctioning replicator in the child care center on the main campus of Starfleet Academy. Apparently, it had started out the day by providing hot milk in the children’s cereal for breakfast, then progressed through larger errors until it began shooting purple and green sparks and providing anyone who approached it with a thin coating of syrup.

As Spock approached the malfunctioning machine, he became aware of a small child, no doubt one of the many charges of the center, seated on the floor next to… a long pair of legs in regulation black pants. The body they were presumably attached to was likely inserted into the replicator up to the waist, or else Spock estimated a 99.8 percent probability that he would have to alert the authorities. The boy, who appeared to be a human of about four years of age, stared up at him from behind slightly shaggy blond hair. Bright blue eyes narrowed a bit, before he looked away and tugged on the pants of the man next to him.

“Daddy, a scary man’s looking at us.”

“Just a sec, kiddo,” the reply was muffled, as if spoken around an object in the speaker’s mouth. “Let me just connect this one…” a flash of light erupted from the replicator, quickly followed by some rather inventive curses in what was likely Andorian.

“Daddy makes things go boom,” the child informed Spock solemnly, poking his father in the knee. “Uncle Bones’ll be mad if Daddy burnt himself again.”

“I see.” Spock really didn’t, but it was his experience that human children hardly ever made sense. “Perhaps you could tell me your father’s name?”

“I’m David,” David said, “and this is Daddy. Uncle Bones calls him ‘kid’, but that’s not his real name.”

“Might as well be, as much as he uses it,” the owner of the legs told them, sliding out from under the replicator. Spock was unsurprised to notice that his uniform shirt was charred in places, and his hair stood on end and sparked slightly. “But it’s really Jim. Jim Kirk.” He spread his fingers in an approximation of the Vulcan salute, grinning at Spock from the floor. His eyes, Spock noticed, were even more vibrantly blue than his son’s. For a second, he found himself wondering that human eyes could be such a color.

“I guess you’re the tech guy…?” Kirk trailed off, examining the Vulcan.

“I am Spock.”

“Oh, good to meet you, Spock. Do you know much about the circuitry involved in replicators?” When Spock didn’t reply, judging his answer to be self-evident, considering that he was currently on call from the academy’s technical services the man shrugged. “Uh, sorry, dumb question. I’m used to dealing with, well, my students.” His expression made it obvious what he thought of the intelligence of the cadets placed in his charge. “And they aren’t exactly the best with the actual how-to stuff. Don’t get me wrong, some of ‘em could actually probably write code in their sleep, but none of them know how to put together a computer from the inside out.”

After a pause, during which the man -a lieutenant by his stripes- watched him with those startlingly blue eyes, Spock replied. “I am familiar with the subject, yes,” “Great. Could you give me a hand? I need to reconnect the induction coil before we can start poking around the matter converter, and you probably know what a pain _those_ are to fix. I’d tell the center to replace the thing, but they’re short on funds as is.” Kirk prattled on as Spock joined him under the replicator, watched by the curious child.

Two hours later, they were nearly done. Spock was mildly impressed. If he’d been on his own the job would have taken 63.98 percent longer and would not have included the upgrades to the device that Kirk was putting in without a second thought.

“Aaaaaand- yes! Got it!” The lieutenant crowed in delight, connecting the last wire in a shower of sparks. They were rewarded with a beep from the machine, which sprang to life, producing a bowl of what Spock believed were called ‘cheerios’ complete with chilled milk and sliced bananas. “Hah! Whaddya think about that, Davey? Is your Dad awesome or what?”

The child, who had long ago gotten bored, looked up from his toy starship. “I’m hungry,” he announced.

“I’m sure you are kiddo. How about we go get you that dinner I promised now?” Kirk stood, his tools already placed back in his bag. “Thanks for the help, Mr. Spock. I don’t know what I would’ve done had you not come. Bones’s on shift tonight, and there’s no one else I’d really trust to feed Davey here something other than candy. I probably would have had to rush the job, just to get the kid some food.”

“It wasno trouble,” Spock said, and it was true. He hadn’t anticipated enjoying the repair job, or the company of those on-site, but Jim Kirk was a… unique individual. His conversation, interspersed as it was between bouts of cursing and silence as he concentrated, was intelligent and educated, and had ranged across a wide variety of topics from antimatter use to the finer points of speaking Orion. Spock had hardly noticed the passage of time, and found himself strangely disappointed when the repairs were finished.

“Well, um, good. I’m glad. I’d love to stay and chat, but Davey might just mutiny if I don’t feed him. Here, let me give you my comm number so you can send me that article on computer engineering.” Kirk held out his hand for Spock’s padd, entering his information in when it was provided, and returned it. “We should get together sometime,” the lieutenant added, hoisting the child onto his hip. “I’d like to hear what you think about that lecture on Wednesday, the one about interstellar communication.”

“I would be agreeable to that, Mr. Kirk,” Spock responded, thrown slightly off-kilter by the human’s quick change of topic.

“Great!” Kirk picked up his tool box. “Then I’d better get going. See you around?”

“Indeed.” Spock doubted it, as both of them had been at the academy for several years without previously encountering one another. He returned to his apartment fully expecting to not hear from the lieutenant again, despite sending him the article he had requested. His meditation that night was unexplainably interrupted several times with images of the young man.


	2. Second Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock meets Lieutenant Kirk a second time, and finds that he wants to continue the association

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Sorry for any mistakes! (Feel free to let me know if you see some)

“Bullshit. You want me to believe nobody touched this thing and it just ‘happened’ to start throwing off sparks when you turned it on?” Spock was responding to a colleague’s request for assistance on a broken computer, two mornings after his encounter with Kirk, when he heard a familiar voice yelling from down the hall. Blue and purple sparks were shooting out the door where, presumably, the malfunctioning device was located.

“Oh no, we should hurry,” Commander Hirem commented, appearing worried. “I forgot it was Lieutenant Kirk that had reserved the lab next.”

“Do you anticipate a problem with the lieutenant?” Spock inquired, unsure of what issue the man might mean.

“Oh, no, nothing like that,” Hirem was quick to assure him. “Kirk’s a brilliant officer. He should be on a ship somewhere, not stuck waiting for the _Enterprise_ to finish. But he always manages to make my men feel like total idiots.”

“I see,” Spock said, although he truly did not. Hirem’s team consisted of seven brilliant scientists, who were not lacking in skill with technology. He had requested Spock’s aid, not because it was impossible for the men to fix the issue, but rather because it was protocol to call in the on-duty technician. It would be illogical for anyone to be capable of making them feel like ‘total idiots’. However, if he had learned one thing during his previous conversation with the man, Spock knew that Jim Kirk was something of a genius when it came to technology, and perhaps it was this skill that intimidated Hirem’s team.

 “No, I know you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s why you’re supposed to have an instructor on hand whenever you’re in this lab. What the fuck were you thinking, cadet?” Hirem pushed the door further open, allowing Spock to see Lieutenant Kirk, blue eyes blazing, staring down a young cadet who looked rather terrified of the officer.

“I- I’m sorry, sir. I just, I wanted to get a head start on the project, and…” the boy was probably a sophomore, nineteen or twenty years old. Kirk looked him in the eyes, and seemed to notice how scared the boy was. He relaxed, taking a step away from the boy.

“Right. I know. You didn’t mean anything to happen,” he sighed and rubbed a hand across his forehead. “But you’ve made a lot of work for some other people, mister. Next time you want to work on a project, give me a call. Or one of your other teachers. Any of us would be willing to help you out, given enough advanced notice.”

“Yes sir. Sorry sir.” The cadet glanced at the door, obviously hoping to be released soon. Lieutenant Kirk followed his gaze.

“Hirem! Right on time! And- Spock! Hey! What brings you here?”

Spock raised an eyebrow, questioning the human’s seeming need to question the obvious.

“Hah. Right, you’re here to help fix these damn computers.” He turned back to the boy, who was now turning a delicate shade of red under Spock’s gaze. “Looks like you’ve been saved by the bell, cadet. Or, the commanders,” Kirk shot a wry smile at Spock and Commander Hirem. “You’re free to go. But remember what I said. Call me next time.”

“Yessir. I will, sir,” the boy saluted, fleeing the room before the lieutenant could change his mind.

“Was that really necessary, Kirk?” Commander Hirem frowned at the Lieutenant.

“Yes sir. Cadet Lewis has made several mistakes before, none as potentially costly as this one, but if I didn’t scare him into paying attention now he might screw up one of the really important simulations.”

“I didn’t mean reprimanding the cadet, Lieutenant. I meant offering the supervision of instructors whenever a cadet wants to use an advanced computer system.” Spock didn’t understand the commander’s resistance to the idea. It was a good one, giving cadets access to necessary tools and promoting learning. True, it would require more of the instructors, but most of the time nothing would be required beyond mere presence and occasional advice. It would provide time away from an office where students were constantly dropping in, where work could get done. It was surprising such a policy was not already in place.

“Ah, relax, Hirem. You know they won’t call you. And if someone does, just say no. Word’ll get around you won’t help, and they’ll stop asking. I don’t mind, provided it doesn’t take away from my time with Davey, and I can use the time to finish those projects you keep sending me.”

Commander Hirem was not looking convinced. “The Lieutenant’s idea has merit,” Spock put in. “Both cadets and instructors could benefit from increased time with the programs, and it need not cut in to work time if an instructor brings his or her work to complete while watching over the cadets.”

“Hmph.” Hirem glanced between Spock and Kirk. “I suppose you’re right. But you,” he pointed at the lieutenant, “you’re the one that’ll have to sit through midnight study sessions in the computer labs.”

To Spock’s surprise, Kirk laughed, slapping the commander on the back. “Yeah, man. Exactly. The only time I can get any work done without a four-year-old climbing all over me. Thank god Davey sleeps like the dead once I put him down for the night.”

“I always said you were crazy, signing up to teach tech and combat with a kid. I don’t know how you do it.” Hirem shook his head, walking around to examine the computer spitting sparks. “So, what do we have here?”

“It’s something gone wrong in the hardware, it looks like. Lewis said he just turned it on, but I think he or somebody else messed with the wires beforehand, see, here, this one should be plugged in here, but…” Spock watched as Commander Hirem and Lieutenant Kirk dissected the malfunctioning device, adding input where necessary. He found himself in the rare position of feeling superfluous. It was obvious that Kirk and Hirem were more than capable of fixing the unit themselves, but every time Spock tried to take his leave, the lieutenant called him over to ask a question. It was puzzling, since he obviously knew the answer before he asked. But Spock stayed, which obviously pleased Kirk.

When the repairs were finished, it was almost 1100, and the next class was starting to arrive. Lieutenant Kirk grinned at Spock and Hirem, offering a hand up to the other human. He had elegant fingers, Spock noticed, and strong hands. “Shall we make our escape, before we get overrun with cadets?”

“I do not expect there is any danger of the cadets attacking us, lieutenant,” Spock replied, gathering his things anyway. The man stopped and looked at him for a moment before breaking out in laughter.

“No, I suppose not. But you never know with cadets.” Kirk ushered them out the door, pointing at a rather large cadet and gesturing between the boy and his own eyes with two fingers. “Especially Cupcake. He’s a scary one.”

“You know Giotto’s going to get you killed one of these days for that nickname, don’t you?” Hirem asked the lieutenant once they were out in the hallway.

“Nope, I’m too beautiful. He would miss seeing my pretty face.”

“And that’s why everyone wonders why the security-focus cadets are terrified of you.”

“The cadets are frightened of Lieutenant Kirk?” Spock asked, confused. He had asked a few people about Kirk after their first meeting, and everything he heard seemed to indicate that the cadets- and most officers- loved him.

“I wish,” Kirk laughed at him again. “Nah, they just like to pretend they are, so I’ll go easy on them in class.  Speaking of, I only have an hour or so before my next one. Care to grab some lunch with me, guys?”

The offer was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Spock had yet to reply to the email he had found waiting in his inbox the night before- an email from Lieutenant Kirk about the article he had sent. The young man had raised several points Spock found intriguing and wished to discuss with him.

“Nah, I’ve got to get back to my office. More work than time, you know?” Hirem clapped Kirk on the back and saluted Spock. “You boys have fun though.” He walked off down the hall.

“Spock?” Kirk looked at him entreatingly. Spock nodded.

“I have no work that needs my immediate attention at this time.”

“Great!” Kirk laughed and placed a hand on Spock’s back, turning him in the direction of the officer’s mess hall. Spock stiffened, his whole attention focused on the cool point of contact against his spine. “Ah, sorry.” He quickly removed his hand. “I forgot, you guys- vulcans- don’t do touching, do you?”

“We do not.” Spock had to concentrate on keeping his voice steady. It was the first time he had felt a casual touch since taking his leave of his mother, and it was entirely unexpected. Thankfully, the layers of cloth between them blocked any emotional transfer from the human.

“Sorry,” Kirk apologized again, looking genuinely regretful. “I’ll try to remember. Yell at me if it looks like I’m goanna forget, okay?”

Spock blinked, surprised. “You anticipate further accidental physical contact between us?”

“Well, I’m a touchy guy, and if we’re goanna keep hanging out, I’ll probably forget again. Bones- that’s my roommate- says it’s ‘cause I wasn’t hugged enough as a child.” The lieutenant was grinning at Spock, oblivious to the vulcan’s surprise. Spock had few friends at the academy- in fact, beyond Christopher Pike, he had none. He had become accustomed to the idea that he needed no companionship. And yet, the thought of Kirk wanting to spend time together was… gratifying.

Lunch, it turned out, was a brief but thoroughly diverting affair. Kirk told anecdotes about his time as a cadet (“I was such a little shit!”) and made observations about the other instructors at the academy (“He needs to get the stick removed from his ass, if you ask me.”) They also spent a few minutes discussing the article Spock had sent, but before the conversation could really get going Kirk was called away by a comm from another instructor.

Before he left, however, the lieutenant made a surprising invitation. He had just closed his comm unit and was looking at Spock with regret. “Sorry, Spock, I’ve got to go. Otherwise things’ll go to hell with Commander Merca gone. Beginning tactics is always tricky, even with an experienced teacher. And the sub has no idea what he’s doing.”

“I understand.” Spock did, it was quite logical to cut their lunch short for the good of the cadets, especially when Kirk had already eaten and was simply conversing with Spock as he finished his own meal.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I like it. I was having fun… hey, I know!” The lieutenant’s countenance had immediately brightened. “How about you come over for dinner tonight? It’s macaroni and cheese night, which, well, it’s not the most glamorous thing, but it’s Davey’s favorite. So every Friday, we have mac’n’cheese. Unless, you may not like macaroni.” Kirk’s face fell again. “I mean, you don’t have to come, obviously. Or, you know, we could meet up for lunch or something another day. If you want to, that is.” The uncharacteristic show of nervousness added another layer to the puzzle Spock was discovering around Kirk.

“Dinner tonight would be pleasant,” the vulcan assured the lieutenant.

“Really? Yay!” The smile was back, with stunning brilliance. “I’ll pick you up at six, at your office?” And just like that, Kirk was gone, and Spock had dinner plans for that evening.

 


	3. Third Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock gets a visitor, and then he and Jim go pick up Davey from preschool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and thank you for reading my silly little fic. Especially thanks to those who leave kudos or comments, it's wonderful to know people actually like my writing. Feedback is lovely, like pie.

To: Commander Spock ([Spock@starfleet.fed](mailto:Spock@starfleet.fed))

From: Lieutenant James Kirk ([KirkJT@starfleet.fed](mailto:KirkJT@starfleet.fed))

Subject: Re: Re: Sub-space communication article

Attachment: Articlecomments.docz

 Hey Spock!

 Davey’s really looking forward to dinner tonight. I let him know you’d be coming when I stopped by the center to check on those repairs to the replicator. He wants to help me make dessert. I forgot to ask earlier, is there anything you can’t eat? I know vulcans are vegetarians, but is there anything you’re allergic to?

 Anyway, I’ve sent my mark-up on the article like you asked. I don’t know if this guy really knows what he’s talking about. Even a cadet would know that you don’t put antimatter into the matter converter without expecting drastic results, but it may not be that it would destroy a ship. He totally dismisses the idea that it could enhance the warp drive temporarily if used in a cold start. It would be tricky, I don’t think I’m capable of doing the math for it, but still. You’re the scientist, what do you think?

 See you tonight!

\--Jim

 

* * *

 

“Spock?” A voice startled Spock, breaking his concentration on composing a reply to Lieutenant Kirk. He looked up to see Captain Pike standing in the doorway to his office, looking at him with some concern.

“Captain. What can I do for you?”

“You’ve been staring at that screen for the past five minutes without moving. What’s so interesting?” Captain Pike entered the room, sliding into his accustomed seat across from Spock.

“Sir?”

“I’m asking what you’re working on. I didn’t think you had any big projects lately.”

Spock’s left eyebrow elevated a fraction of a centimeter. “I do not.”

“Huh. Then what were you doing just now?” Captain Pike was an inquisitive human, and he liked to know about the people under his command. However he did not often ask Spock about personal matters. Therefore, it was likely he did not think Spock had been working on an email. Interesting.

“I was replying to a question posed by an acquaintance.”

Captain Pike appeared surprised. “You’re emailing a friend?”

“Yes.”

“Huh.” The captain was staring at him. “I don’t think you’ve ever talked about friends before. May I ask what you two are talking about?”

“We are discussing the implications of matter and anti-matter in reactor engines.” Spock watched the captain’s face as he replied. The man seemed oddly disappointed by his answer.

“Ah. So you’re just talking about work.” Interesting. It seemed that the captain was disappointed in their topic of choice.

“What else should we discuss? It is a topic we are both familiar with and find intriguing. However, the lieutenant did ask about my personal preferences and allergies in preparation for our meal tonight.” That information seemed to please Captain Pike, who smiled and settled back in his chair.

“You’re having dinner tonight, huh? So what’s his name?”

“Lieutenant James Kirk. Sir, is there a purpose to your questions?” Spock was unsure, most personal conversations with the captain consisting of inquiry about Spock’s health and assurance of his wellbeing.

“Kirk, huh? That kid…” the human smiled and shook his head. “No, Spock, no reason. Just natural human curiosity. I’m glad to hear you’re spending time with someone else outside of work. I was getting worried about you.”

Spock was uncertain how to reply to that. The captain had been worried? Presumably because he did not have any people he spent time with when not at work?

Captain Pike seemed to sense his confusion, leaning forward and looking Spock in the eyes. “A man needs friends, Spock. If only for something to take your mind off work. It’s not healthy for your life to be only about work.”

“I see. You are under the impression that vulcans have the same needs as humans.”

The captain shook his head. “No, Spock, I’m under the impression that everyone needs the chance to let off some steam, no matter how controlled your emotions.”

Spock took some time to consider his answer to that. Obviously the captain was mistaken, but it would be difficult to get him to see what was wrong with his opinion. However, before he could reply, Captain Pike spoke again.

“Anyway, I didn’t actually come to interrogate you about your personal life. I’ve got a project for you. The plans for the _Enterprise_ just came across my desk, and I need someone to take a look at the science stations. I’m not entirely sure they’re up to our specifications.”

It was a shift in gears, but Spock was accustomed to rapid changes of topic in his conversations with his captain. “I see. If you will forward them to me, I will examine them. Are there any particular areas you wish me to focus on?”

Two hours later, Captain Pike left Spock’s office with a padd filled with altered plans for the new flagship, ready to be submitted to the construction team. Spock was satisfied with the designs, though it was unlikely all their changes would be accepted. It was a unique opportunity to be able to contribute to the design of the ship he would later work on, and Spock appreciated the chance he was being given. It was not an exaggeration to say that the vulcan anticipated being the _Enterprise_ ’s first officer, in fact, Spock was certain it would be a defining experience in his life.

 

\--

 

Half an hour after Captain Pike departed, a knock on the door alerted Spock to another visitor. A quick glance at the chronometer confirmed that it was 18:06 and Lieutenant Kirk was six minutes late. Spock commanded the door to open, revealing the human.

“Hey, Spock. Sorry I’m late, I got caught up in some tricky coding, and… well, it doesn’t really matter, but, uh, yeah. Sorry.” Spock raised an eyebrow at the halting apology. Six minutes was hardly a problem- humans had shown a tendency to lateness in Spock’s experience. “Yeah. Anyway, ready to go?” Lieutenant Kirk was smiling again, and Spock felt his heart beat faster. He willed it back to a normal pace and made a mental note of it. So far, instances of his body acting strangely had only occurred around the lieutenant. Perhaps it was a mild allergy to the human’s cologne?

“I have one more item to finish, and then we may depart. I estimate it should take no longer than five point two minutes. My apologies, my captain came in with a project I was not expecting, and I lost time on another assignment.” Captain Pike had taken up 2.5 percent more time than Spock’s planning had allowed for unexpected occurrences, causing him to fall slightly behind in his work for the afternoon.

“Sure, no problem. Mind if I just wait here then?” Lieutenant Kirk moved into the room without an invitation, looking around with interest at the items Spock had on display. They were there more for the benefit of his students than for his own interest in frivolous decoration, but he did have several artifacts from Vulcan that the lieutenant seemed particularly interested in.

“Of course. Please make yourself comfortable.” Spock returned his gaze to his computer and attempted to ignore the investigation Lieutenant Kirk was making of his rooms. It was difficult. The human kept making small noises of interest, or picking up items to examine them closer. He spent a great deal of time by the bookshelf, gently running his fingers down the spines of Spock’s few real paper books. He handled them with reverence, another unexpected observation to add into the puzzle.

Finally, eleven point three minutes later, Spock had completed his work to a satisfactory level. His guest had proved more distracting than he had estimated, resulting in the increased work time. Spock added that to the list of information he was gathering on his reactions to the lieutenant.

“Ready?” Kirk looked up from where he’d settled himself by Spock’s chess set.

“I am prepared to leave, yes,” Spock answered, powering down his computer. The human grinned, standing in one fluid motion.

“Great. Davey’s probably chomping at the bit to get home.”

“You allow your son to chew on equestrian guiding equipment?” Spock asked, favoring the man with a raised eyebrow. Kirk’s deep laugh rang out, and Spock admitted to himself that he rather liked the sound of it.

“It’s an expression, Spock. Means he’s probably really ready to go.”

“I see. Then we should not keep your son waiting.” The vulcan ushered Kirk out into the hall, and then followed him to the academy’s child care center.

 

\--

 

Opening the door to the ‘day care’ released a wave of noise Spock had not expected. Children were running around in the reception area, followed by harried looking parents- most in Starfleet uniforms. A few of them greeted Kirk, glancing at Spock before chasing after their children. “Most parents pick up their kids around this time,” the human explained, grinning as a small orion girl came racing past them. The boy following her stopped short as he caught sight of the lieutenant, and his face broke into a wide grin.

“DADDY!!” David, whom Spock recognized as he ran towards them, barreled straight into Kirk’s legs with an audible thump.

“Hey there kiddo,” the lieutenant picked the child up, settling him on his hip. “What are you doing out of your classroom, huh?”

“I’m so, so sorry sir.” A young teacher hurried up to them. “I was looking after the other children, and David was playing with Kiera, but when I looked back, they were gone. I left Donna with the others and came looking for them, but-“

Kirk held up his free hand, stopping the woman’s rushed speech. “It’s alright. You’re new, Miss Wright, yeah? You’ll probably hear from the other teachers, but Davey can be kind of a handful.” Here, he leveled a disapproving look at the boy, who was watching his father’s face intently. David just grinned. “Especially around pick-up time on Fridays. He knows better though. Because if he does it again,” and this comment was directed at the boy, “he’s going to miss out on macaroni night.”

“But Dad!” David squirmed in Kirk’s arms.

“No buts, mister. You remember what we said last time. Now, are you going to behave, or do I have to tell Mister Spock we’re having something else for dinner tonight?”

The child looked appropriately shame-faced, nodding mutely. Kirk smiled and ruffled his hair.  “That’s settled then. Other than this little escape attempt, how was today?”

It took little time for the teacher to relay the day’s events to the lieutenant, and for Kirk to sign his son out of the facility. Once he had collected the child’s things, the human turned to Spock with a grin. “Alrighty. Time to get going. Sorry, dinner’s goanna be a little late tonight.” He then shifted his son in his arms, turning the boy to look at the vulcan. “Davey, you remember Mister Spock, right?” David nodded, giving Spock a small wave before turning shy and hiding his face in his father’s shirt. “Heh, now he decides to by shy. Don’t worry, he’ll be talking your ear off soon.”

Spock nodded. “It is unlikely I will lose an ear from conversation with your son. However, I understand that children are sometimes reticent with people they do not know well.”

Kirk laughed. “No, I don’t suppose you would actually lose an ear. But I bet you you’ll wish you could after hanging with us for a few hours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Macaroni Night!!


	4. Macaroni Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is later than normal, my computer died the death of a hard used but well loved machine last week, and I lost most of my files. Also, thank you so much for reading. From here on out, I'm going to try my best to update on fridays, every other week. If I get enough done, I might move that up to once a week in the next couple of months.

Kirk’s prediction that his son would become more loquacious as time wore on proved entirely accurate, if slow to come true. He was silent as they walked to the Kirks’ apartment, responding only in monosyllables, if at all. The first signs of life came when they entered the room, and the boy spotted another man lounging on the couch.

“Uncle Bones!” David squirmed out of his father’s hold, running to the man.

“Hey there Davey,” he laughed, swinging the child up into his arms. “Finally home, I see.” This last was addressed to the lieutenant, who grinned sheepishly.

“We were both caught up in work, and then Davey tried to escape the center before I came to get him, so we had to calm his teacher down. Probably not the way Spock expected to start the night, huh, Spock?” Kirk grinned at the vulcan. The other man’s gaze followed his, his eyebrows raising as he looked Spock up and down.

“So you’re Spock? The kid here’s been talking about you non-stop for the past few days.”

“Bones!” Kirk interrupted. Spock was momentarily confused- had Kirk’s son been talking about him? Why?- Until the man gestured to Kirk.

“The way he tells it, you’re the smartest person on campus.”

“Bones!” the lieutenant said again, this time with more warning in his voice.

“Right, sorry, I forgot, you don’t like other people knowing you think they’re awesome.”

“You’re a bag of dicks,” Kirk told the man, before turning back to Spock. “This asshole actually thinks he’s funny. Anyway, he’s my roommate, Doctor Leonard McCoy. Bones, this is Spock.”

“It is pleasing to meet you,” Spock said, the formality falling stiff from his lips. Kirk laughed.

“I’m sure,” the doctor said, sending Kirk a look that Spock couldn’t read.

“Well,” the lieutenant clapped his hands, diffusing the tension Spock wasn’t entirely certain was his fault. “Now that we’re all acquainted, let’s get cooking!”

The vulcan followed the man through the small apartment to the kitchen, which was larger than he had expected. A table took up a portion of the floor, covered in what looked like both child’s arts and crafts things and odds and ends from a half constructed computer, which sat on its own small table near the larger one. A set of medical textbooks sat on the counter, likely the doctor’s. Also on the counter were four boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese dinosaur shapes, a very large cooking pot, and other common kitchen implements. The only other thing of note was the refrigerator, which was covered in a child’s drawings. A replicator sat unobtrusively in the corner, overshadowed by the large stove.  

Kirk noticed Spock’s inspection. “Sorry it’s not exactly state-of-the-art. Even with Bones’ help, we can’t afford much on an instructor’s budget, and bedrooms were more important.”

“I see.”

“Uh-huh. Well, you have any experience cooking?”

“I have had occasion to experience it. It is not unlike a science.” Spock had assisted his mother with preparing meals at home since he was a small child. She often said he was quite good at it.

“Good, then, mind boiling the water?” The lieutenant had already taken charge of the kitchen, pulling several containers from the cupboards and tossing pots and pans onto the counter.

Spock picked up the largest pot and read the recipe on the back of one of the macaroni boxes. Following the directions, he measured out exactly enough water and put it on the stove to boil. Meanwhile, Kirk had started measuring what appeared to be two different kinds of flour into a bowl, ignoring the measuring cups on the counter and guessing the proper amounts by sight.

“Daddy, no,” David and Doctor McCoy had followed them into the kitchen, and now the little boy ran over to where Kirk was standing. “You need the salt first, ‘member?”

“I’ve got it, squirt. The flour comes first, and then we add the salt.”

“But you have to have a one and one-two cups of each flour,” the child picked up a measuring cup. “Mr Spock, daddy says you’re smart. Tell him he needs to measure correctly.”

“David is right, Lieutenant. It is often helpful to follow the recipe exactly.”

“Okay, one- Spock, we’re not at work. I’m Jim. Two- this is my recipe, I’ve made it since I was a kid. So I’m pretty sure this is the _only_ way to make this one correctly. Davey, go help Spock open the noodle boxes.”

“But _Dad_!” The child looked up at Spock, “Mr. Spock’s got it. I wanna help you.”

Kirk- Jim laughed. “Alright, then go get the butter. Sorry Spock. Normally Davey opens the boxes for me.”

“But normally you’re not making your famous shortbread cookies,” the doctor said, sitting down at the table.

“True enough,” Kirk carried the bowl of flours over to the counter. “Doesn’t mean he’s going to give up his favorite job, am I right?”

“No!” David turned from the refrigerator, where he had been standing on his toes to reach a drawer with butter in it. “I still get to open the cheese packets!”

“Sounds good. Spock, when you open the boxes, hand Davey the cheese packets?”

“Of course.” Spock did so, carefully tearing open the blue boxes to reveal noodles and foil packets that likely contained the cheese. These, he pulled out and passed to the child, who had left the refrigerator door open, forgetting about the butter.

“Don’t open ‘em until the noodles are done, ‘kay, kiddo?” Jim said, watching his son for an indication he’d heard. David nodded.

“Spock, can you heat up two sticks of that sweet cream butter until they melt? Thanks,” the lieutenant was now measuring salt carefully into the bowl with the flours.

“That’s sweet butter. It’s different from other butter because it’s made from fresh cream, not for- far- uh… fermenanted.” Spock looked down to see David, holding the four cheese packets carefully to his chest with one hand, using the other to point at the sticks of butter Spock was pulling from the refrigerator.

“I see. I thought that most butter was made from fresh cream. Is this not so?”

“Yep, but that’s why most butter is sweet cream butter. Daddy said so. And this is special butter, it’s from Ireland. It’s what Grandma always uses. You have to put it in that pan-“ the boy pointed to a large flat pan with a handle, “and put that on the stove until the butter melts. _This_ butter,” David reached into the refrigerator, once again standing on his toes and straining to touch the shelf.

“Ah!” Spock saw the boy start to fall and quickly came to the rescue, sliding an arm around the child’s waist and steadying him. “Thanks,” David grabbed the stick of butter he was reaching for, and fell back into Spock’s arms. “This butter you need to put in the pan with the noodles after you get rid of the water.”

Just then, the pot on the stove started boiling, and David demanded Spock put the macaroni noodles into the water. They set a timer together for ten minutes, before the child then told Spock he had to melt the butter for the shortbread. Jim watched, laughing, as his son guided Spock through the preparations of their meal, only breaking in to collect the melted butter from the stove. Then, while Spock strained the water from the noodles, Kirk and David carefully mixed the butter and some sugar together, before stirring that into a bowl with the flours and salt. Before they could do any more with it, though, David was back over next to Spock, tugging on his arm until he could pour the contents of the cheese packets into the noodles. He then directed Spock in adding butter and milk to the mixture, tasting the result and pronouncing it done.

“Very good, you’ve pleased our master chef, Spock,” Kirk leaned back in his chair, looking at Spock and David. “Do you think we can put the shortbread in the oven now, Davey?”

The boy walked over to where Jim had two round pans filled with dough on the table.

“Looks good,” he said, picking them up.

“Woah there kiddo,” the doctor stood, taking the pans from David as he approached the oven. “That’s hot, we don’t want you burning yourself.”

“But Uncle Bones,” the child whined, reaching after the man.

“No, remember what happened to your daddy last week? That’s what’ll happen to you if you go sticking your hands in the oven. Move over.” This last was addressed to Spock, who stepped aside as McCoy opened the oven and placed the pans in.

David pouted, at least until Kirk started pulling plates down and helping the doctor clear off the table. Spock felt slightly superfluous at that moment, unsure of what he should be doing.

“Go ahead and sit, Spock. I’m just going to dish out the food, and we can eat while dessert bakes. How hungry are you?”

“Lots!” David called from where the doctor was helping him into his chair.

“Me too,” McCoy told them.

“I am rather hungry,” Spock informed the lieutenant, who grinned at him.

“Great, we’ll all get lots then. Good thing they went back to putting a proper amount of noodles in the boxes. I hear, back in the 21st century, they barely had enough for one bowl in a box. I guess they didn’t think people ate meals that consisted of just Mac’n’cheese.”

Spock helped Jim carry the plates over to the table. “I suppose that could have been the case.”

“Yep.” The man nodded, “But really, the only thing that goes good with mac and cheese is hot-dogs. And I can’t eat those.”

“Why?” David wanted to know. Jim chuckled.

“It’s ‘cause when I was a little older than you, your uncle Sam- that’s my brother,” he explained to Spock, “told me that hot dogs were filled with pig’s guts, just after I’d eaten two. I got so sick, I can’t even think about eating one.”

“Just as well,” the doctor reached across the table to grab a fork, “you’re probably allergic to something in them. Not to mention mustard. And you can’t have hot dogs without mustard.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jim shook his head. “I’m pretty sure I’m not missing anything with that smelly stuff.”

“Mustard tastes nasty,” David commented, before digging into the bowl his father placed in front of him.

“Yeah, mustard probably tastes nasty. What kind of condiments do you usually use on Vulcan?” Kirk asked, turning to Spock. What followed was the most interesting two hours Spock had, to that point, spent on Earth. The discussion turned from condiments humans and vulcans used to favorite traditional foods, to places where they went to eat near the academy. A broad range of topics was exhausted by the time Kirk deemed the shortbread cool enough to eat, after pulling it from the oven.

Spock had never had shortbread before, it was not something his mother had made, and he would not claim to be adventurous in his eating habits at the academy. But this dessert was enough to make him rethink that idea, and agree to try other sweet things Kirk baked. The cookies, actually cut into wedge shapes instead of the round image the word conjured in Spock’s mind, were a flaky golden brown and seemed to melt the instant he put some in his mouth. It was a surprisingly pleasing balance of sweet and salty, and if he hadn’t seen it himself Spock would have thought it the product of careful measurements. Perhaps there was something to Kirk’s method after all.

After dinner, Jim and David convinced Spock to join them for a game of cards, which ended only when the child fell asleep on his father’s shoulder. Doctor McCoy then helped the lieutenant tuck David into bed, before grumbling about needing to sleep and leaving Spock and Jim alone in the kitchen.

“Well, I probably should clean up,” the man said, standing. He carried a pile of plates over to the counter. Spock followed with the rest of the dinner dishes. Jim turned, surprised, when he set them down. “You don’t have to help, you know. You’re the guest.”

“And yet it would be impolite of me to allow you to cook dinner for me without offering something in return.”

Kirk took a long, measuring look at Spock before breaking out that dazzling smile again. “Alright, I guess I can let you help. But that means I get to do something else for you.”

“I do not understand. I am offering to help in gratitude for dinner. There isn’t any requirement for you to do anything more for me.” This human was more confusing than most, and after tonight, Spock felt he still only had a small piece of the puzzle that was Jim Kirk.

“And that, right there, is why I’m going to. It’s no fun if you’re obligated. And I like you, Spock. You’re smart, a- interesting, and good with my kid.” Spock noted the slight pause, and wondered what Jim had been going to say before he changed it to interesting. “So. How about lunch on Monday?”

 

* * *

 

When Spock returned to his office the next morning, he noticed only one thing out of place- a white pawn on the chess set was moved from the starting position in a common opening play. Since it was unlikely the maintenance and cleaning people had moved it, Spock felt secure in assuming he knew who did. He picked up a black piece, and made an opening move of his own. This was bound to be an interesting game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week- actual plot!


	5. Accidents Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It’s Jim. There’s been an accident."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy. This is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are purely my own. I'm contemplating writing what's going on in this story arc from Jim's point of view as well and adding it as a sort of coda to this series, if people would be interested in reading that. Anyway, fair warning, the next few chapters will have some angst and hurt/comfort.

Time passed, as it always has and always will. Spock was issued a standing invitation to Macaroni Night at Jim and David’s, and soon his solitary dinners in his own apartment changed to eating every night with the lieutenant and his son. In the six months after first meeting Jim Kirk, Spock found himself in the human’s company more and more often. Hardly a day passed where Jim wouldn’t drop by Spock’s office just to say hello or drag the vulcan off to get lunch somewhere. Often, when he was once again alone in his office after these encounters, Spock would find a new move on their ongoing chess game. He could never seem to catch Jim moving the pieces, but it was obvious after a few times who was doing it. The first game had taken three weeks, and Spock had won with not inconsiderable effort. The second had taken longer, and Jim had been the victor. Spock was currently winning their fifth game, and contemplating asking his friend to sit down for a full match. It was bound to be fascinating.

The change in Spock’s life was gradual but definite, and others noticed it, even if he did not. After three months, he and Jim were all but inseparable- more often than not, if someone invited Jim, they invited Jim-and-Spock, and if Spock was to attend an event, it was understood that it would be Spock-and-Jim that came. David warmed up to Spock, calling him ‘Mister Spock’ with much the same tone he used for ‘Uncle Bones’.

Four months after their first meeting, Jim left David with Spock for a day. Spock was aware that leaving a child with someone was a remarkable show of trust, and was gratified that Jim was willing to trust him with the boy. After that, David refused to let anyone other than Spock or Doctor McCoy ‘babysit’ him.

Spock was the happiest he’d been since leaving Vulcan, perhaps even since he had been a very small child. However, he would not admit that to himself. Happiness was an emotion. He convinced himself that he would be fine if, someday, Jim and David left his life. It took a very near miss for Spock to understand just how wrong he was.

 

* * *

 

The day started out the same as any other, with a few minor changes. Jim was off-planet, on a routine mission to one of the closer Federation colonies. Instead of sharing lunch in the officer’s mess, Spock commed Jim from his office. His friend was eating breakfast in the room he shared with another lieutenant, but once he answered the comm, he didn’t stop talking until Spock’s lunch break was over. He was excited about the upcoming mission- the colonists had detected some strange life signs in an unexplored section of the planet, and Jim and his team were going to check it out. He promised to tell Spock all about it when they spoke the next day, and Spock suppressed a surge of fondness at the way Jim insisted they call each other even when they couldn’t share lunch in person. The only other person, besides David, that Jim commed with any regularity was McCoy.

Spock signed off when Jim went on duty, returning to the experiments he was currently conducting. Before long, the vulcan was absorbed into the charts of data, manipulating his equipment with his usual efficiency. If, on occasion, he wondered what Jim would think of a particular result, the thoughts were quickly suppressed.

He was working on a terraforming technique late that evening when an urgent ring roused him from his duties. It was unexpected- Spock was in the botany lab, and had left explicit instructions for his coworkers to refrain from disturbing him from the delicate experiment.

The ring sounded again, louder and more urgent, accompanied by desperate knocking on the door to the lab.

“Enter,” the words had barely left Spock’s mouth before the doors were sliding open to admit a frantic-looking McCoy, carrying a softly sobbing David.

“Doctor McCoy,” Spock stood, heart sinking. Inwardly, he chided himself- fear was an emotion. He repressed it. Violently.

“It’s Jim. There’s been an accident.”

Perhaps the fear was not as repressed as he thought.

“What happened?” Spock asked, keeping his voice level with some effort.

“We don’t know yet. His team lost contact two hours ago, and nobody can find them. They think they were attacked, the last place we know they were had signs of some sort of fight. Just…look, I need to-“ the doctor had a confusing array of emotions crossing his face, and even after years of associating with humans Spock still couldn’t read his expression. “We’re sending up a rescue team, and I’ve got to go. I’m the only one that can put the kid back together, what with his damn allergies and- well. You’re the only other person Jim trusts with Davey, and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Winona- Jim’s mom- she’s coming, but it’ll take her some time- she’s off-planet too. Can you watch David until she gets here?”

“Of course,” the words were out of his mouth before Spock even thought about them. “Unless I could be of more use on the rescue team-“

“We’ve got all the scientists we need,” McCoy said, frowning at Spock. “You can help Jim best by watching his kid for him- god knows why he trusts you, but he does.”

“I am trained in combat, and, as a vulcan, my strength-“ Spock still didn’t really know what had happened, but he knew if Jim was in trouble, he should do his best to help.

“Pike’s got all the people he needs. We just need to get off the ground, which means I need to go, _now_. Are you going to take Davey or not?” the doctor nearly shouted. David cringed, burrowing his head into McCoy’s shoulder. Spock was torn. Someone needed to look after the child, that much was clear, but he was also taken with an overwhelming need to get to Jim. And yet, what could Spock do that a team trained for this sort of thing- whatever this sort of thing was- could not? Logically, he would be of best use keeping David safe so that Jim could be assured his son was taken care of.

“You will keep me updated of any developments?” He had meant it as an order, but it came out as a question. McCoy sighed, relieved, and gently unhooked David’s hands from his shirt.

“I’ll update you when I can. I’m sure Jim’ll want to talk to Davey the minute he gets back to a communicator, so we’ll call you then.”

“Of course,” Spock reached out and took the child, who immediately wound his small arms around Spock’s neck, hiding his face in the vulcan’s shirt. He felt… small, fragile. Fear was leaking though to Spock even through the layers of cloth between them, and the vulcan could already feel tears soaking into his shirt.

“Good. Look- he’ll be fine. Davey, Mister Spock is goanna take care of you until your daddy comes home, okay?”

David looked up and sniffed. “’Kay”. McCoy disappeared out the door.

“Mister Spock?” the boy turned his tear-filled gaze to Spock’s face.

“Yes, David?” Spock was already moving, returning to his office where he could access more information about what had happened from his computer.

“Daddy’s goanna come home, yeah?”

“Yes. Your father will return to us.” Of that, Spock was certain. He would not allow it to be otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Thursday, March 14th.


	6. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and David comfort each other in Jim's absence. (Or, Spock and Davey fluff!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I got some good news, and had to do some preparations because of it. Please enjoy this fluffy little chapter, and check back for more at the end of the week!

Receiving information on Jim’s whereabouts was easier said than done, especially with a four-year-old. David refused to be put down, clinging tightly to Spock’s shirt and protesting loudly. While the vulcan could have easily dislodged the child, he did not. It was illogical, but David’s presence in his arms was reassuring. He had been witness to the strong bond between parent and child, and could not help believing that no matter the circumstances, Jim would move heaven and earth to return to his son.

However, continuing to hold David presented a problem- accessing the computer around the boy. It took a few attempts before Spock settled into his seat, David curled up on his lap. By reaching around him, Spock was able to use his computer with minimal awkwardness, until the child shifted and grabbed on to Spock’s arm, wrapping it around himself.

“David, I require the use of my arm,” Spock informed the boy. David shook his head, trying to burrow further into Spock’s shirt and holding on tight to his forearm.

“No.”

“I need to access the computer for information on your father, and for that I require my arm.”

“No!” David held him even tighter, and where their skin touched, Spock could feel fear rolling of the boy in waves. He needed a minute to simply deal with the emotions David was unknowingly sharing, the torrent of feelings was too large to easily push it away. Part of Spock marveled at how such a small child could hold such enormous emotions, but that was part of what made him human. It was… fascinating. But painful, as well. Somewhere inside of himself, Spock’s emotions mirrored that of the boy’s. They were pushed down, locked away under layers of logic, but at the very core, his fear was just as potent.

“Commander Spock?” The intercom on the door sounded, bringing an end to his introspection. Spock commanded the doors to open, revealing a nervous young cadet carrying a padd and looking with uncertainty at the vulcan and David.

“Yes?” Spock carefully monitored his outward appearance, making certain none of his illogical emotions showed themselves to the boy.

“Captain Pike sent this for you-“ he held out the padd. “It’s all we know about the missing team. Well, not you know, about the team, but about what’s happened. He says you might see something useful.”

“I see.” Spock made a mental note to thank the captain upon his return. The man had a gift for knowing what people needed.

“Yeah, um, you just need to sign here,” the cadet held a stylus out, and Spock used his free hand to sign the padd. The unit beeped, confirming his acceptance, and the cadet relinquished it. “Um…”

“Was there something else?” Spock felt an eyebrow lift up as the boy stared down at David in Spock’s lap.

“Nosir. Sorry, sir.” He shook his head, backing out of the room.

“Who was that?” David asked, turning his head so he could look up at Spock.

“A cadet. He brought me information from Captain Pike.”

“Oh. He was silly.” David lessened his death grip on Spock’s arm.

“How so?” Spock was not certain he understood the child’s meaning.

“He was scared of you. But you’re not scary.”

“Some people would say otherwise.” Spock was… pleased that David did not find him frightening.

“Then they’re silly too. Daddy says you’re the best officer in the fleet. And good officers shouldn’t be scary.” David nodded, firmly convinced of his conviction.

“Sometimes it is an officer’s job to frightening,” Spock told the boy. David nodded again.

“Yeah, but not to other officers. Unless they’re bad officers. Daddy says those get kicked out. They’re scary to everyone, and that’s not what Starfleet is for. Starfleet is to help people.”

“Your father said that?” Spock was not surprised that Jim would tell his son such things. He seemed to believe in, if not the reality of Star Fleet, the ideal that they were meant to strive for. “I’m going to make that idea a reality,” he had told Spock one day. Spock believed he meant it.

“Mm-hmm.” David seemed to be calming down, uncurling from the tight ball he had been in and looking around the room. When Spock brushed a hand across his skin- not intruding on his thoughts, rather simply sensing his emotions- his fear seemed to have receded somewhat.

“It is the sort of thing I would expect of him. He will make a very good captain someday.”

“Someday soon. He said he wanted to have his own ship by the time he was 30. I thought it was a long way away, but he said he’ll be 30 soon.”

“Indeed. He would be the youngest captain in the history of Starfleet, should that happen.”

“He’ll do it, watch.”

“I do believe he will.” And the strange thing was, Spock did believe. Just as he believed that Jim was going to return to them. With Jim, there could be no other alternative.

 

Soon after that conversation, David fell asleep in Spock’s lap as the vulcan read the files Captain Pike had sent. It seemed that the planet was a relatively new colony, which had previously been believed devoid of sentient life outside of the settlement. New scans, however, had picked up activity that looked like a civilization several hundred miles away from where the federation had established a small town. This much, Spock had heard from Jim. What he hadn’t heard- what it was likely Jim did not know- was that more recent scans had picked up signs of large animals moving closer to the colony.

The team that included Jim had been sent to investigate, in an attempt to understand if this really was an indigenous population, or if some other group had attempted to settle the planet. If the former, they were to evaluate whether or not contact could safely be made without harming the Prime Directive (unlikely- Spock estimated a 78.45 percent chance that the civilization, if such it was, had yet to achieve warp capability), or if the colony should be relocated to an uninhabited planet. If the latter, they were to report back for further instructions. However, they did not make it to the area the scans had indicated. Instead, they had lost contact with the colony halfway to the destination. When a shuttle was sent out to find them, the body of one officer had been found, lying next to a pile of broken communicators.

Preliminary expectations were that Jim and his team had been taken prisoner, though for what reasons it was unclear. No effort to contact the colony had been made, though perhaps they were simply waiting to see if they could torture information out of the officers before giving an ultimatum. At maximum warp, it would take a ship 8.3 hours to reach the colony, and then however long for the rescue team to find Jim and the other officers, rescue them, and return to the ship. Spock estimated that he would not receive any more information for several hours, and it was getting quite late. To ensure a productive and adaptable state of mind the next day, he should return home and get some rest. That way, he would be better able to assist the rescue team, should they require anything. Sliding the padd into a bag, he stood, shifting David to a more comfortable position for carrying.

Unfortunately, his movements roused the boy, who blinked sleepily up at him. “Daddy?” he asked, sounding distressed.

“No, sa-kan*.”

“Oh.” David stared at Spock’s face for a few moments before curling back up in his arms. “Mister Spock, when is Daddy coming home?”

“Soon. Doctor McCoy and Captain Pike will inform us when we know.”

“Okay.” David sighed, which turned into a yawn far larger than Spock had assumed the child to be capable of making.

“You should return to sleep,” Spock advised the boy, who nodded in agreement, snuggling closer to Spock’s chest, gripping his shirt tight with one small hand. Soon, he was letting out soft snores as Spock walked back to his apartment.

Once there, Spock carefully tucked the boy into his bed. He then took a pillow and blanket for himself, and made up a bed on the couch. He attempted to meditate, but it quickly proved impossible- he could not calm his mind when images of Jim in danger kept appearing. It was so bad, he supposed, because he had no information to go on. The not knowing was what worried him most. If they had some knowledge of what was happening, it would be easier to calm his fears. As it was, Spock simply had to remind himself that Jim was an experienced officer with a team of highly trained personnel, and another well regarded team was on their way to rescue them.

Sometime after giving up on meditation, while he was settling into his makeshift bed, Spock became aware of another presence in the room. By the dim light filtering in from outside, he could make out a small form standing in the doorway to his bedroom. Spock sat up.

“Are you unable to sleep?” he asked, turning on a light to better see David, who was watching him with tired blue eyes. The boy nodded.

“I don’t have Binky.” Binky, Spock recalled, was the stuffed monkey David usually slept with- it had been given to him by Jim on the day of his birth. Unfortunately, it was locked in Jim’s apartment, to which Spock did not have a key, and Doctor McCoy had failed to provide him with a way to get David’s things.

“Binky is in your room at home,” the vulcan informed the child, mentally picturing Jim’s face if he ever heard Spock actually say the word ‘binky’. It was bound to be an amusing expression.

“I know _that_ ,” David looked at Spock disapprovingly. “But Daddy always lets me sleep with him if I forget Binky.”

“Your father is not here.” David just stared at him. Spock was uncertain what to do. David was obviously tired and they were both in need of rest. However, it was just as clear that the boy wouldn’t go back to bed unless something was done about the missing stuffed animal.

David walked over to Spock, and proceeded to climb onto the couch, pulling the blanket up over his legs.

“You wish to sleep here with me?” Spock asked, surprised. He was unsure of the proper protocol in this situation, knowing it was common for human parents to let their children spend the night in the bed with them when they couldn’t sleep, but unsure whether that applied to temporary caretakers or family friends. David nodded.

“I see. Perhaps the bed would provide more room,” Spock suggested. David nodded again, letting the vulcan pick him up. Spock carried him back to the bedroom, once again tucking him into bed. He sat down, intending to go back to the couch once David was asleep, but the boy clung to his hand. Whenever Spock thought he was safely asleep and tried to pull away, David would wake up, gripping his hand tighter. The emotions that came across from the contact would sharply spike with anxiety, only calming down once Spock returned to the bed. Eventually, he gave in to the inevitable, and stretched out next to the child. David immediately wrapped his arms around Spock’s left forearm, holding on much as the vulcan had seen him hold the stuffed monkey in his sleep. It seemed that, for this night at least, Spock would stand in for the toy. He was surprised to find that, for David, he did not mind.

* * *

*sa-kan, vuclan for a male child/boy. I’m using it here as a sort of term of endearment, though I could be wrong. Anyone who knows more about vulcan, please feel free to correct me/point me in the direction of better terms for Spock to use for Davey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Thursday or Friday, featuring Jim's return!


	7. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock meets Winona, and Jim comes home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is unbetaed, and probably my least favorite chapter in terms of the final result (I love the scenes, but the writing just feels off), so it might get edited later. Please let me know what you think!

In the end, Spock ended up taking care of David for two weeks. The first day, the boy refused to be dropped off at his daycare center. By the third, Spock had developed a sort of routine, feeding himself and David, taking him to the center- where he would refuse to go in- and then allowing him to accompany him to work. A few of his co-workers who had children of their own donated toys and books to keep David occupied while Spock worked, and the vulcan used some of his excess income to buy clothing for the boy. He also purchased a stuffed animal that vaguely resembled a tribble with ears (the description said it was supposed to be a cat, but it in no way looked like an earth feline.) Spock was gratified to see that it comforted the boy some, and David quickly took to carrying it everywhere he went.

Five days after Doctor McCoy left David with Spock, the vulcan was in his office with David when the door alarm sounded. Both looked up. This had happened every time someone came to the door, or when the comm unit rang, or someone called Spock or David’s name. Five days of living on edge, waiting for news, was starting to take its toll on both of them. Spock had less control over his emotions than normal, and David was likely to cry at the slightest provocation. Something needed to change, and soon, or it was likely to drive one or both of them mad. Fortunately, the agent of change was waiting on the other side of the door.

“Enter,” Spock commanded, hardly daring to hope that this time he would have news. The door slid open, revealing a woman he had never seen before. She wore a commander’s stripes and the red shirt of engineering or security, the phaser at her hip suggesting her profession was the latter. She frowned at Spock when the door opened, looking around the room until her gaze fell on David.

“Davey!” The woman grinned, getting down on her knees on the floor and holding out her hands to the boy. David came running to her with a cry of “Gramma!” This, coupled with the woman’s striking resemblance to Jim and David, brought Spock to assume that she was Winona Kirk, Jim’s mother, David’s grandmother.

“Commander Kirk,” Spock stood, saluting the woman. He felt oddly nervous, but quashed the feeling- it was illogical.

Winona turned her gaze to him, settling David firmly on her hip and standing. Spock felt as if he were being evaluated, though the commander seemed not to come to a decision. “So you’re the one that’s been looking after this little scamp, huh?” she said, ruffling David’s hair. David grinned and giggled.

“Mister Spock’s waiting for Daddy.”

“I know sweetheart,” the commander said before turning back to Spock. “Mind telling me why I had to search all over the academy before I found my grandson in your office, when he’s supposed to be in school?” She was angry, which was understandable given the circumstances.

“I felt it prudent to keep David in an environment in which he felt comfortable, which he assured me is not the school. Also, he wished to be near me when information about Jim reached us, and derives comfort from my presence in the absence of his father. As he is a well behaved child and his presence does not interrupt my work, I saw no problem keeping the boy with me.”

“He says I don’t like school, but I like Spock, and Spock likes me, and we’re both worried about Daddy,” David informed his mother. As he was not entirely inaccurate, Spock did not correct him.

“I see.” The commander was staring at Spock again, this time with a calculating expression. “The first thing you should know about human kids, Spock, is that none of them like school. It’s like, a mandate. They’ll do just about anything to get out of going.” Spock found that statement to be unlikely- he knew several humans who professed a joy in learning. But perhaps it was different with children. As his only experience with human children was limited to David and occasional brief interactions with others when picking David up from class with Jim, he would defer to more knowledgeable sources. However, he would make a point of asking Jim when he got back.

“But even though they don’t like it, kids still have to go to school. It’s important. David should be in class.”

“I see. However, David still seemed to benefit from staying with me. I took the liberty of procuring his ‘homework’ from his teachers, but he is far above the level of his classmates. Over the past three days, I was able to provide some learning games and material normally covered in a second grade class that David was able to complete with minimal errors. Jim has informed me that he consistently supplements David’s lessons with such material, and I feel that his presence with me has not harmed his education.” Indeed, Jim had just the week before explained that the only reason he kept his son in the preschool program was so he could socialize with his peers- something that Jim assured Spock was necessary for the mental wellbeing of a child.

Winona Kirk stared at the vulcan, and David opened his mouth to ‘translate’ for Spock. Spock raised an eyebrow in warning, and the boy quieted. At last, when the silence began to stretch into the uncomfortable territory, the commander broke out in laughter.

“God _damn_ , that boy was right, you have an _awesome_ way of speaking. No, don’t worry Mister Spock, I’m not mad. It’s good to see that you care about Davey as much as you do Jim. He’s a good boy, even if he does try to worm his way out of school.” She mock-glared at David. The child just grinned up at her, undaunted.

“Commander?” Spock was puzzled by her abrupt change of mood.

“Winona, please, Spock. If you’re Jim’s friend, you might as well call me by my name.”

“Commander Winona, I am confused. You are not upset that I have kept David from school?”

Winona laughed again, and David squirmed to be put down. When she complied, he ran to Spock, reaching up and taking his hand.

“No, Spock, I’m not mad. Most people would have just dumped Davey at that daycare center all day, not caring how he felt about this whole thing. I’m glad Len left the kid with you, Jimmy’ll feel better knowing you’re taking care of his son.”

“I see. Thank you. However, your comment implies that you expect me to continue to be David’s guardian while Jim is gone. I had assumed you would be taking care of him once you arrived. Is this not ,” the case?” Spock was curious- he would have thought Winona would take David away now, keeping him with her until Jim returned.

“Oh, I’ll take care of Davey, but he’s attached to you now, and if I know my boys, he’ll feel a lot better with you around while we wait,” Winona glanced pointedly at where David was now swinging Spock’s arm. “Plus, you know where Jimmy’s apartment is.”

“Yay!!” David cried, letting go of Spock’s hand to wrap his arms around the vulcan. “You can stay with us!”

And that was how Spock came to stay in Jim’s apartment with his mother and son. Their routine changed a little- when Spock went to work, Winona stayed in the home with David. The seemed to spend much of their time cooking, David’s schoolwork going unattended despite the importance Winona seemed to place on education. When Spock returned in the evenings, he would sit with David and help with the boy’s homework, looking up every time the comm rang. Thus it went for a little over a week, before news finally reached them.

It came in the form of a short message sent to Spock’s padd from Doctor McCoy- “We’ve got Jim. We’re coming home.”

Spock raced back to the apartment with the message, relief a giddy feeling in his mind. “Davey, Commander Winona,” he called as he entered. They looked up, expectant. “They have found him. Doctor McCoy sent me a message. They are on their way home.” He felt lighter than he had in days, and it took far more effort than normal to stop a smile from breaking out on his face. It didn’t matter that he did not know what condition Jim was in, or what had happened. At this point, all that mattered was that his friend was coming home to his son. And to Spock.

 

They met the rescue party in the shuttle bay, ten hours later. A sleepy David rested his head on Spock’s shoulder, watching as the team climbed out of the small craft that had brought them from the ship in orbit. Jim was brought out last, escorted on a stretcher by Doctor McCoy and the rest of the medical team. The other members of the away team were either dead, or in need of only minor medical treatment. Jim, however, was in bad shape. Spock would later learn that he had taken blows meant for the others, focusing the enemy’s attention on him so his teammates would survive. He was awake though, looking around as he came off the shuttle- a sign that Spock took as encouraging.

Doctor McCoy stopped the stretcher as he and Jim passed Spock, David and Winona. Jim, looking weak and exhausted, simply smiled at them, reaching out his hands. Spock placed David on the bed after McCoy nodded permission, and the boy promptly curled up next to his father and fell asleep. Jim held him close with one arm, the other he continued to hold out until Spock took his hand. Jim radiated contentment through the contact, exhaustion coloring his thoughts and emotions. Clearly, though, Spock was able to make out two thoughts- his own name, and ‘thank you’. He felt the corners of his lips lift against his will, and Jim squeezed his hand. He didn’t let go until they reached medical, where he was injected with painkillers that made him fall asleep. Instead of returning to his own apartment, Spock watched the two on the bed, and made a decision that was, for the first time, wholly based on his emotions. He pulled up a chair, and watched over Jim and David as they slept, profoundly grateful that that Jim had returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There won't be an update next week- I'm going on vacation, and probably won't have internet. I'll post the new chapter on Thursday, April 4th.


	8. From the Mouth of Babes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Davey understands more than Spock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, got it in just under the wire... thankfully, I'm over whatever writer's block was hitting me so badly last chapter, and this one turned out halfway decent. Thank you to everyone who commented, I love hearing from you, and your feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Spock was still waiting by Jim’s side when he woke up. While he couldn’t justify the logic of staying with him once he was certain his friend would be alright, the vulcan also couldn’t bring himself to leave. He had retrieved a padd and returned to work, while Winona curled up in a chair on the other side of Jim’s bed and dozed off, after bringing a bag of things for Jim and David from the apartment. David himself slept curled up next to his father, head pillowed on the only uninjured part of his chest.

For some time, the only sound was the snores of the sleeping family and the beeping of the monitors. Jim was hooked up to several different machines, though Doctor McCoy assured Spock he would recover completely in time. The broken ribs and leg were the worst injuries, but what he needed most now was sleep. The medical staff had tried to get Spock and David to leave shortly after Jim was settled, but for some reason the doctor had seen fit to let them remain. When Spock had asked, he had just responded with “The kid’s goanna want his family here when he wakes up, and for some reason he’s decided that means you too.”

The statement had confused Spock. While he had grown to care for the lieutenant and his son in the six months they had known each other, it seemed an extremely short time to generate that sort of attachment. It was not as if much of note had happened, they had simply spent time together. And yet, Spock could not deny that he would rather be with Jim than anyone else. It was incredibly un-vulcan of him, but he would call Jim a friend.

Something, he was unsure of what, roused Spock from his contemplations. He glanced up from the padd in his lap, gaze traveling instinctively to David, a habit he had developed over the past two weeks. From the boy, his eyes traveled up Jim’s body, up to his face, where he found blue eyes regarding him with some unnamed emotion.

“Hi,” Jim said with a smile, keeping his voice low to avoid waking his mother or son.

“Good morning, Jim.” Spock, likewise, took care to whisper. And morning it was, soft light filtered in through the small window.

“How long was I out?” Jim’s hand started stroking David’s hair, perhaps reassuring himself through touch that his son was at his side.

“Six point three-five hours. It is currently 07:28. Doctor McCoy has been in three times in the past two hours to check on you, and I suspect he is sleeping in the room next door.”

“Haha, yeah, that’s Bones for you. How long have you been here?”

“I have not left since you fell asleep last night. Your mother briefly returned to your apartment to gather some things for you and David, but otherwise she has been here as well. David has not left your side, despite waking up several times during the night.” Spock assumed Jim would want the information- it was important, as the Doctor had said, for Jim to know his family was with him.

“That’s Mom for you. She been driving you crazy while I was gone?”

“There has been no danger of me losing my sanity because of your mother, Jim.”

Jim laughed, as Spock had expected. “That’s good.” He sighed, letting his head sink into the pillow behind him. He appeared exhausted, despite having slept for over six hours. Dark shadows remained beneath his eyes, and his face was pale. “That’s good.”

“Jim, you should return to sleep,” Spock said, watching the hand that was stroking David’s hair still, coming to rest on the boy’s shoulder.

“Spock…” Jim was looking at him through partially closed eyes, his expression once again something unreadable.

“Yes, Jim?”

“Thanks.”

 

Spock remained with Jim until he woke again, later in the morning. His repressed emotions begged him to stay longer, to wait until he was absolutely certain that Jim would recover completely, but he could not justify sitting by his bedside when there was work to be done. Promising to return when work was over, he left Jim with Winona and David. His one concession to the nagging worry that would not go away – despite the logic that said Jim would be fine, in time – was to ask Winona to comm him if anything were to happen.

Once he was back at work, Spock was able to push the emotions down, back to where he could safely ignore them. His father, were they still on speaking terms, would be proud of his control. The feelings that Jim brought to the surface… it made no sense. They had known each other barely six months. Six months of nothing entirely remarkable happening. And yet…

Somehow, without Spock noticing, the mundane every-day things he did had slowly become mundane every-day things he did with Jim. Things like meals together, sharing projects, attending lectures, they were all things he now things he did with Jim. They had fallen into a routine together, without Spock noticing. The chess games, for instance, were something he simply expected every time Jim visited his office. It had been… disconcerting to enter his workplace every morning these past two weeks and not see a new move on the chess board.

Jim was his friend. It was a fact that would make any full-blooded vulcan ashamed to admit- he felt friendship towards the human. But Spock was half-human, and his mother smiled with pride and pleasure whenever he spoke to her about Jim. This relationship between them had developed quickly, faster than Spock would have thought possible, but that didn’t change the facts. Spock just did not understand how. How had this one man, with his bright blue eyes and supernova smile worked his way into Spock’s heart, when no other had managed to do so? It turned out, David provided Spock the answer, and it was one that he had not expected.

 

The discussion started that night, while Winona was sitting with Jim in the hospital. Spock had returned to visit his friend after work, but had been persuaded to take David back to the apartment for sleep. Jim was concerned his son wasn’t getting enough rest, being constantly woken up by nurses and doctors coming in and out of the room. Since, between the two of them, Winona Kirk was the only one legally allowed to be there, it made sense for Spock to be the one to leave with David. Winona had promised, however, to return to the apartment once visiting hours were up.

“Spock?” David asked, catching Spock’s hand as the vulcan tucked him into bed.

“Yes, David?”

“Does Daddy know you love him?”

That was a question Spock had not been expecting. “I do not understand.”

David frowned at him, his frustration bleeding through the contact between them. He patted the bed, looking at Spock expectantly. Spock knelt down to be on eye level with the boy. “You love Daddy. But I don’t think he knows. Gramma asked him why you were staying around so much, and he said you were a good friend. Gramma laughed at him. _She_ knows you love him. So why doesn’t Daddy?”

Spock… had no answer. The idea that he was in love with Jim… and yet, it wasn’t all that unbelievable. Jim was his friend, his only friend. But the definition of friend was “one attached to another by affection or esteem.” By that meaning, Captain Pike, whose company Spock enjoyed even outside of work, was also a friend. And while the definition did fit what Jim was to him, it was not all that the man meant to Spock.

Love, though. Love was “attraction based on sexual desire.” Did he feel that way about Jim? He did admit that Jim was extremely aesthetically pleasing, and, should Spock have a choice of sexual partners, of all the people he knew, Jim would be the one he would choose. So, yes, he did harbor sexual desire for Jim, but that wasn’t important. He was not yet of an age where sex would impact his life- pon farr might not even be an issue with him, and unlike humans, he felt no need to act on desire.

But love was also “an unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.” And that, well. That was exactly what he felt for Jim. He wanted what was best for Jim, and would do anything within his power to make it happen. Hadn’t he just spent two weeks looking after David, despite the illogic of doing so when another, more capable guardian was around, simply because he knew it would please Jim? Not that he didn’t care for David as well. In a way, “unselfish loyal and benevolent concern” was also what he felt for the boy, though in a different way than what he felt for Jim.

And love was also a “profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” Spock examined his emotions, the feelings he had whenever he saw Jim, the way his heart seemed to swell whenever Jim smiled at him, the way his favorite sound in the world had suddenly become Jim’s laugh, the way he felt whenever he watched Jim concentrating on something. It was… tender. And passion? Passion was running across the campus with the news of his return. It was the fire of anger in his heart whenever he thought of someone hurting Jim. It was the overwhelming need to do _something_ to bring him home safely. Yes, passion was definitely part of what he felt for Jim.

David was still watching him, large blue eyes examining his face. He couldn’t feel the turmoil his words had caused in Spock. Love. Vulcans did not love, it was not logical. And yet, there were legends. T’hy’la. And did he not love his mother? Spock, at least, was capable of love. Whether or not it was because he was half human, or for some other reason… perhaps he should call his mother, and ask her.

“Spock?”

“My apologies. I was simply pondering how to respond to your question. Your father does not know that I have emotions for him because I have not yet told him of them.”

“Oh.” David smiled, understanding. “Then, can I tell him?”

“No.” The word sounded harsh, and David flinched back, letting go of Spock’s hand. “No,” Spock said again, softer this time, trying to mend the damage. “It is best he does not know.”

“Why?” The child asked that question all the time, Spock had encountered it numerous times in the past six months. And yet, at this moment, it was the most difficult question to answer.

“Because,” Spock eventually settled on, “he does not regard me in the same way, and it would be illogical to endanger our friendship because of it.”

“Ooh.” David nodded, knowingly. “But what if he does?”

Spock considered the idea, and dismissed it. Jim Kirk could choose anyone in Starfleet as a partner, and they would be lucky to have him. Why would he ever feel romantic attachment to Spock, who was incapable of showing the same level of affection humans needed in a relationship?

“I do not believe that to be the case.”

David looked disappointed. “But what if it is?” he insisted.

“It is not.”

“Oh.” The boy turned his head away, but not before Spock saw the tears forming in his eyes. He let go of Spock’s hand, leaving the echo of sadness behind. It was too close to what Spock himself was feeling, and he violently shoved the emotion down. However, he could not leave David like that. Perhaps, if he reassured the boy that nothing was going to change, he would feel a little better about it.

“Do not worry,” he told him, “I will not leave you or your father because of this. I find I care a great deal for you both, and it does not matter whether or not your father feels the same way I do, I know values me as a friend.” These were not words he would have ever spoken aloud, save that he knew David needed to hear them. He would not let David be hurt the way he had been, when he realized his father had married his mother out of logic.

David looked back up at him, eyes wet. Then he threw his arms around him. “Don’t worry Spock, _I_ love you. And Daddy does too, even if he doesn’t know it yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same time, same place next week! Also, feel free to go check out my companion piece to this story- The Jim and Davey Diaries. (Or, why Alice shouldn't be left to her own devices on an eight hour car ride.)


	9. Call Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock calls his mother for advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Spock has a great relationship with his mother, which makes that part of the movie all the more heartbreaking when she dies. Fortunately, this is set pre-movie, so we have the chance to see them together.

Spock waited three days to call his mother. In those three days, Jim was released from the hospital with his leg in a cast and strict instructions to manage the healing of his ribs. Doctor McCoy and Winona traded off staying with Jim, insisting he rest or take the pain medication the doctor had prescribed. Spock returned to his own apartment, which felt oddly empty after two weeks living in near constant company with David. He didn’t spend much time there however, Jim or David demanding his presence whenever he wasn’t working. He had begun keeping several important objects, such as his padds and work-related materials in the apartment while looking after David, and so far had seen no reason to move them back to his own building.

Also during those three days, Spock had ample time to consider his own emotions. It was an uncomfortable experience, battling shame and stigma conditioned in him since childhood to examine the way he felt. Friendship alone would be shameful, and he knew his father would be extremely disappointed in him for even thinking of admitting to it. Love was even worse. And yet, he did not shrink from admitting that he loved his mother. Not to himself at least. Loving Jim should be no different. He would be alright so long as he never spoke of it. It was obviously his human half exerting itself over his vulcan side, but he could still appear to be fully vulcan by ignoring it. His fondness for David as well was something he would not admit to another, though he believed that the boy, at least, saw through his façade of indifference.

Still, he could not help but think that he was wrong, that feeling any sort of emotion for the pair was something to be ashamed of. And it confused him when he considered that Jim and David seemed to prefer his company over that of others. Jim seemed to take comfort in his presence, and David would run to him when he entered their home. But he was vulcan, not capable of the emotional shows of attachment that humans seemed to require. It was not entirely logical that such open and emotional people would want Spock in their lives. It was, then, to Spock’s benefit that Jim and David did not seem to operate by the rules of logic.

The turmoil inside of him made no appearance on the outside, remaining behind the cool, logical, emotionless façade. Of that, Spock was justifiably proud. However, it was only once he was certain of his control that he placed the call to his mother. Though she would not judge him for his emotions, Spock still did not wish to show her anything less than the prefect vulcan son.

When Amanda answered his call, something tightly coiled inside Spock relaxed. She was, as always, happy to see him, her smile warm and comforting. They exchanged pleasantries, and spoke about their respective daily lives. It reminded Spock of when he was younger, sitting with his mother in the kitchen after school, talking about everything. She was the one person he could always be himself around, even when ‘himself’ was something contrary to his culture’s expectations.

Eventually, she sighed, and gave him a familiar, slightly frustrated smile. “Spock, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Spock was not surprised. She had always been able to tell when he was upset. “It is… hard to explain.”

“Let me guess. It has to do with Jim?” This time, Spock _was_ surprised. How had she known?

“Mother?”

“Oh, don’t act so shocked. It’s pretty easy to see. These past few months, all our conversations have somehow revolved around Jim and David. Tonight though, aside from mentioning you’ve been taking care of Davey, you’ve hardly spoken of them. Something’s up. Is Jim alright?”

That question brought up all the emotions he had been fighting so hard to keep down. The story spilled from his lips with hardly any interruptions from his mother. She stopped him, though, when he got to the part where he, David, and Winona went to meet Jim at the shuttle.

“Wait, you said Doctor McCoy rescued him? How badly was he hurt?”

“Nothing lasting. He has three broken ribs and a fractured leg, as well as several internal injuries that the doctor repaired.”

“And you stayed with him when he was in the hospital?”

“It was logical that I stay as someone needed to watch David, and Commander Kirk was obviously exhausted. As Jim was in no shape to take care of his son himself, I took it upon myself to do so.”

“And the next day?”

“I went to work.”

Somehow, Spock’s mother looked disappointed. “Oh. Have you seen him since then?”

“I returned that afternoon, and the next, as Jim was being discharged. He and David have both asked me to spend my free time with them in the evenings, I assume until Jim is recovered. As I have nothing else to do, I accepted.”

Amanda smiled. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” She must know that Spock was not being entirely truthful. There were many things he could have done with his time in the evenings, experiments, research, papers he could write. Many of these things he could do, less efficiently, in Jim’s apartment, but many of them would require lab time. Six months ago, Spock would have chosen the most ambitious of these projects, and locked himself away in the labs during all his unoccupied hours. “So, that’s not what’s bothering you. What is?”

“When I took David home the night after Jim returned, he asked me why Jim does not know I love him.”

“Oh, Spock,” she reached out, as if to take his hand, before remembering they were separated by light years. “What did you tell him?”

“I said that I had not told him because he does not feel the same way.”

Amanda nodded, “And at the same time, you were wrestling with your own emotions. I assume that this was the first time you thought about what you feel for Jim?” Spock was once again surprised- she did not ask if he loved Jim, but took for granted that he did.

“How did you know?” he asked, curiosity winning out over the impulse to pretend he felt no emotion. He could never lie to his mother, anyway.

“Sweetie, it’s obvious. If I wanted to be sneaky, I could say it was a mother’s intuition, but that’s not entirely true. The way you light up when you talk about him, how you’ve restructured your life to include him and David, how you’ve spoken about them both so much I feel as if I know them. These were all clues.”

“But Mother, if you knew-“

“Why didn’t I tell you? There are some things you have to figure out on your own, Spock. This was one of them.” Amanda was watching him in the way she did when she was worried about him. “Are you going to be alright?”

The question threw him for a moment. Why should she worry about him being alright? “I am fine.”

“Fine has variable definitions,” she teased him, reminding him of his own words from years ago.

“Then I will rephrase. I am physically uninjured.”

“That is not what I asked, Spock.”

Spock knew. But he was not sure how to answer her. “I-“ he hesitated, trying to find the words.

“You think that you can’t let yourself love, if you’re a true vulcan. Is that right?” His mother always knew what troubled him. This time, she was able to voice what he was feeling while he still couldn’t find the words for it.

“I find that… harder than I once believed it could be.”

“Oh Spock,” she gave him a sad smile, leaning in towards the screen as if to be more physically near him. “You still have a lot to learn about your people. There is a reason why your father allowed me to step in when he considered bonding you to T’Pring. You remember that, don’t you? While you were compatible enough to form a bond, it was clear, to me at least, that you would not make a very good couple. And I want you to love the person you’re with.”

“Love is a human emotion, Mother,” Spock protested. It was true, he had not _liked_ T’Pring. While, over the years of acquaintance, they had developed a grudging respect for each other, the bond his parents had hoped they would develop had not occurred.

“And I am human, and your mother. Oh, I know you want to be a good vulcan, Spock, but that doesn’t mean denying half of who you are. And I’ll let you in on a little secret. Full vulcans love too. Your father, logical as he is, loves me.” Amanda did not seem angered by his rejection of his humanity, only saddened that he chose to deny half of himself. It was an old discussion, one had many times as he struggled to remain entirely vulcan while living among other species.

“Mother,” Spock didn’t want to hurt her, but he remembered his father’s words from his childhood. ‘I married your mother because it was logical.’

“I know,” she sighed, “you don’t think so. But you’re not the one inside his head all the time.”

“Father told me he married you because of logic.”

“Logic, yes, I suppose it was logical. He was the ambassador to Earth, and I am one of its citizens. But it was also love. If he was choosing only out of logic, why me? Why Amanda Greyson, out of all the humans on the planet?”

“Perhaps because you were the one willing to give up your life for him?” Spock suggested, hating the idea.

“Do you really believe that?” Amanda asked him, and Spock took a second to examine his beliefs. He thought of his father’s words, that day in the school. Of the open and honest emotions he saw in other humans, that his mother subdued for his father, the life he asked her to give up. But also, of the pride in his eyes, when Spock rejected the acceptance to the Vulcan Science Academy because of their dismissal of his mother. The way, when no one else was around, he would take her hand in his. How, sometimes, for no discernable reason, he would offer his fingers for a kiss.

“Oh.” The pieces of the puzzle clicked into place.

“Sarek loves me, Spock. Just as I love him. Vulcans may refrain from showing their emotions, but you and I both know that they feel them, maybe even stronger than humans.”

“I see. Thank you, Mother.” He would need to consider this more. But perhaps, his feelings for Jim were not such a bad thing, after all.

“So, are you going to tell him now?” Amanda wanted to know.

“There is still the matter of what I told David. I do not believe Jim feels the same way about me.” His mother frowned, trying to find an answer to make him feel better, perhaps.

“What did David say after that?”

“He said “do not worry, Spock, I love you, and so does Daddy, even though he doesn’t know it yet.” I believe that to be wishful thinking, David is too young to understand romantic intent.”

“I don’t know. Kids can be pretty perceptive.” Amanda said. She paused, thinking in the comfortable silence between them. “Maybe… maybe he just needs some time. It seems, from what you’ve told me, he had a pretty hard life as a kid, and that’s just what we know about. Maybe he has even more trouble recognizing love than you did.”

Spock wasn’t so sure. “He has also never shown any inclination for romantic engagement, though David is proof that he has had intercourse with at least one woman.”

“And that ended badly, or she would be here with him. Just because he doesn’t take an active interest doesn’t mean he doesn’t want someone. Maybe he thinks you don’t want him.”

“That could be the case,” Spock admitted. He knew very little about David’s mother. Jim refused to talk about her. “However, I do not believe so.”

“I bet he thinks you think homosexual relationships are illogical,” Amanda pointed out. “Since it’s not got any reproductive possibilities. But he doesn’t know about the t’hy’la, or much at all about pre-Surak Vulcan. You should let him know, compatibility of the minds is more important than gender.”

“You believe I should tell him this?” Spock wasn’t sure what to think. His people valued their privacy, and some things were not discussed with outsiders. And yet, if Jim were his t’hy’la, that would be no problem. By virtue of a relationship with Spock, he would be granted access to Spock’s own knowledge.

“Well, you don’t have to tell him everything. Just let him know you don’t think two men being in a romantic relationship is illogical. I bet that’ll get him thinking, if he hasn’t yet.” His mother seemed certain of her statement, convinced of the possibility that Jim loved Spock, though she had never met the man.

“Perhaps I shall,” Spock said, giving in to the temptation of belief- belief that, someday, Jim would love him too.

“Good.” Amanda nodded. “Because anybody that goes as far out of his way as you’ve said he has for you has got to love you. And there’s no reason why he shouldn’t. But maybe I’m biased, because you’re my baby.”

“Mother-“ She rarely still referred to him as her ‘baby’, after he had pointed out the illogic of calling a grown man ‘baby’.

“I know, don’t call you ‘baby’.” She rolled her eyes at him, in an approximation of an annoyed human teenager. “’I’m not a baby’ and all that.” She paused, her expression once more turning serious. “Are you okay now, though? Anything else bothering you?”

“There is nothing else, though I appreciate your concern.” Spock had a lot to think about, but, as he always did after talking with his mother, he felt a great deal better.

“Good. You know you can always call me for advice, right?”

“I do.” His mother was always there, no matter what he needed. “I will let you know, if anything further happens with Jim.”

“You’d better. Or else I’ll just have to come down there and visit you. And you never know what I’ll say to Jim if that happens.” The threat was an idle one, though he did wish she would come visit. Even if she did, she wouldn’t expose his secrets, not unless he asked her to. Still, he had a feeling she would like Jim, and that Jim would like her. They were quite alike in many ways, both adventurous, full of mischief, and highly intelligent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you're enjoying reading the story as much as I am writing it. Next week will be pure fluff as Spock and Jim celebrate Davey's birthday. Between now and then, expect some updates to TJaDD, I'm going to try and get it to catch up to David within the next few weeks.


	10. Family Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Jim take Davey to Disneyland for his birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was a week late. I got into a car accident, and while I had things written last week they are pretty much unintelligible. I should be back on the regular schedule of every thursday after this though! Thank you for your patience, and, as always, thank you so very much for reading. I hope you enjoy!

On the day of David’s fifth birthday, Spock was greeted by a disheveled Jim when he reached the Kirk apartment. His friend’s hair was sticking up all over the place and a white smear of sunscreen showed where he had tried to apply the protectant to his face. David was sitting in the middle of the living room, wrapping paper strewn about the floor around him. Spock was gratified to see that, despite several new stuffed animals, David had Tribble tucked firmly under his arm as he played with two toy dinosaurs.

“Sorry Spock, we got a little behind. Davey wanted to take his time opening his presents.” Jim stepped back, letting Spock into the apartment. “I’ve just got a few more things to throw in my backpack, and we’ll be ready to go.”

“Let’s go!!” David piped up from the floor, waving the stegosaurus at Spock. Jim shook his head, disappearing into the kitchen. David watched Spock, who stood by the door, unsure of what to do.

“Wanna come play dinosaurs?” the boy asked, holding out a doll fashioned after a tyrannosaurus. “Steggy and Tyrant just found a new world, and they’re naming it ‘this land’. But Steggy doesn’t know that Tyrant is getting ready to betray him.”

“I see.” Spock knelt down beside him. “Then perhaps Steggy would benefit from my birthday present to you.” He produced a small package he had hidden behind his back when he knocked on the door, surprising David, who squealed with glee. The child grabbed it from his hands, tearing into the paper and littering more bits of wrapping on the floor. Jim returned to the room just in time to see his son reveal a prefect replica of a standard Starfleet-issued phaser, sized for a child’s hands.

“Wow, Spock,” Jim whistled as a stunned David held up the toy.

“ _Thank you_!” David cried, dropping the dinosaurs and throwing his arms around Spock, still clutching the toy.

“How’d you know that’s what he wanted?” Jim asked.

“While David was staying with me he expressed interest in my phaser. It seemed practical to get him one of his own that would not be dangerous for him to play with,” Spock explained, returning the child’s hug. Hugging David always reminded him of his mother, how she had hugged him when he was that young. Not that David hugged him often, Spock presumed that Jim had spoken with the boy about vulcans and ‘personal space’.

“Well, you just made his week. It’s goanna be hard to get him to leave it behind so we can go in the park.”

“I gotta leave it home?” David asked, looking up at Jim in dismay.

“Sorry kiddo, they don’t let weapons in the park.”

“It’s not a weapon. Right, Spock? It’s a toy.”

“Very astute, David. You are right, it is not a working phaser. However, I believe Disneyland has a rule against toy weapons as well. You would not want to frighten anyone, would you?”

“Oh.” David looked down, examining his prized new toy. “Okay…”

“Tell you what,” Jim knelt down next to his son. “If you leave it here today, I’ll take you up in a shuttle next week when I get my cast off.” He gestured with the yellow cast on his arm, covered in childish drawings with a few good-will messages from other officers wedged in among David’s art.

“Really?” David brightened, grinning at his father. “I guess I can leave it here then.”

“Very good.” Jim ruffled his son’s hair. “Ready to go then?”

“Yeah!!” The boy jumped up, running to the door to get his shoes.

“Spock?” Jim still had the smudge of sunscreen on his nose. Illogically, Spock wanted to rub it in for him. He squashed that feeling quickly, he’d gotten used to doing that recently- admitting his attraction to Jim had brought a lot of emotions to the forefront of his mind. He was quite lucky his mother was there to give him advice, otherwise he might have simply removed himself from the cause of the emotions, and lost Jim and David in the process.

“I am ready, Jim.” Jim smiled, and for a moment their faces were uncomfortably close together. Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder as Jim used his body as a surface to lever himself up from the ground, and the moment was gone.

“Ouch. I tell ya, Spock, I’ll be glad when my ribs are finally better.” He winced, gently rubbing his side over the injured bones.

“Perhaps if you would refrain from moving quite so much,” Spock suggested, standing himself. Jim stuck his tongue out at him.

“Thanks _Bones_. I know what I’m supposed to do. It’s just boring.”

The name brought up a question- where _was_ Doctor McCoy? He was supposed to be coming with them today, but he did not appear to be in the apartment, unless he was still in one of the bedrooms. Spock decided to ask.

“He got called in, it looks like someone in engineering screwed up and started a fire last night. They’ve got it out now, but there were a lot of injuries. Bones said they needed all the doctors they could get to help take care of them. Lucky it’s summer, or a lot of cadets would have been there too.”

“I see.” It was unfortunate for the doctor, who had been looking forward to the day, but Spock found that he did not mind.

“Yup. So,” Jim slid the backpack on, walking over to the door where David was jumping up and down in impatience. “Ready?” he asked again.

“Of course.”

 

\--

 

As far as Spock knew, Disneyland had changed little in the two centuries since its creation. The rides differed slightly as more advanced technology became available, and new Disney characters were added to the park’s collection of costumed actors, but in its basic structure and premise, the place remained the same. The only major change had been the merging of ‘Tomorrowland’ with ‘Adventureland’ as the space ships and advanced technology featured there became less ‘tomorrow’ and more ‘today’.

This particular day, the park boasted a parade of ‘storm troopers’ from an ancient movie series, accompanied by an autograph session with actors portraying the main characters from the films. The temperature was what Jim called ‘too hot to live’, but Spock felt as pleasantly warm. The thermometer in Jim’s car read 103 degrees Fahrenheit, even after they had been driving for some time. It was also “prime tourist season” according to Jim, which meant that the park would be incredibly crowded.

Fortunately, it seemed that many people who had activities they would rather do indoors had decided to wait for the promised cooler weather later in the week, and it was not quite as bad as Jim had warned it might be. They got through security quickly, and then were off in a whirlwind of activities as David dragged them through the park.

The first place they went was the ‘Critter Country’, where David delighted in pulling Spock and Jim around to all the costumed animals. They road “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” three times before the boy got tired of it, and decided it was time to move on. Jim took David on a ride called Splash Mountain, while Spock waited for them at the exit- it seemed the ride involved quite a lot of physical contact with the persons sitting behind or in front of you in the boat. Jim had shrugged when David ran towards it, suggesting Spock watch the monitors to see their expressions when the ride’s camera took the souvenir picture. He was amused to find David clutching to Jim in apprehension and excitement, while Jim craned his neck to see the large drop before them. Spock purchased the picture, intending to get it framed. Many of his co-workers had pictures of their families on their desks. Spock found no reason why he could not have one of Jim and David. He would put it next to the picture of his mother.

After that, they went to Adventureland. Jim looked longingly at Space Mountain, but shook his head when Spock suggested they ride. “Too big for Davey,” he explained, smiling at his son. “Maybe next year.” Instead, they went to the rocket ships, a ride designed for small children.

“I wanna ride with Spock this time!” David demanded, grabbing Spock’s hand and tugging him towards the line.

“Spock?” Jim looked at him, letting him decide whether or not he would ride with the boy. Spock nodded, allowing David to lead him into line. When they reached the small ‘ships’, he could see Jim standing by the fence surrounding the ride, waving to them. David waved back before selecting a blue and red ship for them to climb into.

The ride started spinning slowly, not unlike a very sluggish centrifuge. Then, it started lifting them in the air. After piloting shuttles, it was very tame for Spock, but David whooped, raising his arms as they dipped and rose again. “Wheeeee! This is fun! We’re flying, aren’t we Spock?”

“Yes, David, we are. Are you the pilot of this vessel?” Spock wondered what the boy, who was now pretending to steer the ship, was imagining.

“No. I’m the captain. But sometimes I get to fly the ship, because the pilot’s lazy and doesn’t want to do his job. I don’t mind. Captains should be able to fly their ships.”

“I see. And I?”

“You’re my dependable first officer. And Daddy’s the admiral that sends us on all our missions. He likes to fly the faster ships, and he gets mad that you’re my first officer and not his.” David began painting Spock a detailed scenario, in which “Captain Davey Kirk” of the “USS Adventure” fought space pirates with his trusted “Mister Spock” and “Admiral Daddy.” By the end of the ride, he had them en-route to the edge of the galaxy, where they would find a new species of sentient creatures.

“I see he talked your ears off,” Jim said when he met them at the gates. David laughed.

“My ears are still attached to my head, Jim. I do not think it is possible to remove them just by talking.” Spock knew very well what the phrase meant, but he found Jim’s reaction pleasing when he pretended to be clueless about human customs.

“Come _on_ ,” David grabbed their hands again, pulling them to the next ride. They spent a large portion of the day in Adventureland, before moving on. David’s next favorite was Fantasyland, where they had a ride simulating a flight over the city of London and on into the mythical realm of ‘Neverland’. Jim and David explained the story of Peter Pan to Spock, who was reminded very much of Jim in the character of Peter. Not to say that Jim hadn’t grown up, or was irresponsible, but he still had such a fierce joy in life and an unending appreciation for play that Spock could well see him refusing to become an adult.

Later on in the day, as David was starting to get tired, they rode an attraction called the ‘Haunted Mansion,” all three of them squeezed into a car together. David squealed at each ‘frightening’ scene, pretending more than actually frightened. Spock knew this because of the grip David kept on his hand. He had barriers in place now to stop any accidental reading of David or Jim’s emotions, but the first time the boy screamed he had dropped them, just to be sure he wasn’t really afraid.

The trip ended with a ride on the monorail, David curled in Jim’s arms. He slept on his father’s shoulder as they walked out of the park, utterly exhausted from the day. In the car on the way back, Jim and Spock talked softly. It was strange how they could spend hours discussing nothing of very much importance, and leave the conversation feeling completely contented. Spock helped Jim put David to bed when they arrived, continuing their conversation from the car into the night. It was late when he finally returned to his own apartment, and he observed that he had spent the day doing nothing at all productive. He decided that that did not matter. Productive or not, this day would remain one of his happiest memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed this chapter, and it came at a prefect time where I needed a bit of a pick-me-up. The next story arc is a bit heavier, but never fear, I'll still include plenty of adorable moments with Jim and Spock and Davey!  
> See you next Thursday for more plot!


	11. Hauntings of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns about David's mother, and why Jim is raising David alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The warnings have changed for this story, please make sure you'll be okay before reading further. If the more serious story doesn't appeal to you, please feel free to come back for chapter 15, which will be all of the adorable and none of the sad.  
> As always, thank you so very much for reading!

“Dude, you have got to get over here and see this!”

The comm came through just as Spock was finishing his work for the day. Jim was audibly restraining himself from laughing, and in the background he could hear David shouting “NO!” at the top of his lungs while someone else emitted high-pitched giggles.

“Dammit Jim!” Doctor McCoy’s voice interrupted any explanation Jim may have been attempting to make. “Get over here and help me contain these little hellions!”

“Is everything alright, Jim?” Spock asked, already leaving his office. He assumed Jim was at his apartment, judging from the hour and McCoy’s presence.

“Yeah- haha- yeah. Just, come quick will you? Bones’ daughter came up for the weekend, and she _really_ likes Davey. This is too adorable to miss!”

“JIM!” The doctor sounded irritated, though Spock had begun to suspect that the man only used two tones of voice- ‘irritated’ and ‘intoxicated’.

“You’re on your own, Bones. She’s _your_ kid. Sorry, Spock. I’ve gotta go before this gets out of hand. Just come over, yeah?” Spock could hear the children’s voices getting louder as Jim neared them.

“I am on my way.”

“See you soon, then,” Jim said, and ended the call. Spock was left to ponder what the doctor’s daughter would be like. It was hard to predict, as, in Spock’s experience with the man, McCoy had never spoken about her. He knew, from Jim, that her name was Joanna, and she was eight years of age. Jim and David had gone home to Atlanta with McCoy the summer before, and had met her at that time. Jim had said Joanna was instantly taken with David, and it seemed that was still the same.

 

When Spock got to Jim’s apartment, he found his friend sitting on the front lawn, holding David in his lap and halfheartedly fending off the attempts of a blond female child to climb on him and reach his son. Doctor McCoy stood several feet away, laughing at them.

“No fair, Bones!” Jim called, glaring at his friend. “I helped you get her off him earlier!”

“After calling Spock. This is payback for the fifteen minutes I spent trying to pry her off him.” Jim stuck his tongue out at McCoy, who simply blinked before looking up and noticing their visitor. “And speak of the devil, here’s the pointy-eared hobgoblin himself.”

Spock!” Jim grinned at him, waving enthusiastically with the hand not blocking Joanna from jumping on him. “Glad you could make it!”

“Of course. I had no other plans for tonight.” Jim knew that, they had talked about it the night before, when he had told Spock about Joanna’s visit. Nevertheless, his grin widened at Spock’s words.

“Good. Now, will you come down here and help me out? I- oof,” Jim grunted as a small elbow impacted with his face. Joanna had taken his momentary distraction as opportunity to attempt to jump over Jim’s arm. Unfortunately, she had misjudged her ability to jump that high, and ended up landing on top of him. David squeaked and scrambled backwards, off his father’s lap and away from the girl.

“Don’t help him, Spock. He left me alone with these two for an hour. They could have killed me!” McCoy made no move to approach Jim, who was now trying to keep Joanna in his lap while David ran and hid behind a bench. Joanna, for her part, squealed with laughter, demanding ‘Uncle Jimmy’ let her go.

“Come on, Spock! You’ve never know pain until you’re tackled by an eight-year-old girl! You gotta help me!”

“I believe I shall defer to the doctor’s knowledge in this instance,” Spock said, with a nod to McCoy. “He has knowledge of your actions today that I do not, therefore he is in a better position to judge what is or is not fitting punishment.”

“Spock!” Jim whined, looking between the vulcan and the doctor. McCoy, for his part, was starting at Spock with something akin to astonishment.

“Did you just tease him?” he asked. “No, wait. I don’t want to know. I’m comfortable not knowing.”

Spock opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment Joanna broke loose from Jim’s arms, running for David with impressive speed. The boy screamed, diving from behind the bench to avoid her. Despite being several inches shorter than her, David was equally fast, running in an arc away from the bench and around to come to a rest behind Spock’s legs.

“Pr’tect me, Spock!” David demanded, tugging on Spock’s arm. “I want up!”

Obediently, Spock picked up the boy, just in time for Joanna to run straight into his legs. She jumped again, reaching for David, but in Spock’s arms he was too high for her to reach.

“Come down here David Kirk!” She demanded. “I still haven’t gotten to give you a proper hello!”

“That’s ‘cause you wanna kiss me,” David said, making a face.

“Boys have to give a kiss to a lady when they meet. It’s polite,” Joanna informed him. Jim and McCoy both broke out laughing at that.

“You ain’t a lady!” David insisted. “You’re just eight.”

“Okay kids, that’s enough,” McCoy broke in, before Joanna came up with a comeback. “Let’s go get dinner.”

The thought of food was enough to distract the children for the time being, and Joanna willingly followed her father inside. Jim stood up, coming over to Spock.

“See? Aren’t they adorable?”

“Are not!” David said, glaring.

“I understand why you wished for me to see them interact,” Spock told Jim as they entered the apartment building. Jim smiled, and walked closer beside him than was considered normal in human interaction. Spock told himself it was illogical to read anything into that, since Jim did quite a few things that would not be considered the norm in human society.

 

 

Later that night, after the children had been put to bed and Doctor McCoy had left for his shift, Spock and Jim sat on the couch and talked while doing small tasks. It was easy conversation, coming in between silence as each concentrated on their respective projects. The comfortable companionship was broken only when Jim’s comm had beeped, signaling a message. He had glared at the device, pushing the delete icon harder than was necessary, before turning back to Spock. “I’m off duty,” he explained. “They can catch me tomorrow if they really need something.”

“I see.” Spock nodded, though he had previously seen Jim take all kinds of work related calls and messages while technically off duty. The comm signaled several more times that night, but Jim replied to only one. It was after this that Spock finally decided to ask the question that had been nagging at him for some time.

“Jim,” he began, “I have a query.”

“Shoot.”

“I do not intend to discharge my weapon at this time,” Spock said, waiting for Jim’s reaction. Jim laughed.

“I didn’t think you would. It’s a human expression, Spock. Means go ahead.”

“I see. I am hesitant, however. I do not know if such a question is appropriate.”

Jim put down his padd, giving Spock his full attention. “Not much you can say is goanna offend me, Spock. I thought you knew that already.”

“It is about David’s mother.”

“Ah.” Spock studied Jim’s face. The lieutenant looked down, examining his hands. “I was wondering when you would ask. What do you want to know?”

“I have known you eight months now, and in that time neither you nor David have ever mentioned his other genetic contributor.  I had believed that it was human custom, however Doctor McCoy is still a large presence in Joanna’s life, despite living thousands of miles apart.”

“And you want to know where Davey’s mom is. That’s…” Jim ran a hand through his hair distractedly, leaving it sticking up awkwardly in places. “That’s a long story.”

“I apologize, I did not mean to bring up bad memories.” Spock was concerned. He had never seen this particular expression on Jim’s face. He wasn’t certain what it meant.

“No, no, it’s fine. Actually, I was expecting you to ask before now. I can’t believe you weren’t curious.” Jim gave him a smile, but it wasn’t genuine- it was his ‘everything-is-fine’ smile, and it felt forced.

“I was, however it is not my business. I should not have brought it up.”

“No, really. I don’t mind you asking. It’s just a lot of bad memories.” Jim shifted, picking up his padd and setting it back down. “David…. He doesn’t know any of this. As far as he knows, it’s always been him and me. He’s never asked about his mother, and I try damn hard to make sure I’m enough so he doesn’t notice her absence in his life. I’ll tell him when he’s older, when he can understand.”

Spock remained silent, watching Jim.

“It’s not like she’s dead or anything. Although, I suppose it’s possible. I haven’t spoken to her in years. The last I heard, she was off-planet with some sort of research company.

“Her name is Carol. Carol Marcus. She and I were both involved in an advanced college program in Des Moines, which is where we met.” Jim laughed, “We were the most unlikely pair. I was the school delinquent, the bad boy who would never amount to anything. She was top of our class, a biology major, looking to run some prestigious lab or something when we graduated. I couldn’t quite believe she actually wanted to be with me. Man was she beautiful, and so fucking smart. She wanted me to be more than I was, actually got me to concentrate on my classwork for a change. I still had a rap sheet a mile long, but she didn’t care about that- only about what I could be. She had this dream- me and her, out on some colony doing research together. She’d be lead scientist on the project, and I would run the security team.”

“Was that what you wanted?” Spock asked, when Jim paused. The man shook his head.

“No. But that didn’t matter. I didn’t really know what I wanted, so I figured her dream was as good as any. Like I said, I was the ‘bad boy’. I knew how to jack cars and hack secure systems. I’d spent most of my teenage years spending my free time getting into places I wasn’t supposed to be. Well, that or getting into fights. I liked it, the adrenalin rush of knowing some guy was going to kill me if I didn’t get him first. The joy of cracking a system that was supposed to be uncrackable. The feeling of just doing something I wasn’t supposed to. I was seven kinds of fucked up, but Carol didn’t really care about that. At least, not at first.

“We dated for a few months, off and on. For the first time, I was more serious about a relationship than the girl I was dating. I thought I loved her. I didn’t even think about sleeping with another girl while we were together. It was… good. We were happy, or so I thought.

“Then, one day, she just leaves. Packs up, takes a leave of absence from school, not a word to anybody. I didn’t even know she was gone until that night, when I couldn’t find her. She didn’t answer my calls, but I knew she was ok- one of the girls from her dorm got through to her, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. My friends told me to forget it, she probably just got an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. We all knew she cared more about her career than anything else, even me. But I didn’t buy it. If that had been the case, she’d have been telling it all over campus before leaving, not sneaking out in the dead of night.

“So I did what I do best- I hacked the system. There wasn’t anything official in her school records, just a request for a nine month leave of absence- medical reasons. So I hacked her medical file. It showed that she’d visited the school clinic the day before she left, but nothing else, just a referral to a doctor in her home town. Apparently he was a specialist, but it didn’t say what kind. After that, I got real worried. What if she was sick? What if she was dying? I needed to talk to her, to find out. And since she wasn’t answering any of my calls, that meant going to see her in person. So I picked her address out of her files and bought the next shuttle ticket out.

“When I got to her house, her mother answered the door. Ms. Marcus was a nice lady, and I always thought she liked me, but when she saw me that day, well, I’ve seen people look less pleased to see me, but that’s normally when one or both of us are pointing a gun. I thought she was goanna close the door on me, but I begged her to let me in, to see Carol. I just wanted to know she was alright.

“She asked me what I meant. I told her Carol had just up and left, I didn’t know why, but I thought she might be sick and I wanted to be there for her. I think Ms. Marcus knew that was a big deal for me, I’d never cared that much about any of my girlfriends before. So she let me in, but said it wasn’t what I thought. She wouldn’t tell me anything else.

“So I made my way back to Carol’s room. The door was open, and she was sitting on her bed, reading. She was wearing loose fitting clothing, which was odd- she had a great body, and she knew it. She liked to show it off. But this time, she was in an old pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. When she realized I was there, she freaked. Told me I shouldn’t have come. That she didn’t want me around, wanted me out of her life. We fought. I didn’t understand what was going on, the last time I had seen her she’d been feeling a little sick but nothing else seemed wrong. She tried to kick me out.

“I don’t know what changed her mind. It’s pretty clear she hadn’t wanted to tell me what was going on. But when she saw she couldn’t make me leave without at least telling me something, she just kind of… deflated. She pulled the shirt tight against her abdomen, and just kind of looked at me. I didn’t get it. Sure, it looked like she had put on a little weight, but that wasn’t any reason for her to leave me. Then she showed me the padd she’d been reading. Well, more like threw it at my head, but I saw what was on it- a book on pregnancy. That was when I got it.”

“She was having your child,” Spock prompted, when it looked like Jim wasn’t inclined to go on.

“Yeah. She was. And when I realized that...”

“You offered to take care of the child on your own.” That made sense, it was clear Jim valued his family, and unclear whether or not Carol Marcus had spared more than a thought for hers.

“No.” Jim shook his head.

“No?”

“Not right away, at least. I-“ Jim looked down, studying his hands. “I ran. I tried to go back home, to Riverside, where I grew up, but there weren’t any more shuttles leaving that day. So I got a room in a hostel in town, and went looking for something to take my mind off it. I started drinking my way through the bars. I think I drank enough to make an elephant tipsy before anything happened. I started looking less for things to drink and more for people to fight. I had picked a target, this big strong guy, looked like he could take my head off in three seconds flat. And then, I saw them.”

“Them?”

“This family. A guy, maybe a few years older than me, with his wife and kid. They were standing outside of a toy store, looking in the window. The kid was holding his dad’s hand, nose pressed to the glass. He was trying to see something in the back of the display, so the guy reached down and picked him up. The kid laughed, and the man put his free arm around his wife. I only saw them for a minute, before they went inside the store, but I thought “that could be me.” And… the funny thing was, I _wanted_ that. A family. I thought “Carol and me, we could do it. We could be a family for this kid.”

“So I went back to the hostel, and sobered up. Slept it off. And the next day, I cleaned myself up, and went back to Carol’s. She… I think she was glad to see me. Maybe she’d thought I’d gone and done something stupid, like I nearly had. Anyway, I apologized. I got down on one knee, and said I didn’t have much to offer, but I loved her, and if she’d forgive me for freaking out, I’d straighten up, make a decent man of myself, be the husband she deserved.”

“She refused you?” Spock asked.

“Yeah.” Jim laughed, a bitter sound. “She said I’d never amount to anything, and we were just kidding ourselves if we thought she could make it to the top of her profession with a no-account ex-con for a husband- never mind that my record was reset when I turned 18. I was a mess, and I’d only be holding her back.

“And as for a family, she told me she had no intention of having a one. She didn’t believe in abortion, but she wasn’t going to keep the baby. She was going to put it up for adoption, then get back to her life. A life where her only responsibility was to herself and her research.”

Jim stopped suddenly, getting up to get a glass of water from the kitchen. He looked tired, and Spock regretted bringing David’s mother up. This was clearly a topic that was hard for him to discuss, and doing so was bringing about a highly undesirable mental state in Jim.

“I apologize, Jim. This is not a topic you wish to speak of.”

“No,” Jim said. “Well, yes, I don’t want to talk about it. But I think, telling you, it’s helping. Or maybe that’s just the tiredness talking. Unless you don’t want to hear it anymore?”

“No,” Spock said, then hastily clarified when Jim’s expression froze. “I would like to hear the rest of your story. I still cannot predict what happened between your proposal to Carol and your arrival at Starfleet.”

“Okay.” Jim sat down. “Well, she flat out refused me, and she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me, or with our child after it was born. I didn’t know what to do after that. I’d planned a life with Carol and our child only that morning, and now it looked like I wouldn’t get either of them. And the kid, he would grow up without knowing his parents. The only thing I knew at that point was that I didn’t want my child to grow up not knowing if his parents loved him. I wanted my child to grow up in a house where he knew he was loved and valued. Where he knew _I_ loved him.

“I knew that, but my next words surprised me anyway. “Okay,” I told her, “Okay, I’ll take him.” “Him?” she asked, and I pointed to her belly. She thought I was crazy to assign a gender, it was still too early to tell. And she also thought it was crazy for me to want the kid. I was a screw up. What was I going to do with a child? Carol was convinced it would end badly, or that I’d get tired of him, or I’d make a mistake and something would happen and he would die.”

“How did you convince her to give you custody of David?” Spock asked, more confused now than when the story had started. The picture Jim painted of himself was unlike the man Spock knew, irresponsible and dangerous. How had he turned into the Jim Kirk sitting beside him today?

“I had to work at it. She was three months pregnant when we found out. I had to stay sober for the next six, and get my degree. I had to prove to her I could provide for our child, that I wouldn’t go back to my law-breaking delinquent ways. I went back to school, and she had her friends keep tabs on me. One wrong move, and she’d put the baby up for adoption. She wanted to be sure he’d have a decent life, I’ll give her that much. She needed to know I could do it.

“By the time she had Davey, I had been admitted to the Academy, and my mom had moved in with me. She was the one that really convinced Carol to let me keep him. She promised she would help me, be a better grandmother than she ever had been a mother.” Jim snorted, irony lacing his tone. “If Carol had known, really _known_ about my childhood, she never would have agreed to it. But when she knew my mom would help, and saw how I’d taken those six months to turn my life around, she decided I might be able to be a halfway decent father after all. She left Davey with me, and we haven’t heard from her since.”

“She has had no interaction with David at all since the time of his birth?” Spock was incredulous. On Vulcan, children were precious. It was unthinkable for a vulcan parent to abandon a child like Carol had done.

“None.” Jim shook his head. “I send her pictures every year, through one of our mutual acquaintances, but she never replies.”

“I see. It is admirable of you, to have worked so hard to prove yourself, and continue to devote yourself to raising David as a single parent.” Spock had known for some time that Jim was dedicated to his family, and this story only proved it beyond all reasonable doubt.

“Well, I didn’t do it alone. I had Mom, then Bones, and now you. And who knows what would have happened, had Captain Pike not come to visit my mom when I was home having a minor freak-out over what I was going to do with a bachelor’s degree and a baby at eighteen. It’s… it’s not a prefect family, not like that couple with their son I saw the day I learned Carol was pregnant. But it’s a good family. David’s family.”

“Yes.” Spock agreed. He found he was illogically pleased to have Jim call him family. “And we will all assist you in ensuring David is cared for.”

“If Joanna McCoy doesn’t kill him first,” Jim joked, trying to lighten the dark mood that had fallen on them. “She won’t rest until she’s pinned him down and gotten a kiss from him. Poor kid. He’s just started thinking girls have cooties, and he’s convinced if he kisses her he’ll catch them. I’m not sure what he thinks cooties will do to him, but he’s scared.”

Spock nodded, allowing Jim to steer the conversation away from his past. He still had questions, many he suspected he would never get the answer to, but for now he was content. He did not want to push his friend too hard, unsure what toll the emotions such topics brought to the surface would have upon the man. There would be time later for those conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story arc is one of the two hardest for me to write, and also one of the darkest. Jim's past is full of skeletons in the closet, only some of which we learned today. Don't worry though, I promise it won't all be doom and gloom. After all, David can't help but be adorable.


	12. Safe House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's been getting some strange messages lately. Spock finds out why, and learns a little more about Jim's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, everyone! I hope you enjoy the next chapter, and as always, thank you so much for reading!!

In the weeks following Jim’s revelations about David’s mother, Spock began to do some research. He was curious about the woman that would abandon her son and the man who loved her for a career not yet established. However, he could find no records of her after graduation from university, and any information that might have been available was locked behind the security clearance of an admiral. It could be mere coincidence that there was an admiral named Marcus, though the evidence Spock possessed pointed to a high probability it was not.

He attempted to discuss his findings with Jim, but whenever he broached the topic of Carol Marcus, the lieutenant found something else to distract him almost immediately. Soon, Spock saw the futility of trying to discuss it with him, and stopped trying. Perhaps he would have persisted, had not other, more immediate matters presented themselves.

For two weeks, Spock had noticed Jim studiously ignoring certain messages on his communicator. Each time he received one of these, he seemed more agitated than before. However, when Spock asked, he replied that it was nothing, which was an obvious lie. Spock refused to admit it, but he was hurt. Hurt that Jim, who had professed to trust him, was hiding something that was clearly causing him mental pain. The only consolation he had was that Doctor McCoy seemed just as puzzled. And then, Jim failed to appear for ‘Macaroni Night’.

 

“Spock, is Jim with you?” McCoy shouted through the communicator, not bothering with a greeting. Spock was confused. Jim should have been home, preparing their meal. Spock had been working late, having promised to meet his friend for dinner later.

“No. Is he not with you, Doctor McCoy?” Spock asked, though he thought he knew the answer.

“No, he damn well isn’t. Or I wouldn’t be calling you! He never came home, and when I went to see if he was held up at the daycare, they hadn’t seen him.”

“And David?”

“He’s with me,” McCoy replied, easing one of the fears that had sprung into Spock’s mind when he heard Jim was missing. “I’m taking him home, and I’ll keep him busy. You find Jim. It’s not like the kid to be late for dinner, especially Macaroni Night.”

“Affirmative, doctor. Spock out.” Spock shut off the call, rapidly considering his options. He could alert the authorities, but they would hardly credit being late for dinner as cause of concern. There could be a thousand reasons why Jim was not keeping his regular schedule. They were just all very unlikely, from what Spock knew of the man. He could search the campus, but Starfleet Academy was quite large, and there was no guarantee that Jim was even still at the academy. The best place to start would be Jim’s office, and see if any clues were there to find. Perhaps Jim had left a note. If not, he would have to consider other options.

It was a matter of minutes to get to Jim’s office, which was located several floors below Spock’s own. He shared the small room with one other instructor, who appeared to have gone home. Spock entered Jim’s access code, having received it months before, “in case you feel the need to come save me from the boredom that is my office-mate.” The room was dark, but that meant nothing. The lights were programmed to dim after a period of inactivity. As Spock stepped inside, they came back on. The other lieutenant’s desk was clean, everything put away for the night, but Jim’s was a mess of PADs and notes, much like his apartment usually was. This alone was unsurprising, but his bag, the one he used to take work home to finish, was still sitting beside the desk. That was enough to alarm Spock, who had not once seen Jim leave the bag behind, either at home or at work. It contained, he said, (and Spock had no reason to distrust him) secure material that Starfleet didn’t want getting out to the general populace.

A thorough search of Jim’s desk revealed nothing else out of the ordinary. Spock began to put everything back in order, knowing that Jim might forgive the search of the desk, but not if he misplaced anything. Ironic, considering that Jim’s usual style of organization was ‘messy’, though he still claimed he knew where everything was. Spock had almost returned all the PADs to their places, when he accidentally activated one. It flashed in his hands, and almost without thinking, he glanced at its contents. What it was made him stop and examine it carefully.

It was a restraining order, against one Frank Wingardener, ordering said man to remain at least one hundred feet away from Jim, David, a George Samuel Kirk, and Winona. It was dated as having been issued ten days ago, though a second file on the same PAD revealed an order from some twelve years before, ordering this Frank Wingardener to cease all contact with Jim and his family. It would seem that this man had a history of causing trouble for the Kirks, but Jim had never mentioned him. At least, not to Spock.

“McCoy.” The doctor sounded slightly more irritated than normal when he answered his comm.

“Doctor,” Spock wasted no time on pleasantries. “Do you know of a human named Frank Winegardener?”

There was a pause, and then “Shit. Shit, fuck, shit.”

“Doctor?” Spock had no time for profanity. He needed to find Jim.

“I don’t know if I should be telling you this.” The doctor definitely knew something, that reply made Spock certain of it.

“Doctor, it could be of importance to finding Jim.”

“Frank Winegardener is Jim’s step-father. Or, I should say, was. Why?”

“I found a restraining order against him from ten days ago. Is there a reason why Jim would have such a thing done now?” Jim’s step-father. He had never mentioned a step-father. Possibly for the same reason he had a restraining order against the man. Or the same reason he didn’t talk about Carol Marcus.

“I don’t know. But if he’s around, you can bet he’ll try to contact Jim. I don’t know much, but I do know he’s a real bastard.”

“Doctor, have you noticed the messages Jim has been getting lately, that he deletes without reading?” A nasty suspicion was forming in Spock’s mind.

“Goddamnit! Kid, this is what you have friends for! Spock, you’ve got to find him.”

Spock did not even wait to end the call, he simply shut his communicator and hurried from the room. Without any other clues as to Jim’s whereabouts, he would have to go to security, hopefully they could tell him whether or not the lieutenant was still on academy grounds.

Near the end of the hall, Spock stopped. He could hear a voice, echoing from the stairwell, sounding loud and angry. The door was slightly ajar, and as Spock neared it, the voice became easier to hear. Soon, he was certain- it was Jim’s voice, and he was alone.

“No I don’t give a crap what you want. You lost that right when I was ten. You stay the fuck away from my family, you hear? Even _think_ about seeing us, and I will hurt you.” There was a pause, during which Spock could just make out the sounds of another voice, likely coming from a communicator. “No. Not a chance. If you come here, I will kill you. I will kill you, and then feed your bones to the dogs. Fuck off, and don’t contact me again, bastard.” Following that, there was a sound of something hitting a wall, and what was likely a communicator shattering. “Fuck.”

“Jim.” Spock opened the door, looking in on Jim, who was standing with his hands pressed to the wall, looking down on the remains of his communicator. At Spock’s voice, he flinched, but didn’t turn around.

“Spock. I guess you heard.” He sounded defeated, and pained.

“Only the end of your conversation. Doctor McCoy was worried when you were late for dinner.”

“Aw, crap. I bet Davey’s upset. Sorry you had to come find me, Spock.” Jim leaned his head against the wall, still not looking at Spock.

“It was no trouble. Doctor McCoy and David are preparing the evening meal for us right now. If we leave soon, we have a seventy percent chance of reaching your apartment before it is ready.” Spock took a step towards Jim, reaching out a hand before deciding against it. Jim was angry and possibly frightened, he might lash out with the slightest provocation.

“That’s good. Why don’t you go on ahead? I just have to get my bag.” Jim didn’t move, perhaps waiting for Spock to leave him. Spock was unsure of what to do. Clearly Jim was in trouble, but Spock’s presence could just make it worse. Then he remembered something Jim had said several months before, on one of the rare occasions he became inebriated beyond functioning on his own. “Everyone always leaves.” Spock would not be one more person that left Jim when he needed him.

“Jim. What is wrong?” Spock didn’t expect an answer, but he asked anyway. It was what his mother would have done, if she were there. Jim’s shoulders sagged, some of the tension seeping away, and Spock knew he had made the right choice.

“Nothing. Not one goddamned thing.” Jim finally turned around, glaring defiantly up at Spock.

“The evidence points to the contrary. Not including the conversation I heard, both the shattered communicator beneath your feet and the way you are acting now suggest something is, indeed, wrong.”

“There’s no fooling you, is there?” Jim asked, sinking down to sit on the landing beneath him. “Come on, then.” He patted the stairs in front of him. When Spock obediently sat, Jim continued. “I guess you went to my office. Did you… find anything?”

The question was vague, impossible to interpret what was meant just by the wording. But Spock knew Jim, perhaps better than anyone except his son and Doctor McCoy, and he was nearly certain he could guess at what the lieutenant wanted to know.

“If your meaning is ‘did I find anything on the PADs on your desk’, then, yes. I inadvertently activated one of the documents as I was moving it, and found a restraining order against a human male named Frank Winegardener. I estimate a seventy five percent probability that it was this man you were speaking with when I discovered you in this stairwell.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that was him.” Jim sounded exhausted. A brief flash of something like anger had crossed his face when Spock admitted to finding the PAD, but was quickly suppressed. “He’s a real bastard. Mom divorced him when I was ten, after- well, that doesn’t matter. Somehow he found out I’m in Starfleet, and decided he wanted a chance to ‘catch up’. He keeps calling, trying to find out where I live, where my mom lives. But I’m not letting that fucker near my family again, and there’s no way in _hell_ I’m letting him so much as see Davey.” Jim’s eyes were as cold as ice.

“Do you have reason to believe he intends to harm you, or your son?” Spock asked.

“Reason? Yeah, I’ve got one.” Jim’s face twisted in a grimace, turning his beautiful features ugly with hate. “He’s a registered pedophile with a grudge against my family. He’s been out for revenge for years, but he doesn’t have the guts to go through with it if there’s a chance he might lose. That he’s contacted us now means he thinks he can get something out of me. Something I won’t give him the satisfaction of having.”

“A registered pedophile…” Something Jim had said before, when talking about Carol Marcus, finally clicked. ‘If she had known, really known about my childhood, she would never have agreed.’ This was what Jim had been referring to. “I see. You believe he will harm David?”

Jim was watching him strangely, head tilted a bit to the side, the ugly hate gone from his expression- for now. “You do see, don’t you? Heh,” he shook his head, “sometimes, I wish you weren’t so damn smart.”

“I apologize-“ Spock began, confused as to what Jim meant.

“No, no. Actually, I love that you’re smart. Means you can keep up with me. I just… if there was one thing I didn’t want you to know… well, no. If there were two things I didn’t want you to know, this would be one of them.”

“I see.” Jim’s statement meant that there was at least one other event in his past, likely highly traumatic, that he would keep secret, even from Spock. “In that case, I will endeavor to be worthy of the trust you place in me by giving me this information.”

“Huh.” Jim was still watching him, something a little like wonder and hope creeping into that strange expression. “That’s… that’s good. Um, you asked if I think he’ll hurt Davey. And yeah, I think he will. I’ve been working my ass off all week, trying to make sure he’s always around someone who can protect him. I know I can’t be there every minute of every day, but I want him taken care of, even when I’m not around. Like I said, there’s no way in hell that bastard is getting his hands on my son.”

Spock nodded. “Then, it is fortuitous that not only am I Vulcan, with several times the strength of a human, but that I also have extensive training in defensive techniques.”

“You… what now?” Jim looked puzzled. Perhaps he was tired, the lieutenant was not normally this slow.

“I am offering my services in assistance of yourself and David while Frank Winegardener remains a threat. If you like, I can temporarily relocate to your apartment so as to be nearer in case of a threat.” Spock knew, without Jim having said, that his friend was losing sleep, attempting to be on guard throughout the night, despite the automated security.

“Temporarily relocate to… Spock, are you offering to move in with me so my kid and I are protected from the boogeyman?” Jim’s eyes widened, and a small smile played at the corners of his mouth.

“Boogeyman, Jim?”

“It’s an earth saying, mothers tell their kids to do stuff, or the boogeyman will get them. “Eat your vegetables, Jim, or the boogeyman will eat you!” he mimicked in a high falsetto. “Clean your room, Jim, you don’t want the boogeyman hiding in that mess, do you? Do your homework, Jim- the boogeyman eats kids that don’t do their homework!” He laughed. “I mean, we both knew there wasn’t such a thing as a boogeyman, but it was good motivation.”

“I see. You wish me to protect you from this fictional monster, as well?” Spock asked. Jim let out a loud laugh, sounding truly delighted by Spock’s question.

“Haha, god no. I don’t believe in the boogeyman anymore, and I hardly need protecting myself. I’m asking, if you’re offering to help me protect my son from a man so evil he might as well be the boogeyman.”

“Ah. Then, yes, Jim. I am offering to help you protect David from this ‘boogeyman’.”

“Even if it means living in the same house as Bones, for an undefined length of time?” Jim was truly smiling now, for which Spock was glad. It occurred to him that he hadn’t seen Jim’s carefree smile in over a week.

“I will, as you say, ‘put up with’ the inconvenience if it means greater safety for yourself and David.” Spock expected, and got, another laugh from Jim at that.

“Good. Then, if you really don’t mind, you can sleep in my room. I’ve been staying in Davey’s room since Frank’s first message.” Jim stood, offering a hand to help Spock up. He didn’t know what the offering of a hand meant to Vulcans, but the gesture still made Spock’s heart speed up for a moment. He stood up on his own, doing his best to ignore the slightly hurt look in Jim’s eyes.

“I will retrieve some necessary items from my apartment after dinner. But now, I believe both David and Doctor McCoy will be anxious to have you return home.”

“Shit, it’s that late?” Jim looked at his watch. “I am so fucked. Come on, Spock, let’s get home before Davey throws a fit!” He dashed from the stairwell towards his office, darting inside to grab his bag and running back out. Spock quickly caught up with him, and the two made their way to Jim’s apartment, where David was waiting, impatiently, for his father to get home. For the moment, safe under the watchful eyes of Leonard McCoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I have returned, I'm not certain yet of my schedule, so don't expect regular updates just yet. I do promise at least one chapter a month, more if my workload (and internet access) permits.


	13. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock fucks up. Badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience with me as I get used to my new life! Updates should be more regular sometime soon. As always, thank you so much for reading and commenting! I always love hearing from you!

“He’s going to _what_?!” Spock heard Doctor McCoy yelling from the hallway. Jim’s apartment door was slightly open, allowing the doctor’s voice to echo through the building. Spock almost expected other people to come out, looking for the source of the noise, but no one did. Perhaps they were used to hearing McCoy rant.

Jim’s reply was quieter, Spock only caught the last few words of it “- help keep Davey safe. Just until this blows over.”

Spock knocked, signaling his arrival. While he was curious as to the subject of conversation, which was likely his impending stay in the apartment, Spock was more concerned about the safety of his friend. The door swung open.

“Spock!” Jim smiled, while Doctor McCoy scowled over his shoulder. “Right on time! You know you don’t have to knock, right?”

Spock inclined his head. “It seemed prudent, as I have not yet ‘moved in’ to your home.”

Jim snorted, a ridiculous sound. “This is going to be awesome!” Try as he might, Spock could detect no irony in his voice. “Just walk on in next time, this is your home too, for as long as you like.”

“Oh, great,” McCoy muttered, turning and walking towards the kitchen. “Just what I need. The hobgoblin moving in permanently.”

“Bones, be nice,” Jim warned, glaring at his friend. “He’s just grumpy because we were late for dinner.”

“Late for dinner? You scared the shit out of me, kid!” the doctor glowered at Jim and Spock. “You couldn’t have just called and said ‘late for dinner’? We- I thought we were going to have to get you out of yet another mess.”

“Aww, Bones, I love you too,” Jim waved off his friend’s concern. “And I told you, I was on the phone, arguing with my no-good excuse for an ex step-father. It’s a _good_ excuse for being late!”

“Good excuse my ass. Next time, comm me or something, _before_ I start alerting people.” The doctor glared at Jim once more, before leaving the room.

“Some people worry too much,” Jim pouted. Spock raised an eyebrow at him.

“Perhaps we worry because of your fondness for getting into trouble, Jim,” he said, placing his bag on the floor beside the couch.

“I don’t mean to,” Jim told him, sounding almost like David when he was in trouble. “It just… happens!”

“I see. And yet, trouble has a disturbingly high chance of ‘just happening’ to you. I estimate that-“

“Nu-uh.” Jim shook his head, grabbing Spock’s bag and walking towards his bedroom. “No numbers. I’m sure you have it calculated to the umpteenth decimal point, just how often I get into trouble. But I don’t need to know!”

“The twelfth digit,” Spock corrected. “As far as I am aware, umpteenth is not a number.”

Jim laughed. “Figure of speech, Spock. Means ‘more than anyone reasonably needs to know.”

“I see.”

“Come on, let’s get you set up in here.” The lieutenant ushered Spock into his bedroom, which appeared to have been hastily cleaned. Jim’s customary mess was regulated to a small corner, the rest possibly cleared away for Spock’s arrival. A chest of drawers was empty, the drawers open for Spock’s cloths, and half the closet was available for use.

“Jim,” Spock continued the argument they had begun on the way to Jim’s apartment before dinner. “I must protest your relinquishing the use of your room. I can achieve adequate rest on the sofa, and will not deprive you of your bed.”

Jim sighed. “Spock, for the last time, I haven’t been sleeping in here since Frank started calling. I feel better sleeping in Davey’s room, keeping him safe. There’s no sense in you sleeping on the couch when there’s a perfectly good bed going unused right here.”

“I cannot-“

“No. Not taking no for an answer. You’re sleeping in here, mister. My house, my rules.”

In the face of Jim’s stubbornness, Spock did the only logical thing- he acquiesced.

 

The next few days passed relatively uneventfully for Jim and Spock. Spock took up a new routine, walking Jim and David to the daycare center, waiting while Jim took him to his class, and then walking Jim to his office, before going to his own. At precisely 1100, Spock would be waiting outside Jim’s door to take him to lunch, and they would walk back together. In the evenings, Jim often finished teaching before Spock was off duty, and would make his way up to Spock’s office, where he would entertain himself while the Vulcan worked. His effectiveness decreased by .05 percent when Jim was in the room with him, but otherwise did not decline. In fact, since Jim’s apartment was closer to their workplace than his own, he spent an average of seventy five minutes more per day in the office than he had since meeting Jim.

After work, the pair would pick up David, who often had gotten into some form of trouble during the day. Jim would chastise the boy before smoothing it over with his teachers, and they would return to the apartment for dinner. On days when Spock’s shifts did not allow him to accompany Jim to or from their home, Doctor McCoy agreed to ‘take care of the damn fool kid.’ Spock suspected that he offered only a token protest, perhaps glad of the chance to assist his friend.

Of course, this new schedule did not go unnoticed by the rest of the academy. Spock was no stranger to gossip, and, he suspected, neither was Jim, but some of the comments he overheard were ludicrous in the extreme. “So they finally moved in together, huh? I was wondering when Kirk would make his move.” “Just see the way he looks at him! They’re so _adorable_!” “The commander and the lieutenant are together, have you heard?” “It’s so nice to finally see Jim happy with someone.” “I wonder if Davey calls Spock ‘mom’.”

That last comment had caused Jim to double over with laughter when Spock relayed it. “Oh gods. So they think-“ he broke down again. “haha- they think you and I are like married?”

“From the comments I have overheard, it would appear so,” Spock said, not seeing why the idea of marriage between them was so funny.

“But-“ Jim was staring at him, still laughing. “You’re _Vulcan_!”

“Yes.” Spock wondered why the lieutenant was stating the obvious.

“And Vulcans are like… the kings of logic, right?”

“As a race, my people do value logic highly, if that’s what you mean.” He still did not understand what Jim was getting at.

“So… isn’t a marriage between two men like the height of illogic? I mean, you guys don’t believe in emotion, so there’s no point in saying love is important, and there’s no way to naturally have kids, so…” Jim had stopped laughing, and his eyes were serious now. Spock also thought that perhaps he looked a little sad, though that made no sense. It was more likely he was once again misreading human facial expressions.

“Are you saying you believe Vulcans would not condone a homosexual pairing simply because there is no possibility of natural offspring?” Spock asked, lifting an eyebrow at his friend.

“Yeah. I mean, the quote is funny anyway, because if you’ve got two men with a kid, they’re both the ‘father’ usually, but it’s also funny because it implies you’d be willing to get into a gay relationship. Which seems totally out of character for Vulcans in general.”

Spock remembered, then, his mother’s advice- tell Jim that Vulcans were not completely against homosexual pairings. He had not yet found the chance to inform him of that, and was still unsure whether it was the right course of action, but the timing was too prefect to pass up. The voice in his mind that sounded like Amanda urged him on, telling him to take the chance.  But the voice that sounded more like his father, the logical side of Spock’s mind, told him it was too risky. It would be revealing the secrets of his people, with no reason at all to think he would gain anything. It was best he say nothing.

“Your statement is not entirely accurate,” he heard himself say, as if his mouth had taken on a will of its own.

“Huh?” Jim tilted his head a bit to the side, frowning.

“Vulcans do, on occasion, engage in single-gender pairings,” Spock said, and watched as Jim’s eyes widened.

“Wait, really? You’re not pulling my leg?”

Spock placed his hands firmly on his knees, watching Jim pull himself upright from his usual slouch in the oversized chair he favored in the evenings. “I have not touched your leg, Jim.”

Jim snorted. “I know you know what that one means, smart ass.”

“Very well,” Spock inclined his head, pleased at his friend’s amusement. “What I have said is correct, homosexual mating happens only rarely, but it does occur.”

“It isn’t illogical?” Jim asked, poking a carrot with a fork.

“No. For Vulcans, mental compatibility is paramount. If one were to find another who fit their mind exactly, regardless of gender, it would be almost impossible to avoid a bond between them.”

“So… it’s like destiny?” Jim looked skeptical.

“No. Destiny would imply some greater power governing their lives. It is very, very rare to find one’s t’hy’la. It is a meeting of minds, two people so compatible their minds form a perfect fit- creating a perfect whole, perhaps.  Pre-Surak Vulcan held great esteem for these couples, who would be shield-mates, fighting as one in battle.”

“What did you call them? Tyla?”

“T’hy’la,” Spock corrected, pronouncing it slowly for Jim to hear.

“T’hy’la,” Jim echoed, this time nearly prefect, the word only touched by his accent. Spock repressed a shiver, hearing that word on Jim’s lips was brought up emotions he had never felt before, and had no way to categorize them. But it felt… it felt right.

“Yes. Its direct translation into standard is ‘friend, brother, lover.’ If you were to examine the deeper connections of the word, you would find that it means ‘more than a friend, different than a brother, closer than a lover’.”

“Wow.” Jim looked impressed. “That’s pretty deep. I mean, I know your language is deep and all, but that’s, _wow_. Why haven’t I heard of this before?”

“Vulcans prefer to keep our cultural matters to ourselves. However, if you had researched the history of my people before Surak, you would come across frequent mention of t’hy’la.”

“Which is your way of saying ‘we don’t like icky humans learning our secrets, and Jim you should have read more history’, am I right?” Jim’s eyes took on a wicked gleam and he grinned at Spock.

“I would not presume to say such things.” He watched Jim without a hint of emotion showing on his face, enjoying the look of amused indignation on Jim’s face.

“Oh, that’s- oooh, I am so going to get you back for that!”

“For what, Jim?” Spock cocked an eyebrow at his friend.

“Oh-ho, very good. Make fun of me. I’ll show you!” And Jim advanced on him with a pillow from the oversized chair, initiating a brief sparring session, which was interrupted by the entrance of doctor McCoy.

“What are you- no. No, I _really_ don’t want to know. Don’t mind me, I’m just going back into my room, act like I was never here.” He looked faintly red, what was referred to as ‘blushing’, and turned on his heel, disappearing back the way he had come.

“And _that_ is why you can’t make fun of me!” Jim said, putting down the pillow, with which he had been defending himself.

“Because Doctor McCoy will leave any room he enters if we are practicing unarmed combat?” Spock asked.

“Hah. That. And because now he totally has the wrong idea about us. If he wasn’t, y’know, _Bones_ , he’d be feeding the gossip mill already. But he is, so we’re safe for now. Just don’t start anything in public, or I’ll be forced to respond!” Jim pointed at Spock to emphasize his point. “And then we’ll really see what the rumor mill makes of us!”

 

The next day, Spock found out that McCoy was not the only one who had received ‘the wrong idea’ about himself and Jim. David was unusually exuberant all morning, and greeted Spock with a big hug when he and Jim appeared to pick the child up from the daycare center. When Spock inquired about the nature of his joy, he simply replied “I’m happy!” The true cause of such happiness only came out later, when Jim and Doctor McCoy left David with Spock to go purchase ingredients for the next day’s dinner- Macaroni Night.

“Spock?” David asked, sitting on the floor with his toy dinosaurs and the phaser Spock had given him for his birthday, “Is Daddy your t’hy’la?”

To say that Spock was surprised would be an understatement, were Vulcans given to such emotion. “I beg your pardon?” He needed confirmation of what he’d heard.

“I only ask, ‘cause I heard you tellin’ him last night about it, and I got to thinking that maybe you meant he was yours. I wish you’d ‘a told me earlier, ‘cause I was so sad when you said he didn’t love you. But he does love you, and now you’re together! If I’da known earlier, I would have gotten you and Daddy a present to celebrate. But Daddy only said you moved in to pr’tect me from his old step-daddy, who’s mean. Can I still get you a present? What would you like?” David stopped and looked at Spock expectantly. As was so often the case with Jim and his son, Spock was at a loss as to what to do.

David was obviously under the misconception that Jim and Spock shared a romantic relationship. Compounding that was the discussion about t’hy’la, which David had overheard. His previous knowledge of Spock’s own feelings would make it difficult to convince him of the truth, particularly if he was convinced his father also had feelings for Spock.

“David,” Spock had to concentrate to keep his inner turmoil from showing on his face, “your father and I are not in a romantic relationship. He was quite correct when he informed you that I am living here primarily to keep you and your father safe from Frank Wiengardener.”

“But what you said about t’hy’la!” David protested, and Spock spared a moment to be impressed at his pronunciation. Perhaps he could talk to Jim about giving the boy lessons in Vulcan.

“That was merely for his benefit, as I was correcting a misconception your father had about relationships between my people. I did not mean to imply, nor, I think, did he infer, that he was or is my t’hy’la.”

“But… you love Daddy. And Daddy loves you! You _must_ be t’hy’la! You’re my family!” In his agitation, the child stood up and looked straight at Spock. In that moment, his blue eyes were disconcertingly similar to Jim’s.

“While I am gratified that you feel I am part of your family, and indeed I see you as such as well, there is not, nor will there be, a relationship of the romantic nature between myself and your father. Regardless of what you believe us to feel, I am a Vulcan. My people do not feel emotions, making it impossible for your father and I to share any type of romantic bond.”

“That’s bullshit!” David yelled, throwing his toy phaser on the floor. “You do too have emotions! When Daddy was missing, you were really worried! I could see! And when you explained why I couldn’t hold your hand any more, you blushed! I remember because it was green instead of red. You love my daddy, and my daddy loves you!” He was shaking now, and Spock was entirely uncertain how to proceed. David had never had a tantrum of this magnitude when it was only he and Spock, and Spock did not know what to do to calm him down.

“Your logic is flawed. I was concerned about your father, yes, but that does not imply any emotion beyond a slight regret if I were to lose his companionship.” Part of Spock knew this was wrong. He _had_ been worried. And he was now doing to David exactly what he had tried to avoid, the same thing his father had done to him. But, confronted with evidence of his compromised control, all Spock knew to do was retreat further under his Vulcan mask of impassivity. “While I value your father as a highly intelligent member of your species, and receive gratification from his companionship, I do not feel any emotions beyond those which I have already stated.”

“ _Your_ logic is STUPID!” David screamed, and, before Spock could react, the child turned and ran for his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

“Ok. What did you do to my kid?” Jim was standing in the door to Spock’s- _Jim’s_ \- room, arms crossed, glaring at Spock. “He was in his room when we got back, but he does that sometimes. But when I went in to tuck him in, he’d been crying. He tried to hide it, but he’s five, and pretty easy to read. He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, but since he was just fine when Bones and I left, I’m assuming something happened while we were gone. So. What. Did. You. Do. To. My. Kid?” Jim was obviously angry, and Spock didn’t blame him. He knew how seriously the lieutenant took his son.

“David asked me about our relationship, particularly my explanation of the word t’hy’la, I was forced to correct some misconceptions. He did not wish to understand.”

Jim’s expression shifted to something unreadable, the corners of his lips cocked in a small smile. “Huh. So, what you’re saying, is Davey asked you if we were dating, you said no, and he got mad because he has his heart set on us getting married.”

“Jim?” Spock was still keeping his emotions tightly controlled. He half suspected he would need to meditate for the entirety of the night.

“Spock. You know Davey loves you, so it stands to reason he would want to see us in a relationship. You couldn’t have broken it to him more gently?”

For the second time that night, Spock was unsure of how to proceed. “At first, I attempted to correct his misconceptions, but he would not listen to the logic of my arguments”

“Because he’s _five_. Human kids don’t have to think logically, Spock.”

“Nevertheless, I was forced to explain to him that his misconception of a romantic relationship between the two of us was not only incorrect, but undesirable.”

“Undesirable,” Jim repeated, a flash of hurt crossing his face so quickly Spock believed he had imagined it. “I see. Thank you, Spock, for explaining the situation to me. I’ll make sure David understands his conclusion was wrong.” The lieutenant’s face was as expressionless as Spock’s in that instant. Then he turned on his heels, and left the room, leaving Spock thoroughly confused as to what he had done.

 

The next morning, Spock rose from his meditation (he had been correct- it had required the entire night and some of the early morning to calm his emotions after the short exchanges with David and Jim) to find that Jim and David had already left the building. That was strange, as it was still half an hour before their usual time to leave, but he was, indeed, alone in the apartment. Assuming that Jim must have been called in early, Spock proceeded on his own, making a mental note to ask Jim at lunch if David was feeling any better.

Only, Jim never came to lunch. He sent Spock a message, saying he had ‘stuff’ to do, and wouldn’t be able to make it. It was the first time since eating together had become a regular thing that Jim had skipped a meal with Spock. Spock tried not to be worried.

And then, when he arrived at Jim’s office to go pick up David from daycare, Jim’s office-mate informed him that the lieutenant had left an hour earlier. Spock thanked the man, and walked to the apartment on his own. Something felt wrong about the day, and he felt a sense of foreboding about Jim. He may have walked a little faster than normal, intent on getting home to Jim and David and discovering the cause of Jim’s strange schedule.

When Spock reached the door of the apartment, he suddenly felt unsure. Maybe Jim was avoiding him. But, for what purpose? True, he had upset David, but Jim had to see that the explanation had to be made. Unless he had upset the boy more than he had assumed. Perhaps Jim was truly angry with him. Instead of simply entering, Spock knocked on the door.

It swung open almost immediately, revealing a very angry Leonard McCoy.

“You!” He growled, glaring at Spock. “This is all your fault. I leave you alone for a second, and you’ve got the kid twisted all up in knots! If anything happens to them, I’m blaming you!”

A cold knot of fear settled into Spock’s stomach. “I do not understand.”

“To right you don’t. Cold-blooded bastard. Come in here, I’m not goanna air Jim’s dirty laundry to the whole damn world.” The doctor took a hold of Spock’s shirt, pulling him inside the apartment. The small living quarters seemed unusually empty for this time of day- neither Jim nor David were in sight.

“Release me, doctor,” Spock said, stepping back from the human. McCoy let go of his shirt with a grimace of distaste.

“Gladly. Now. I don’t know what you said to Jim, but he was in a right state when he got home. Said he was takin’ Davey on vacation, wouldn’t be back for a few days. Something about space and a chance to relax away from the gossip mill. Now, I know the only rumors in the gossip mill lately are the ones about you an’ him, and normally he thinks they’re funny. The only thing I can think is that you said something last night, when he came outta your room with a face like a thundercloud. He’s been acting off since then, and you _know_ he’s not thinking right what with worrying about that Frank bastard. So I think you said something, something to push him over the edge. An’ now he’s gone off on his own to try and do like he always does, and take care of himself. And here I though he was finally beginning to trust other people to help him. Dammit, Spock!” McCoy ended his tirade by slamming his fist into the wall. “I thought you knew enough about the kid to be careful of his scars. Guess I was wrong.”

Spock focused on the one thing he was able to make out from the argument. “Jim’s gone?”

“Back to Iowa. For a week. Pike gave him emergency leave this morning, after he went and tried to talk him down. Said he thought maybe it was a good idea to let him have some time alone.”

“Why?” Spock didn’t understand, until last night, Jim had seemed fine.

“Why? Goddamnit, you hobgoblin! Fuck-” McCoy was interrupted by his comm going off. “McCoy,” he barked into it.

“Doctor McCoy, this is Ensign Boes. I’ve got the results from that search you asked for.”

“And?”

“There’s only one listing of a Frank Winegardener on any transport in or out of the area. He departed on a shuttle bound for Iowa fifteen minutes ago.”

McCoy froze, looking at Spock with fear now lacing the anger. “Are you sure?”

“Yessir,” the ensign told him, “I can send you the list, if you like.”

“That won’t be necessary.” McCoy shut off the communicator. “You see? This is _your fault_. Frank must have heard about the kid’s sudden vacation, and decided to follow. Now you have go after them, before someone gets killed!”

“Why me?” Spock asked, and knew instantly it was the wrong thing to say.

“Because, you bastard, Jim would’ve stayed here where he was safe if you hadn’t gone and pissed him off!” The doctor shoved a bag into Spock’s hands. With a start, he realized it was his own, already packed. “I was going to just kick you out, but you’re probably the only one that can get the kid to come back before Frank finds him. So go on, get. And don’t come back unless you bring Jim and Davey with you!” McCoy shoved Spock out the door, slamming it in shut in front of his nose.

Spock didn’t need telling twice. All thoughts of what he might have done or why Jim was angry were forgotten in the desperate need to go after him. He sent a message to Captain Pike, explaining his unexpected absence, and hurried to the shuttle bay. There was a commander in charge of the motor pool who owed Spock a favor, and it was time to call it in.


	14. Knight in Shining Armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock comes to Jim's rescue, but things don't work out exactly as he hoped

Spock steered the shuttlecraft onto the landing pad, reminding himself that it was illogical to rush- Jim would already be at his home, and Frank might not even know where he was. In addition, there was the fact that hurrying would significantly increase the risk of a crash. Once the small craft was parked (an agonizingly slow process), Spock went in search of transportation.

“Hmm.” The man at the rental car counter was in his mid-fifties, heavyset, with sparse, graying hair. “I can get you a car or a bike, depending on where you want to go.”

“I’m traveling to Riverside,” Spock said, repressing irritation at how long this was taking. He hoped Jim really was in his hometown. Otherwise, Spock would have to start at the beginning again.

“Huh. You’re the second one today to say that.” The man checked his computer. “Yeah, I think it was this guy, Weingardener, F. Rented an old Honda, ‘bout an hour ago. Real jerk.”

“I see. Can you provide me with a vehicle, or can you not?” Spock did not care to hear this man’s opinion of Frank Weingardener. He had already formed his own, and needed no additional input from secondary sources.

“Woah, no need to get testy. I’m just trying to make conversation,” the man said, reaching for a set of keys hanging on the wall next to him. “Hmm, you’ll probably want something fast. How about… this one.” He made his selection, removing the keys from the hook and passing them to Spock. “It’s Ford, four-door sedan, equipped with standard power steering, onboard VI, and the latest in propulsion tech. $50 a day plus gas. Alright?”

“Fine.” Spock had no time to quibble price while Jim was in danger. He paid in advance for two days and took the keys. He barely noticed the color of the car that waited for him (a dark black) before he was inside it, seat buckled and course plotted. It was half an hour from the shuttle port to Riverside, and from there he would need to get direction to the Kirk residence.

 

Spock slowed the car once he reached the town. The first few people he asked didn’t seem to know where Jim lived, but they were able to point him to the police station, which should have records of all the homes in the area. Several of the robotic law enforcement agents were stationed outside the small building, and they scanned Spock as he approached. Seeing no threat, they resumed a resting stance.

Inside, Spock found more of the robots doing the many small, mindless tasks required to run the police office. Signs showed the way to the sheriff’s office, where Spock was glad to find a human. The robots were efficient, but were not programmed to answer questions that had nothing to do with the law. It would be more expedient to talk to a living person to get the information Spock needed.

The sheriff was a human male, perhaps sixty years old. Lean and fit, he did not fit the human stereotype of a fat, donut-eating police officer. He wore a blue uniform under a leather jacket with ‘Riverside Police’ printed on it in gold lettering, and looked up at Spock from behind his desk with intelligent green eyes. His gaze fixed on Spock’s uniform for a moment, before moving up to his face.

“Hullo! You’re a new face. What’s your name, Starfleet?”

“I am Spock. Are you the sheriff of this town?” Spock didn’t have time to waste on pleasantries.

“That I am. Name’s Kyle Stone. I’m guessing you’re not here to chat, huh?” Stone stood up, coming from behind his desk and offering Spock the Vulcan salute.

“You are correct. I am looking for James Kirk. Can you direct me to his place of residence?”

“You’re looking for Jimmy? Fuck,” the man frowned. “Look, Starfleet- Mister Spock- whatever that kid did, I’m sure there’s a reason for it. Why don’t we go talk to him and see what he has to say be-“

Spock raised a hand to interrupt the sheriff. “You are mistaken. You assume I am looking for Jim because of something he did. Your words lead me to believe you assume this action to be criminal. That is not the case. I am looking for Jim and David because they are in danger from a man named Frank Wiengardener, Jim’s former step-father, and a man I have cause to believe intends great physical harm to either Jim or his son.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” the sheriff swore again. “That bastard’s back in town? Didn’t think he’d ever show his face around here again.” The man bent over his desk, rummaging in a drawer for a few seconds before retrieving a phaser rifle. “If he’s after Jimmy and that sweet little boy of his, I’m coming with you. Not many people in this town would stand up for Jimmy against that bastard, but not many know him like I do.”

“Fascinating,” Spock said, watching the man pick up his badge and the keys to his police cruiser. “You are acquainted with Jim and David?”

“Yeah. Come on, ride with me and I’ll tell you all about it on the way over.” The mention of Frank and Jim had energized the man, and he walked with purpose out to where the cruiser and Spock’s rental car were parked. “You can leave your car here. Nothing’s goanna happen to it with the robots around the place. I’m going out,” he turned to the robot at the door. “I don’t know when I’ll be back. If it’s important, have people call me, okay?”

“Understood, sir. Have a nice trip.” The robot moved to stand in front of the door. Stone turned back to Spock.

“Okay. In you get.” He opened the passenger door for Spock before going around to enter the driver’s side.

Once they were speeding through town, lights and sirens blazing, the sheriff spoke again. “You wanted to know how I know Jim and Davey, yeah? Well, do you know much about his past?” He glanced at Spock, for one fear-inducing moment not even looking at the road in front of him.

“He has mentioned that he was in legal trouble several times during his childhood,” Spock said, hoping the man would keep his eyes on the road.

“That’s an understatement. His first offence was when he was six years old, shoplifting. I’m pretty sure he’s stolen stuff since then, but he’s gotten better at not getting caught. As he got older, he progressed to bigger stuff like carjacking- and that’s a good story, drove his step-dad’s car right off a cliff- and assault. Mostly we’d toss him in the drunk tank to cool off and let him out with community service. He was a good kid, just bored. And he was off-planet for a bit when he was twelve, came back two years later pretty messed up. Won’t say what happened of course, but that’s when he started getting into the bad stuff. Never drugs, thank goodness. He was always careful about things that could kill his brain. Well, things that aren’t alcohol.

Anyway, when we had him in the cell, it was mostly just him, me, and a bunch of other drunks. We’d get to talking, and, well, that kid could charm the pants off Satan, if you know what I mean. When he was fifteen, I offered him the job of junior deputy. He got into less trouble after that. Still got into fights and stuff, but I think helping me stop crime kept him from wanting to commit it. I got to know him pretty well by the time that Marcus woman ran off and left him with their kid. He even stopped getting into fights after that, joined up with Starfleet, and now he only comes by on leave. Always stops in to say hi, though. And we write now and then, though neither of us were ever big on writing letters.”

“I see.” Spock took a moment to process the man’s monologue, cataloging the new information about Jim in his mind. The time off planet, perhaps that was the other thing Jim didn’t want him to know about. Something had happened then that Jim was either too ashamed, or too proud, to want to talk about. His time as a junior deputy was also new to Spock. He had never thought of Jim as the type to willingly work with law-enforcement personnel. The petty crime and brawling though, that Jim had been up front about. The puzzle that was Jim Kirk kept getting new pieces. Spock was unsure whether he would ever put it all together.

“We’re here,” Sheriff Stone announced, turning down a dirt road and approaching a decent-sized farm house. Out front was a motorbike- Jim’s- and another car. Spock was easily able to make out the logo- it was a Honda.

“Shit.” The sheriff parked the car and opened the door with one motion. Spock was already moving towards the house, where he could hear shouting. Jim’s voice, and another, muffled by the walls so Spock couldn’t quite make out the words. And then, there was a sound that made his blood run cold- phaser fire, and a child’s scream.

“Jim!” Spock shouted, all thoughts of tactics or strategy gone. Jim was in danger, which was all he needed to know. He took the steps two at a time, throwing open the door and running into the house. He entered into some kind of foyer, rooms opening up off either side, and stairs leading up. The voices were coming from the left, and Spock followed them to find Jim and his adversary in what he thought was called the ‘family room,’ with several comfortable looking couches arraigned around a television set.  David was cowering behind the couch nearest the door, clutching his toy phaser.

The other man was large, heavily muscled, with thinning mousey hair and an unpleasant sneer on his rather large lips. His nose was unfortunately large, and his eyes, which might once have been considered handsome, were narrowed in a grimace of hate. “You don’t tell me what to do, boy. This here is my house, my rules,” he was saying, trying to look over Jim. Both men held phasers, and a singed spot on the wall showed where one had been fired and missed.

“Not anymore,” Jim told him, eyes as hard and cold as ice. “Now it’s mine. And you are not welcome here.”

“Fuck that. I say it’s mine by right! Your momma gave it to me when we were married.”

“And she took it back when you were divorced. Now leave, Frank, before I do something you’ll regret.”

Frank growled, advancing on Jim. Jim’s eyes flicked to Spock, registering surprise only for a moment, before turning to David, intent clear- Spock was to take David from the house before he got hurt.

“What are you looking at, boy? You don’t look at anything but me, you hear?”

“I hear,” Jim said, smiling. It was a hard smile, nothing like his usual grin. “I just don’t care.”

“You think you’re such a big shot now, huh. Starfleet lieutenant. Pha,” he spit, “That’s what I think of that. Starfleet was the only place that’d take you with your record, after you went and had a kid out of wedlock. The kid’s a bastard, and I’ll show him his place, just as soon as I’m done teaching you yours!”

Jim raised his phaser. “One more step, Frank, and I’ll put a charge through your head. Don’t think I won’t.”

Frank still hadn’t noticed Spock, though David had. He looked at the Vulcan with a pleading expression. Spock motioned him to come to his side. David looked back at his father and Frank, clearly terrified. Spock shook his head, and held out a hand. Small gestures, meant to avoid the notice of the man advancing on Jim. David’s eyes widened, and he looked like he was going to lose consciousness, but he dropped to the floor and crawled towards Spock.

While this was happening, the sheriff moved silently in beside Spock. “Stalemate,” he whispered. Spock knew what he meant. One of them moved, and Frank would shoot Jim before they could fire on him. David reached Spock, as Frank and Jim stared each other down. Spock reached down to put a hand on David’s head, comforting and moving the boy behind his legs at the same time. With his other hand, he slowly drew his phaser.

Without warning, Frank discarded his gun, leaping on Jim with a wordless howl, knocking the lieutenant’s phaser from his hands and bringing him to the floor. Jim fought silently, but well, as he had been trained. Thrusting his hips up, he managed to roll Frank off him, but the bigger man had a hold of his neck. Jim fought to free himself, gouging and tearing at anything he could reach.

“Take David,” Spock said quickly, and before the officer could reply, had rushed in to help. At this angle, he could not fire his weapon without risking hitting Jim too. He had to subdue the attacker manually.

“Spock, get Davey out of here!” Jim yelled, using breath he should have kept for fighting. Frank’s other hand found his neck, and began a strangle hold. Jim pounded on the man’s arms, trying to break his grip. He made a choking sound, and Spock’s rational thoughts were overwhelmed by the need to get to Jim.

Later, Jim would inform him that he shouted something in Vulcan, but Spock did not know it. He grabbed Frank by the shoulders, tearing him from Jim. He threw the man against the wall, where everyone else heard a sickening crack, and bent down to make sure Jim was still breathing.

Jim was looking at him with wide eyes. “Spock,” he said, and coughed.

“Are you alright, Jim?” Spock asked, gently running his hands over Jim’s body for signs of injury. He could feel pain and astonishment, as well as residual fear where their skin touched, but he found no major injuries.

“I’m fine. I-“ Jim froze, then rolled sideways, picking up the phaser on the floor next to him and firing. Spock turned to see the lifeless body of Frank Weingardener fall to the floor.

“Just stunned,” Sheriff Stone said, checking the man’s pulse. “But he’s got a nasty head wound from when you threw him into the wall.”

David ran over and clung to Jim. “Daddy! Daddy, daddy, daddy,” He cried, burying his face in Jim’s shirt.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay little man, I’m alright now,” Jim soothed him, sitting up and drawing the child into his lap.

“Jim-“ Spock was unsure of what to say. He should apologize for upsetting his friend, but he didn’t know if this was the right time.

“Thanks, Spock. He might’ve- might’ve killed me and Davey if you hadn’t come. Stupid. Stupid of me, taking Davey away from the academy, where we knew he was safe. He could have been killed.”

“Jimmy, are you hurt?” The sheriff came over, and Spock noticed his handcuffs were no longer on his belt- he’d cuffed Frank to a table.

“Hey, Kyle. I’m fine, just a little bruised. How’d you get here?”

“Starfleet over there,” Stone jerked his thumb at Spock, “showed up at my station asking about you, said you were in danger. Of course I couldn’t let him come out here on his own. We took my car.”

“Glad you did,” Jim laughed, and winced as it hurt his bruised throat. “Any later and I might be less okay.”

Spock helped Jim up, moving him to a more comfortable position on one of the couches. David stayed plastered to his side, his father’s arm as much a security blanket as his stuffed creatures or his toy phaser. Together, they watched as Sheriff Stone called for backup, and directed the robotic police that responded to remove Frank and put him in the town jail, under guard. Then, a medic came in to check Jim, and run a few regenerators over his neck. Jim brushed him off, saying his own doctor could do it when they got back to the academy. Spock took this as a sign that Jim intended to accompany him back home, instead of remaining here, in this house.

Finally, once most of the activity was done, and it was just Jim and Spock and David, Spock tried to say the things that had been most on his mind since seeing his friend safe. “Jim,” he said, “about what I said last night-“

“Spock, no.” Jim held up a hand, stalling anything Spock was about to say. “Look, it’s pretty obvious you care about Davey and me, or you wouldn’t have come rushing out here when you knew we were in danger. But I’m not going to push it when you’re not ready. I’m happy with what we’ve got, and I talked to Davey. He knows not to ask you about dating again. So let’s just forget it, okay?”

“I do not think-“ Spock started to protest, aware that if he did this wrong, he might lose and possibility of ever being with Jim romantically. He was also aware of the implications of Jim’s words. It gave him hope that perhaps there was a chance.

“No. Spock, you’re not ready for something more. And I guess I’m not either. I accept your apology, but what you said really hurt. Nobody likes being told that they’re undesirable.” Spock’s mouth shut with a snap, the hope draining out of him. He had not realized, when he said that, that Jim would take it to mean he did not desire Jim.

“I did not mean what I said in that way,” Spock started again, and again, Jim stopped him.

“I know. Once I cooled off, I figured you didn’t really know what it was you had said. Still, it hurt. I had thought we were building something. I forgive you, but maybe I can’t quite forget it yet.”

“Jim…” Spock felt as if he had somehow missed his chance to make things right. He did not know what to do.

“Spock. It’s okay. We’ll just go on as we have been, and we can talk about it again. When we’re both ready.”

“When, Jim?” Spock wanted to know, feeling a little desperate.

“Maybe in a year,” Jim told him, with a small, sad smile. “When we’ve had time to forget this, and get back to normal, okay?”

“A year is a very long time,” Spock said. He was unsure if he could wait that long. But if he was anything, he was patient.

“Exactly,” Jim said, giving Spock back some hope with his impish grin, “anything could happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we'll hear from Davey, and what he thinks about all this.   
> As always, thank you so much for reading! I love to hear from you, so feel free to tell me what you liked (or hated!) about the story so far!


	15. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Davey makes Christmas presents for his family, with a sneaky plan in mind.

Davey Kirk was happy. Today, his teachers were giving them most of the day to make gifts for their parents. “For the Winter Holidays,” Miss Mira had said, and Mr. Irving had brought out the art supplies. Mr. Irving was new. Miss Lia, the teacher before Mr. Irving, had had to go home. Davey felt kind of bad for making her cry before she left, but still, class had been so _boring_ , and exploring the academy seemed like so much more fun! Mr. Irving was fun, though. He was from Betazed, and he could look into your mind like Spock, only he didn’t have to touch you to do it. He liked Davey. None of Davey’s tricks ever made _him_ cry.

Now Mr. Irving was sitting by Davey at the arts table, showing all the kids how to make a card. Davey _knew_ how to make a card. It was easy! You fold the paper like a hot-dog, and then draw on it. Daddy had loved the one Davey had made for him last year. But this year, Davey didn’t want to make a stupid old card. He had four gifts to make, and they all needed to be special!

He’d already started on Grandpa Chris’s gift- he was using clay to make a gold Starfleet symbol. Grandpa Chris could put it on his desk at work, or hang it in his room on the starship he and Daddy and Spock were going to live on. Uncle Bones was going to get a clay hypo, the kind he liked to shoot Daddy with when Daddy was bad. Daddy was easy, he was going to get a starship. Not a real one, of course, one made of clay. It was Spock that was the hardest to decide what to make for. But Davey had seen that documentary Mr. Irving had shown them, that talked about Vulcan, and the funny looking harp thing. He also knew Spock had one of those harp things, and he could play it well. He’d played it for Daddy once, when Daddy and Davey were visiting his apartment. So that was what Davey would make for him. When he was done with his projects, Mr. Irving had promised to bake them in the oven so he could paint them!

These projects were real important. Davey wanted to apologize for making Spock and Daddy mad at each other. That was months ago, and they thought he’d forgotten, but he didn’t forget. It had taken Spock and Daddy a month to start acting all normal again, and he still caught them watching each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. At least he hadn’t made Spock leave. He celebrated Halloween and Thanksgiving with Daddy, Davey, and Uncle Bones. He still came over every night, and did work with Daddy. He’d started teaching Davey and Daddy Vulcan. But he wasn’t living with them any more, not like he had been when Daddy was scared of the Mean Man, Frank. Sometimes he looked sad when he looked at Daddy, and sometimes Daddy looked sad when he looked at Spock. So Davey was worried. He wanted things the way they had been, where Daddy loved Spock, and Spock loved Daddy, and everyone loved Davey.

No, that was a lie. And lies were bad. Daddy said so. No, what he wanted was like before, but only with Daddy and Spock knowing they loved each other. And maybe Spock would let Davey call him A’nirih, which he’d learned meant father in Vulcan. T’rila taught him that- she was the newest little girl in the class, and sometimes she’d speak to Davey in Vulcan.

So Davey spent the whole art period making clay objects. He finished Grandpa Chris’s Starfleet thingy, and was working on Spock’s harp when Miss Mira walked over to him. He didn’t like Miss Mira as much, she never let him do anything fun. And she was frowning now, like she didn’t like his projects. Davey would have called her stupid, but Daddy made him promise not to call anyone that after he’d said it to Spock.

“What are you working on, David?” she asked. He wrinkled his nose. She called him David, not Davey. And not in the way that Spock did, where he sounded like he _meant_ Davey anyway, but in the prissy teacher-y way that always came before someone yelling at him. Davey hated it.

“I’m making Christmas gifts.” He turned back to the clay, hoping she would get the message.

“Why aren’t you making cards?” Miss Mira pointed to the other children, who were busy making little piles of hot-dog folded paper.

“’Cause cards aren’t good enough this year. This year’s got to be special. Anyway, I _know_ how to make cards. Mr. Irving is helping me make sculpters.”

“Sculptures,” the teacher corrected, turning her frown on the male teacher.

“Tell her who they’re for, Davey,” Mr. Irving said, putting a hand on Davey’s shoulder. Mr. Irving would make her go away. He’s told Daddy that Miss Mira didn’t know how to deal with ‘genius’ children, and she should leave teaching Davey and some of the others to him. They hadn’t seen Davey listening. He hoped ‘genius’ was a good thing, and not like little Marky, who always sat in the corner and rocked all the time.

“This one’s for my Grandpa Chris. It’s a Starfleet ‘signia.”

“Insignia,” Mr. Irving corrected.

“Right. _In-_ signia. That. For Grandpa Chris’s starship. This one’s going to be for my Spock. It’s a Vulcan harp thingy. I don’t remember what they’re called.” Miss Mira opened her mouth like she was going to say something, so Davey held up the remaining bit of clay. “This is going to be for my Daddy and my Uncle Bones. Daddy’s getting a starship, and Uncle Bones is getting a hypo, ‘cause he likes to hypo Daddy when Daddy’s bad.”

“I see,” Miss Mira said, in the way that sounded like she smelled something stinky. Davey restrained himself from throwing some clay at her. He deserved a gold star for that!

“Davey is a very bright boy,” Mr. Irving said, “He’s very creative too. I think he would be bored making cards, like most of the other children. As you can see, several of our charges are making clay objects for their families. It is a good project for the advanced students.”

“I see,” Miss Mira huffed, and went back to the card-making kids.

“You kept your temper very well, Davey,” Mr. Irving praised. “I’m proud of you!” Davey smiled. Maybe he could ask Daddy for a cookie before dinner, since he was so good!

 

Three days, two fights, fourteen escape attempts, and six cookies later, Davey finished his gifts. He was very proud especially of the ones for Daddy and Spock. Mr. Irving praised him for them all, and showed him how to etch his name in the clay. It was a squiggly sort of scrawl, but clearly legible. It read ‘Davey G. Kirk’. Mr. Irving said it was good, but Miss Mira told him he should have put ‘David’ and not ‘Davey’. But Davey was what Daddy and Uncle Bones and Grandpa Chris called him. And Spock called him David, but he could tell he really meant Davey, so that was okay too. Davey asked Mr. Irving to not let Miss Mira touch his gifts.

The next day, Mr. Irving helped Davey wrap them in bright paper. They put them in small boxes first, so Daddy couldn’t guess what they were. Spock probably could guess even with the boxes, but Davey didn’t mind. Spock wouldn’t tell Daddy and ruin the surprise. Then they put them all in a bag, so that they could get them home without dropping them. Davey was excited. The next morning, Daddy was going to take Davey to see Santa at the mall. Some of the older kids said Santa wasn’t real, but Daddy said he was, and that was good enough for Davey.

Spock was with Daddy when he came to get Davey after school. Davey saw them from the window of the upstairs room, where he and T’rila were hiding from Miss Mira. She’d been meaner than usual this week, and Daddy said it was because she didn’t have any family to spend Christmas with. Davey thought that was sad, but if Miss Mira were _his_ family, he wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with her either. So when Marky threw a fit, Davey took a chance to escape. T’rila came with him because ‘it is logical you have a companion, in the event something should go wrong.’ Davey liked T’rila, she talked like his Spock, _and_ she liked to learn things like Davey, and she would speak to him in Vulcan. She wanted to be a scientist someday, and Davey said she could be science officer on his ship when he became a captain.

“Your father is accompanied by Commander Spock. I have noticed that this is a common occurrence. Are they engaged in a romantic relationship?” T’rila asked, looking out the window to where Daddy and Spock stood, talking.

“You mean do they do the kissing stuff?” Davey made a face. Yeah, he wanted Daddy and Spock to be together. But thinking about them kissing was _weird_.

“That is a usual part of human romantic relationships, is it not?” T’rila gave him the look that said ‘idiot’.

“Yeah. They don’t do that yet. They were goanna, I think, but I messed it up.”

“How?” Davey hadn’t told her that part, when he told her about September, and Frank, and Spock saving them. He’d been too sad about it then.

“Remember when I told you about when Spock saved Daddy and me? Daddy wouldn’t have gone to Iowa if he wasn’t mad at Spock. And he was mad at Spock because I upset him, an’ he got mad and said he didn’t have emotions. I was trying to get him to tell Daddy he loves him. But he made me cry when he said he didn’t have emotions. And Daddy doesn’t like it when people make me cry. So he got angry and yelled at Spock, and Spock told Daddy why I was sad, and that hurt Daddy, because he loves Spock too, and Spock said he didn’t feel. So Daddy took me to Iowa for a vacation. Only, Spock followed because Frank was goanna kill us. So that’s why. And then Daddy and Spock talked about why they were angry, and he told Spock he had to wait a year before they could love each other again.”

“A year is an extremely long time for them to wait, considering the amorous capacity of human males. Is your father certain his decision is wise?”

“I dunno. He said ‘anything can happen in a year’. I think he meant that he wants Spock and him to fix things before then. But he won’t do anything! Uncle Bones thinks it’s stupid. He told Daddy so. I heard him say ‘it’s a damn-fool decision, kid. Any idiot can see he’s in love with you. And for some reason only God knows, you love him too. Don’t torture yourself like this.’”

“What did your father say in return?” T’rila wanted to know, regarding him with curiosity.

“He said ‘I’m not rushing into something we’re not ready for. That’s what I did with Carol.” I think Carol is my mommy, but Daddy never talks about her when he knows I’m listening. He told Spock she didn’t want him or me. He said something else, but I don’t remember what it was.”

“Fascinating,” T’rila gave him that almost-smile, like Spock’s. “If you would allow me, perhaps I could enhance your recollection? I am interested in studying the dynamics of a Human/Vulcan partnership.”

Davey looked at her raised hand. “You wanna do the mind-thingy? Spock says it’s a real int-mate thing to do. Like touching hands. I can’t hold his hand anymore, because I’m not a Vulcan kid an’ I don’t know how to block out my thoughts. He says, only if I’m real afraid or something. Then I can hold his hand, if I ‘de-rive comfort from it.’”

“I understand if you do not wish me to see into your mind. My mother and father have both said that humans are immensely private of their own thoughts, and I have promised not to attempt a meld unless given permission. However, a mind meld is not always just between lovers. Siblings, parents, and close friends can also preform them as a showing of trust.” T’rila lowered her hand, looking a little disappointed.

“So it would be like you’re my sister?” Davey asked, liking the idea. He’d never had a sister.

“In a way, I suppose,” T’rila admitted.

“Then, okay.” The Vulcan girl approached him, hand raised to touch the side of his face. There was a brief flash of sensation at the contact, too swift for Davey to characterize it, and then he was

_Standing behind the door, listening to Daddy and Uncle Bones arguing. Daddy was sad, it had been a month since he and Davey had gone to Iowa, and Spock still wasn’t acting like normal. Davey was worried. He couldn’t have screwed things up that badly, could he? Did he make Spock and Daddy not love each other anymore?_

_“I’m not rushing into anything, Bones. That’s what I did with Carol, and you know how that ended. Yeah, I love Spock. But I don’t think he’s ready to admit that he loves me. He’s still all ‘vulcan-suppression-y’. If I hadn’t seen his face when Frank almost killed me, I_ still _wouldn’t believe it.”_

_“So you’re just going to sit back and let him drift away from you?” Uncle Bones was mad._

_“What else can I do, Bones? I don’t want to push too hard. He’s… Spock’s the best thing to happen to me since Davey. If I lose that…”_

_“You will, if you don’t straighten up and_ do _something! He’s not going to wait around forever. And you can’t keep repressing like this, it ain’t healthy. You haven’t gotten laid in, what, six months? And you’re not Vulcan. You need to let out your emotions.”_

_“I know, Bones. But it just feels… wrong, if it’s not Spock.”_

_“Goddamn it, kid!” Uncle Bones swore. He was using his ‘you’re being stupid’ voice._

_Daddy laughed. “I know. Do you think I wanted this? Hell, I never expected… But that’s how it is. I have to let him come to me, or not, in his own time. When he’s ready.”_

_“You’re a self-sacrificing idiot, you know that?” Uncle Bones called Daddy and idiot!_

_“Sure. And you aren’t?” Daddy was laughing now. “We make a fine pair, don’t we?”_

_“At least I wouldn’t let another chance at love walk out the door because I was too afraid to hurt him!”_

_“No. But you would let your ex ban you from seeing your kid because you thought you weren’t a good dad.”_

_Uncle Bones sucked in a breath. Daddy shouldn’t have said that! It was mean!_

_“Fuck. I’m sorry, Bones. I didn’t mean that. I’m just… frustrated by all of this.”_

_“I know kid, I know. But you’ve got to think about what this is doing to other people. I know I hate seeing you like this, and poor Davey is going out of his mind worrying about the pair of you.”_

_“Bones…”_

_“Okay, okay, I’ll drop it for now. But you think about what I said.”_

_“Alright. I’ll think about it. But now I’m going to bed. I’ve got a long day tomorrow.”_

_“Spock’s coming over tomorrow night.”_

_“Bones…”_

_“No, don’t ‘Bones’ me. You’re returning to a regular schedule. And that means Spock coming over every night. You two aren’t going to let go of each other if I can help it.”_

_Daddy sighed. “Alright. Alright, I’ll ask him if he’ll come.”_

_“And you’re having lunch together every day, not just twice a week like you’ve been.”_

_“Okay. Okay, I get it. Normal schedule, like it was before. But I’m not going to talk to him about dating. I said a year, and I meant it!”_

_Davey froze as footsteps paused at his door, then moved on. Once Daddy was gone, he heard Uncle Bones sigh._

_“Oh Jim. What am I going to do with you?”_

 

“Fascinating,” _T’rila’s voice said, inside his head._ “Your uncle seems as intent as you are on your father and Commander Spock pursuing a romantic relationship.”

“Yeah,” _Davey said, smiling. T’rila smiled too, he could feel it in his brain._ “He thinks Daddy’s being stupid, too.”

“I would like to meet your Uncle Bones. He sounds like a sensible man.”

“Spock doesn’t think so!” _Davey warned, but he thought she could feel him getting excited about the idea._ “Maybe your parents will let you come over for dinner sometime?”

_T’rila thought about it. Davey could tell because she fell silent, but she was still in his head. At last, he felt a warm confirmation._ “The idea has merit. I will ask my parents.”

 

“Yay!” Davey said out loud, as T’rila broke the connection. “Maybe you can come Friday. That’s Macaroni Night.”

“Is that the traditional name for the day after Christmas?” T’rila asked. Davey laughed.

“No. I don’t think there is one. Unless it’s something about boxing? Nope, Macaroni Night is every Friday night with my Daddy and me, when we make Macaroni-and-Cheese.”

“I see. I would enjoy trying this Macaroni-and-Cheese.”

Davey was about to start telling her about it, when the door to the room they were hiding in opened.

“A-hah! I thought I heard an escapee’s voice in here!” Daddy stuck his head around the door. “Over here Spock, I found him!”

“Hi Daddy!” Davey ran up to his father to give him a hug. Daddy’s hug was brief, and he got down on his knees to look Davey in the eyes.

“What have I told you about escaping from your teachers, Davey?”

“That it’s bad, and I shouldn’t do it ‘cause they work hard to teach me. But Daddy, Miss Mira yelled at T’rila when she wouldn’t eat the chicken fingers we had for lunch. And then she told me I shouldn’t write my name on my gifts for you ‘cause I signed them Davey instead of David. She’s mean and she’s stupid and I don’t like her!”

Daddy exchanged a dark look with Spock, who had come up behind him while Davey was talking.

“It is true, Lieutenant Kirk,” T’rila said, standing beside Davey. “Miss Mira harbors an irrational grudge against David and myself, perhaps because our intelligence tests report higher scores than her own, though we are only five earth years of age. She does not like the differences we display from the other children, and seeks to have us conform to her expectations of average five-year-old humans. However, it is not logical. I am not human, and David is not average. I have come to question hoe a woman such as she ever became a teacher at a Starfleet facility.”

“T’rila is quite right,” Spock added, and Davey was glad. If Spock backed him up, maybe Daddy wouldn’t punish him with a time-out or no dessert tonight. “This teacher should not be given care of a diverse group of children if she does not know how to care for them despite their differences.”

In the end, it was worth the scolding and the time-out (only ten minutes this time, so Daddy wasn’t really angry, just enforcing the rules!) to hear Spock and Daddy scolding Miss Mira. T’rila deemed the experience satisfactory, though Davey could tell that she was also pleased when her own father came to Daddy’s assistance. T’rila wasn’t punished at all- she hadn’t done anything her daddy told her not to do. And the school administration had to come listen, because Spock and Daddy and T’rila’s dad wouldn’t leave until something was done. Miss Mira cried, and Davey wasn’t sorry at all. (Well, maybe a bit.)

Davey didn’t have to go to school for a while after that. Christmas break was two weeks, and Daddy had all two weeks off to spend time with Davey. Spock had some leave time too, and they were goanna take a trip together the week after Christmas to go visit Grandma in her ship. He was almost as excited about that as about giving Daddy and Spock their gifts.

 

On Christmas morning, Davey woke up in his own bed at seven, despite the fact that he’d tried to stay up all night by the tree, waiting for Santa. He hadn’t seen him, but when he ran into the family room to check, there was the empty glass of milk and plate of cookie crumbs, sitting next to a brightly wrapped gift for Davey.

Too excited to wait for Daddy to get up, he pushed open the door and jumped up onto the bed. Daddy snored loudly.

“Wake up, Daddy!” Davey yelled, bouncing on the mattress. Daddy mumbled and let out a loud snort. “I know you’re pretending! It’s time for _presents_!” Davy jumped again, throwing himself on top of Daddy.

“Ouch, watch it, kiddo!” Daddy cried, sitting up. “That’s my spleen you’re knee’s in.”

“Okay. Can we open presents now?” Davey was anxious, but not really for his own presents. He wanted to open them, sure, but he wanted Daddy and Spock and Uncle Bones to open theirs first.

“Hold it. I doubt your uncle Bones is up yet. And we can’t start until Spock gets here. You promised, remember?”

“When is Spock goanna get here?” Davey demanded, looking at Daddy’s comm unit on the table.

“I don’t know. What time is it?” Daddy yawned and stretched.

“Seven-oh-five. _Please_ , Daddy?”

“Oh alright.” Daddy threw back the covers, getting up out of bed. “Do I have time to get dressed, or should I call Spock now?”

“Now, Daddy, now!” Davey handed him the comm.

 

Half an hour later, after Uncle Bones had insisted on getting dressed first (Daddy stayed in his pajamas, the stripey pair Davey had given him last Christmas,) and Spock arrived, they were finally ready to start present opening.

“Okay Davey, who should go first?” Daddy asked, knowing how Davey usually answered. He liked to jump up and shout ‘Me! Me!” at the top of his lungs. But not this year. This year, he ducked behind the couch, where he had put his bag with the gifts in it after Daddy had gone to sleep.

“I want Spock to go first!” Davey said, handing Spock his box.

“Thank you, David,” Spock said, gravely accepting the gift. But Davey (and Daddy!) could tell that he was smiling inside.

“I made it just for you!” Davey told him. “Mr. Irving only helped a little, but the shape and the paint I did all by myself.”

“I believe you did,” Spock said, carefully tearing off the wrapping. He was one of those slow openers who didn’t like to rip the paper. Davey didn’t see the point, it was going to get ripped anyway, so why not take it off the quick way? At last, the box was open, and Daddy gasped.

“Davey, it’s beautiful,” he said, as Spock examined the miniature harp with careful fingers. After painting it, Davey and Mr. Irving had strung it with dental floss. It made a pretty sound, but not like the real thing.

“I thank you, David. It is, indeed, beautiful. May I ask what prompted you to make a ka'athyra?”

“After T’rila joined the class, Mr. Irving showed us a documentary on Vulcan. I remember you playing the harp-thing - kathra- and thought you might like a small one for your office. It doesn’t really play, though. I’m sorry.”

Spock plucked the strings of the tiny instrument. “It has a pleasing sound to it. I am most gratified by your gift, T’kam’la.”

“T’kam what?” Davey asked, pleased by Spock’s response. He could tell, Spock was secretly impressed!

“T’kam’la. It means ‘cherished student’, a child one cares for as they were a blood relation.”

“You’re calling me family?” Davey asked. Spock inclined his head. Davey squealed and threw himself at Spock for a hug, narrowly avoiding crushing the precious gift. When he looked up, Daddy was smiling fondly at them. _This is good_ , Davey thought. “Daddy next!”

“What about your present from Santa, squirt?” Daddy asked, nudging the small box with his hand.

“That’s okay,” Davey told him, bringing out the box for Daddy. “I want to see you open yours first!”

Daddy wasn’t a careful paper opener like Spock, he was a ripper like Davey. He pulled the paper off in one motion, leaving the small bits of it still taped to the box. Davey watched him open it, pleased by the slow smile that spread over his face as he saw the contents.

“Is this…?” he asked, gently drawing the small silver starship from the box.

“It’s the _Enterprise_ , Daddy! ‘Cause one day you’ll be the captain, and Spock’ll be your first officer. Uncle Bones can be your CMO, and Grandma your chief engineer. And I’ll go to school and become your pilot!”

“This is… wow. Davey, I don’t know what to say. This is amazing!” Davey beamed. “Spock, would you like to see?” Daddy offered the small ship to Spock, and Davey was happy to see their fingers brush as the sculpture changed hands. Spock let Daddy see his harp, and they both smiled at each other. _It worked_! Davey thought, triumphantly.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Uncle Bones asked, looking grumpy at being up so early.

“You are human, Doctor,” Spock said. “It is impossible for you to also be a food item many people dislike.”

Daddy laughed. It was a good sound.

“No, Uncle Bones. This one’s for you!” Davey handed him his box, leaving only the box for Grandpa Chris in the bag.

“Is the last box for your grandma?” Daddy asked. Davey shook his head.

“No, Daddy. Remember? I sent her a necklace and earrings in that box we sent last month. That way she gets her present today!”

“Hey, Davey, this is cool!” Uncle Bones had opened his box in a sort of compromise between the ripping and the careful tearing methods, grabbing the paper at the tape and pulling. He now held his little hypo in his hands. “Does it really work?”

“No, Uncle Bones. It’s clay. I thought you could put it on your desk to scare people with the pointy bit.” Daddy laughed again.

“Kid’s got a point, Bones. Look at that poker on the end! I think you could actually kill someone with that thing!”

“It’s not _that_ long,” Uncle Bones argued, touching the point with a finger. Davey had gotten a needle from the sewing kit Daddy and Uncle Bones kept in the house for emergencies, and put it in at the end, adding to the realistic look.

“It could still do significant damage as a weapon, Doctor,” Spock told him. “David is right, it would be quite efficient in frightening patients.”

“You should keep it in the med-bay on the _Enterprise_ , once we get our mission,” Daddy added. "Scare the nurses into behaving.”

Uncle Bones’ response was to throw a pillow at Daddy. What followed was an epic pillow fight that would later be known as ‘The Battle of Christmas Morning’ by everyone involved, and reenacted annually. Spock sat on the outside, and judged, eventually declaring Davey the winner, as both Daddy and Uncle Bones were panting with exhaustion but Davey was still going when it ended.

After that, Davey opened all his presents. Daddy gave him three Starfleet uniforms, one for each color. Uncle Bones gave him a real working tri-corder, which he was determined to take to school to show T’rila. She would appreciate the significance of it, and the impact it could have on their class science experiments. Spock gave him a Vulcan logic game and his own chess set, with the promise he and Daddy would teach Davey to play. The promise that both of them together would teach him meant even more to Davey than the chess set itself.

From Grandma, he got a book of stories about the adventures of Admiral Archer, back when he was just Captain Archer. Some of Daddy and Spock’s friends had given him clothes, and in his stocking he also found an orange. Actually, everyone had an orange in their stockings.

“Family tradition,” Daddy explained, when Uncle Bones asked. “Everyone gets an orange and some candy. They counter-act each other.” Then Uncle Bones had to explain that that wasn’t how it worked, and Spock stepped in to support Daddy, even though Davey thought maybe Uncle Bones was right. It didn’t matter though, he liked oranges _and_ candy. Daddy, who was allergic to oranges, had a banana instead.

 

After presents, they went to go see Grandpa Chris. He loved Davey’s gift too, putting it in a place of honor on his desk. He gave Davey a real Starfleet badge, which was really nice. Davey didn’t have the heart to tell him Daddy had given him one the year before. They had Christmas Dinner with Grandpa Chris, and Davey got the big side of the wishbone from the turkey. He wished that Daddy and Spock would kiss soon. Wished with all his might. And when anyone asked him what he’d wished for, he refused to tell them. After all, wishes don’t come true if you tell them first.

 

When they got back from Christmas break, Miss Mira was gone and Davey and T’rila were in a different class with Mr. Irving and an Orion woman who liked to give them hard math problems for fun. T’rila said this class was ‘an improvement’. Davey said it was awesome. The other students could actually keep up with him! His tricorder was welcomed by the whole class, and for a while Davey was the star of the group for a whole week because of it and his toy starship. Best of all, when they thought he’d gone to bed, Davey heard Spock and Daddy talking about when Spock called him T’kam’la on Christmas morning, and Daddy said he liked it, and Spock agreed. Maybe Davey would get them together sooner than he had hoped!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! And thank you very much for your comments! I love getting feedback from you.
> 
> In response to the concern over Jim's imposed year-long ban on talking about a relationship, he only said they'd wait to talk about it on purpose for a year. But, like he said, anything can happen in a year! I think he's being over cautious. 
> 
> It looks like I'm getting to be regular at updating on Saturdays. I can't promise an update every week yet, but I'm going to make Saturday my official update day. Next story arc should prove interesting for our boys!
> 
> See you all next chapter!  
> Love,  
> Alice


	16. Of Promotions and Away Missions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim gets a promotion, and then they get an away mission. Or- Jim and Spock talk a lot, just not about what they really need to be saying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16 is mostly fluff, because Spock and Jim talk too much. It does set up the next few chapters, however. I hope you enjoy!

Despite popular opinion, Spock quite enjoyed teaching advanced Vulcan to the xenolinguistics class. Of particular note was one Cadet Nyota Uhura, who was arguably the most talented cadet in her year. Spock also found her company pleasant, and had done nothing to discourage her when she sought him out for extra tutoring. That being said, there was such a thing as too eager. This was his third private meeting with her, this week alone. If he had not thought such a thing impossible, he would have thought her interest in him went beyond the educational. And now, her frequent attempts at socialization with him were beginning to cut into his time with Jim. If this meeting did not finish soon, he would risk being late for dinner.

Speaking of Jim, things had been… odd recently. It was nearing six months from when he had nearly ruined their relationship. There had been a month where they seemed to drift apart, and Spock accepted part of the blame for that- he had been afraid to say something else and further damage his friendship. But then Jim had sat down in front of him at lunch- though they had stopped eating every meal together- and declared that they were both being stupid. Spock could see Doctor McCoy watching them, and suspected he had put Jim up to it. Spock was grateful. Their relationship had resumed its former state, with one difference- they were both aware of their mutual attraction. But Jim’s year-long ban on talking about _that_ still stood. And Spock was beginning to think he would not be able to wait a year after all.

“Sir? Are you alright?” Cadet Uhura was looking at him with some concern, and Spock realized that he had allowed his attention to wander for a few seconds as he thought of Jim.

“I apologize, Cadet. I was merely thinking of the things I have left to do today. Now, you said you had a question? I presume it is about the grammatical structure of pre-Surak Vulcan, if your past inquiries have been any indication.”

“Yes and no actually. I have a question on the grammar, but I also had a more personal question.” She looked uncharacteristically nervous.

“I see,” Spock sat back in his chair, giving her his full attention. What personal question could she have for him?

“Well, sir, I was wondering-“ her gaze was caught by the picture of Jim and David at Disneyland that Spock still kept on his desk. “Who is that, sir?”

Spock considered his answer. He could simply say ‘a co-worker and his son’ or ‘Jim and David Kirk’, but that wasn’t all either was to him. And the cadet must know Jim, at least in passing. It was rare any cadet got to their third year without taking one of his combat courses.

“I believe you know of Lieutenant Kirk?” Spock asked, instead.

“Yes sir.” She frowned a little. “I was in his advanced hand-to-hand combat class last semester.”

“Curious,” Spock observed, “your tone of voice indicates dislike. Has the lieutenant offended you in some way?”

“Nooo,” Cadet Uhura hedged, “it’s just, he’s known as a bit of a womanizer, sir. He’s really arrogant, too.”

“Fascinating.” A womanizer and arrogant… those were two words Spock would never have used to describe Jim Kirk. As far as Spock knew (and there was only .43 percent chance he was wrong) Jim had not been active sexually with a woman (or man) since meeting Spock. And while his friend liked to project an aura of confidence, Spock knew the man well enough to be certain that it was all for show.

“You don’t agree, sir?” the cadet asked, watching him carefully.

“I do not. While Jim is fond of engaging in verbal expression of physical appreciation, I have not known him to seek out women for sexual pleasure. He claims to have no time for dating, as his is expended in care of his son. He is also confidant in his abilities, but has every right to be- he does not boast of skills he does not have.”

“I see…” she was thoughtful, adding Spock’s observations to the image she already had of Jim. “Is this his son?” The question was simple, but Spock thought he could sense an underlying question ‘is this his son, and why do you have a picture of them on your desk?’

“Yes. I purchased this picture on a day trip to Disneyland, where we celebrated David’s fifth birthday. As many of my co-workers have pictures of their families on their desks, I thought it was appropriate that I have a picture of Jim and David on mine.”

“But they’re not your family, sir. Are they?”

“Not in the sense that we are bound by marriage or blood. However, though it is un-Vulcan of me, I admit that Jim Kirk is my friend.” A year ago, perhaps even six months ago, Spock might have refused to utter such an admission. Now, though, there could be no doubt about his friendship with Jim, and it was illogical to deny the obvious.

“Oh.” Cadet Uhura’s eyes widened. She had spoken to Spock before about whether or not Vulcans could feel friendship, or love, though he had done his best to avoid the conversation. The cadet had been very persistent in raising the topic, until Spock had finally given in and allowed her to ask her questions. It had been a fascinating conversation. If she were not his student, Spock would perhaps consider the cadet a friend as well.

“Now, you had two questions, Cadet Uhura?”

“Yes. Um, I was wondering-“ she glanced at the photo, seemingly conflicted. “I was wondering if-“

Whatever it was the cadet was wondering about, her question was interrupted by loud banging on the door to Spock’s office.

“Spock!” Jim’s voice called, more excited than normal. “Spock! Spock!”

“Spock! Spock! Spock!” David’s young voice chimed in, with a smaller pattering of knocks under Jim’s firm ones.

“Enter,” Spock fought a smile. As soon as the door slid open, David was running across the room and jumping into Spock’s lap. Jim entered almost as quickly, a huge grin splitting his face. “Spock! Guess what! I- Oh,” he stopped and smiled a little sheepishly. “Sorry, Cadet, Spock. Spock didn’t tell me he had a meeting for this time. I wouldn’t have just barged in, if I’d known.”

“No need, Jim. This meeting was unplanned. What brings you here? I thought we were to meet at your apartment tonight?”

Cadet Uhura was looking between them with a confused frown. “Sir, um,”

“May we continue this meeting tomorrow, Cadet?” Spock asked. She nodded, taking her leave. By the time they met the next day, she seemed to have forgotten whatever question she had that was not related to the Vulcan language.

“Ouch. Sticky situation,” Jim observed as she left. Spock lifted an eyebrow at him.

“Explain.”

“Well, she’s your student, right? The one you’ve been saying is so smart?”

“Indeed. Cadet Uhura is perhaps the best in her class at language acquisition and interpretation.”

“Yeah. Her. Well, it looks like she has the hots for you. Pretty bad, if the way she glared at me when I entered was any indication.”

“The ‘hots’, Jim?” Spock ignored the idea of the cadet glaring at him. He must have imagined it.

“Means she likes you. _Like_ -likes you. Wants to get in your pants. You know,” he waved his hand, indicating whatever those phrases were supposed to mean, “she wants to _date_ you.”

“Certainly not. It would be entirely inappropriate, considering that I am her teacher. Also, I have no romantic feelings for the cadet in any way. She knows this.”

“Good,” Jim sat on the edge of his desk, picking up the picture and looking at it. “Huh, nice picture. I didn’t know you’d bought one that day.”

“I found it an aesthetically pleasing image.” Spock took the frame from his hands and replaced it in its proper place, next to his computer.

“Huh,” Jim was momentarily distracted.

“Jim, was there a reason you made an entirely futile attempt to beat my door down before I allowed you entrance into my office?” Spock asked, shifting David into a more comfortable position on his lap.

“Oh, yeah!” Jim immediately brightened. “I told you Chris called me in for a meeting today, yeah?”

Spock inclined his head.

“Yeah. Well, guess what he wanted to talk to me about?”

“I cannot,” Spock told him, knowing Jim was excited to tell him whatever it was.

“I’m being promoted!! You’re now talking to Commander James Tiberius Kirk.” He puffed out his chest, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

“Congratulations, Commander,” Spock told him, losing the fight to keep the corners of his mouth from lifting in a slight smile. He found he didn’t mind.

“Yeah! _And_ , I’m going to be head of security on the _Enterprise_! Chris said she ships out next year, so he wants to start training his senior crew together now. This is great! Bones is going to be working under the CMO, you’ll be the XO, and Davey has permission to live on the ship. My quarters are being given an extra bedroom, just for him!”

Jim’s joy was infections. “It is indeed a pleasing occurrence,” Spock admitted, remembering the pleasure he had felt upon receiving the announcement of Jim’s promotion days earlier.

Jim’s eyes narrowed. “You knew,” he accused. “Chris or someone already told you!”

“Two weeks ago,” Spock confirmed, “In a meeting about the potential senior bridge crew. I had suggested you for tactical officer, before Captain Pike informed me of his decision.”

“You suggested…” Jim’s eyes widened, before he laughed, and pointed at Spock. “No skirting the subject, mister. You knew, and you didn’t tell me!”

“I could not. Captain Pike had me swear not to tell you before he did.”

“Okay. I get it. Chris can be a scary guy. But _still_ , you could have _hinted_ or something!”

“You expected me to disobey a direct order?”

“No, not disobey exactly, but…” Jim searched for a term to fit his meaning.

“You meant me to circumvent my orders by first finding and then exploiting a loophole, enabling me to inform you of your promotion.”

“Um, yeah?” Jim gave him his ‘look-at-me-I’m-adorable’ grin. Spock wasn’t fazed. They stared each other down, until David got bored (which meant exactly seven seconds.)

“I’m hungry,” he announced.

“Well then, let’s go get you some food. What do you want, kiddo? Lasagna?” Jim slid off the desk, taking David in his arms.

“Umm… I want chicken fingers!”

“Hmm. We don’t have any of those in the house right now. Wouldn’t you rather have spaghetti?”

“Chicken fingers!”

“Or how about meatloaf? You love meatloaf!”

“If I may,” Spock interjected, used to the daily arguments about dinner- the only day David didn’t try to change the menu was Macaroni Night. Jim and David looked at him.

“I believe it is human custom to celebrate good news by a practice known as ‘eating out’. Perhaps we can go to a restaurant where we will all be satisfied by the culinary offerings.”

“YAY!” David bounced in Jim’s arms. “Spock wants to go out to eat! Can we, Daddy? Can we? Huh?”

“Well,” Jim shot Spock a pleased look, “maybe. If Uncle Bones says it’s alright.”

“I’ll call him and ask!” David said, fishing in Jim’s pocket for his comm.

 

Several weeks later, Jim once again came into Spock’s office, moving in what could only be described as a ‘bounce’. He waved a PADD at Spock with a grin, startling some cadets who had been loitering in the hall outside the staff offices. “Spock! Guess what?”

“This seems to be becoming a common greeting, Jim.” Spock had some idea of what Jim had come to tell him, though he himself had yet to receive the details. Captain Pike had mentioned an upcoming mission for the future _Enterprise_ command team.

“Yep!” Jim laughed, sliding the PADD across Spock’s desk. It bumped the picture of Jim and David, and Jim readjusted it with two careless fingers. For some reason, that image made Spock repress a smile.

“So…” Jim attempted to raise an eyebrow, the effect quite comical.

“Yes, Jim?”

“Are you going to guess?”

“If I must,” Spock felt the corners of his mouth twitch in an attempt to smile. Jim gave a small laugh. “I would say that it is likely that we have an assignment from Captain Pike, perhaps a training exercise or a short mission designed to test how well the future command crew of the _Enterprise_ will work together.”

“You already knew, didn’t you?” Jim frowned at him.

“I made an educated guess based on the likelihood of such an occurrence, coupled with a knowledge of your personality and responses to various information. Though several things could cause this amount of excitement in you, a mission is the most likely.”

“So basically, you’re saying you know me too well, huh?” The frown had disappeared in favor of a grin. Spock inclined his head. “Fair enough. So, want to know the details of the mission?”

“I believe you are going to tell me anyway,” Spock said, pulling the PADD the rest of the way across the desk and turning on the display. It promptly showed him a folder with several files in it, including a standard mission summary. Jim crossed behind the desk, leaning across Spock’s shoulder to bring up a list of names.

“It’s going to be you, me, Pike, Bones, and Commander Olson, with some cadets being considered for the _Enterprise_. Pavel Chekov- he’s only fifteen- almost sixteen, he told me, but he’s one hell of a navigator. _And_ he’s a brilliant physicist.

“Hikaru Sulu, helmsman. He’s the best pilot in his year, possibly the best that’s come through the academy in the past ten.

“Gaila- her last name’s Morakos, but Orions don’t use them publicly- who’s one of the best at coding. Also really hot.” Jim laughed when Spock raised an eyebrow at him.

“Your cadet Uhura, who Pike also says is the best linguist in the fleet, is also coming. She might try to sneak in some quality time with you on the ship, if you know what I mean.”

“Jim,” Spock tried to sound reproving, leveling a glare at his friend. “Cadet Uhura, while she admittedly seems to enjoy my company, is not interested in romantic involvement with me, as I have said no less that fifteen times in the past week.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” Just like all the other times Spock had attempted to make this point, Jim seemed far from convinced. Spock decided to let it go for now. If he could just convince Jim to stop holding to the illogical limit he had set, Spock would be able to prove beyond doubt that Jim had nothing to worry about from Cadet Uhura.

“Anyway, last on the list is Cupcake. Pike wants him on my security team. The guy’s an ass, but he is good with a phaser, I’ll give him that.”

“I do not believe the cadet’s name is really ‘Cupcake,’ Jim. Humans have many strange naming customs, but I don’t believe I’ve yet encountered a human named after a confectionary.”

Jim sighed and made a couple gestures on the display, changing the last name on the list to a Cadet Barry Giotto. “His name’s Giotto, but Cupcake suits him much better, don’t you think?”

“As I have not met the cadet, I could not say,” Spock said. Jim pouted.

“You’re no fun.”

“I see. Is that why you spend ninety three percent of your free time in my company?”

“I don’t- ninety three percent? Really?” Jim’s jaw dropped open. “Did you actually just calculate that?”

“Yes, Jim. Of time not spent caring for your son, working or sleeping, you most often are in my presence. Eighty percent of that time, David is also with us. I also estimate my presence when you are involved in parental duties to be nearly sixty-seven percent.”

“Huh. That’s… wow. I didn’t think about that before. I hope Bones doesn’t feel left out.” Jim was still standing by Spock’s shoulder, leaning across it to manipulate the PADD. Spock could feel some sort of energy humming between them, and consciously commanded his heart rate to slow to normal speeds.

“As the doctor is present at forty six percent of the time, and you often spend the other seven percent of your free hours solely in his company, I am certain he has no reason to feel neglected.”

“So when did you do these calculations, Mr. Spock?” Jim took a step back, leaning against the desk with a teasing glint in his eyes.

“I updated them a little less than a week ago, allowing for adjustment to your new duties and your promotion.”

“That doesn’t answer the question, Spock. How long have you been paying attention to how much time we spend together, huh?” Jim was grinning now.

“There is no logical reason for you to need to know this,” Spock said, attempting a stern glare. It did no more good than any other time he had leveled the look at his friend.

“Nope. But I’m illogical. You’ve said so yourself. So. Spill.”

Jim stared at him expectantly, until Spock let out a soft breath and allowed the smile that was threatening to surface show in the corners of his mouth. “I first noticed about ten months ago, but I only began actively keeping track in the past six months.”

“The past six… oh.” Jim’s face fell as he caught the implications of Spock’s statement. “I was kinda being an ass about then, huh? I’m sorry.”

“No, Jim,” Spock ached to reach out and touch his friend, wanting more than anything erase that look of pain from his beautiful features. “I bear much of that burden as well. I was uncertain if my company was welcome after having so thoroughly offended you, and was unwilling to force myself upon you. If I had not spoken so rashly, we would never have fought. And if we had not fought, there would have been no logical reason to avoid each other.”

“But then you wouldn’t have been there to save me and Davey, or to talk about, y’know, what we’re not talking about again for another six months. Hell, you followed us after I practically ditched you, and I still let myself be mad at you. It was stupid.”

“Perhaps,” Spock ventured, thinking about what his mother had said when he spoke to her about that month, “we were both being highly illogical. In any case, that situation is resolved for now, and I do not intend to avoid you again.”

“Me neither. That month sucked balls.” Jim sighed, then shook his head. “What are we doing being all maudlin for? We’ve got a mission in three days!” He leaned back over Spock’s arm, pulling the mission summary up on the PADD. “It’s going to be awesome!”

“I see. Are we traveling off planet?” Spock could simply check his own messages, certain the files were there, but decided to let Jim tell him first.

“Yep! We’re going to Kepral 9. It’s an unexplored planet, class M. Preliminary scans show no signs of sentient life, but we’re to take samples of plant matter, soil, and air to bring back for testing, to see if it’s a good candidate for a new colony. It’s pretty straightforward as missions go, I think Pike wants us to start on something easy before he commits to this particular team.”

“Is there any particular reason why Doctor Puri will not be accompanying us?” Spock asked, double checking with the crew list to be certain the future CMO’s name wasn’t there.

Jim nodded. “Yeah, there’s this big medical conference in New York the day after we leave. Bones was bitching about having to miss it. Puri decided the conference was more important, he’ll be with us on the next mission.”

“I see. Then, it seems we have some preparation to do, if we are to leave in three days’ time. Is your mother going to take care of David while we are gone?”

“No,” Jim chuckled. “He’s actually going to be staying with a friend of his. Remember that Vulcan kid, T’rila? She went on about the logic of a cultural exchange when I picked Davey up earlier. When Davey started begging, I said she could ask her parents- totally expecting them to say no, mind you- but she called them up right then. They gave her a communicator for Christmas, after that fiasco with the teacher and Davey and the kids running away. So she called them, and explained her ‘logical argument’ and they said yes, and they’re going to come over tomorrow night to talk about the details.”

“I see.” Spock remembered the girl. Her parents were lieutenants, stationed on the _Farragut_ , earthside for a year while the ship was undergoing major upgrades to its vital systems.

“My son got hijacked by a five-year old, Spock! She had a solid argument for why Davey should stay with her, despite only hearing that he needed a place to stay a minute before she started speaking! I couldn’t even argue, because everything she said made sense. It’s… Spock, I was outwitted by a preschooler. That’s so not cool!”

“Need I remind you that T’rila is Vulcan? Vulcan children are often more mature and mentally capable than humans their own age.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. The kid’s Vulcan, Vulcans are smart and logical and better at everything, so it makes sense that she’d have a good argument.” The teasing gleam was back in Jim’s eyes. “Seems like my kid’s going to be learning a whole lot more about Vulcans while we’re gone. If I come back and he asks to start being vegetarian and studying logic, I’m blaming you.”

“That is illogical, considering that I have known David for over a year, and he has not once expressed interest in following any of Surak’s teachings. If such a thing were to happen, logically, it would then be caused by another factor in his life, such as a young woman he wishes to impress.”

Jim snorted. “He’s _five_ , Spock. He’s almost at the age where all human boys think that all girls are icky. And besides, my money’s still on Joanna being his first girlfriend.” The conversation devolved from there, Jim’s statements encroaching on the ridiculous as he tried to explain the maturation of human males. Spock was quite certain that there was never a time when human females gave off something called ‘cooties’, though he did wonder how the pulling of hair in the style referred to as ‘pigtails’ could indicate romantic intent in adolescent humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one was so short. Originally, it was a lot longer, but cutting it here felt more natural than the original plan. On the bright side, that does mean there will be an update next week for sure. Thank you so much for reading!


	17. Expect the Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jim and Spock go on an away mission, it is anything but routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been... a long time. A really long time. I'm awfully sorry about that. I ended up getting pretty sick, and had to be transported from my site to the nearest western hospital for surgery. I'm alright now though, and to make up for my long absence, I give you two new chapters!
> 
> I'm also planning on a regular update schedule once again. Every two weeks, on Sunday, check for another chapter of David!
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with me, even though I've been absent for so long. Please enjoy!

The trip out to the Kepral system was uneventful. Two days at warp three brought them within the orbit of Kepral 9, an earth-sized planet with very little to distinguish it from the thousands of other Class M planets in the universe. They beamed down with the science equipment, Spock leading Doctor McCoy, Cadet Sulu (who was a knowledgeable botanist in addition to being a talented pilot) and Cadet Chekov in sample collecting. Captain Pike and Jim led the remaining crewmembers in a survey of the landing area, taking note of any interesting landmarks or places where the science team might find the samples they needed. As missions went, Spock believed it to be relatively straightforward. However, as soon as he gave voice to that thought, everything changed.

In moments, Captain Pike was running back towards Spock and the science team, phaser drawn. The sounds of weapons fire could be heard in the direction Jim had last been seen with Cadets Giotto and Uhura. Anticipating the order, Spock drew his own weapon and fell in beside his captain.

“Klingons,” the captain panted, “We didn’t expect them this far into Federation territory.”

“Are you certain?” A spike of fear rose in Spock’s mind. Jim had never encountered Klingons before, and had not been prepared for any chance of hostile activity on the planet. Scans had reported it completely devoid of sentient life, so even the security officer had only his standard-issue sidearm- and Klingons come heavily armed.

“Saw them myself,” Pike gestured in the direction he’d come, where he must have split off from the others. While Spock wished for more of an explanation, now was not the time. He would later learn that Captain Pike had wanted to see how Jim would handle the ‘security team’ under his command without the captain there, and so had deliberately drifted off to ‘examine some indigenous plant life’ while ordering Jim to continue exploring without him. Ten or twenty minutes later, he’d rounded a hill to see a small party of Klingons. Fortunately, he had seen them before they saw him, and had a few seconds before he was noticed and pursued- enough time to put some distance between himself and the Klingon phasers. After a chase through the local forest, the captain had assumed he had lost his pursuers, and attempted to return to the other officers- he could not alert them to his status because his comm had been knocked from his hand as he escaped by a phaser blast that came uncomfortably close to actually hitting him.

Unbeknownst to the captain or Spock, he had not actually shaken his pursuit. He had simply gained some distance from them, and they were following his trail. This war party was soon in evidence behind Spock and the captain, shouts and phaser-fire announcing they were indeed in pursuit. Spock’s science team, a little late on the uptake, drew their weapons. In addition to the usual phaser, Cadet Sulu had an ingenious retractable sword. Unfortunately for him, he did not get to use it. A blast of light tore through his right shoulder, another through his leg, drawing a cry of pain from the cadet. Cadet Chekov yelled, rushing to his friend’s side. Doctor McCoy cursed, and, showing surprising strength, lifted the injured man over his shoulder and started running. The cadet remained conscious, attempting to retrieve the doctor’s phaser from its holster on his hip.

“Retreat!” Pike barked out the order, spurring Cadet Chekov into action, though it was unclear exactly what they were running towards- another Klingon war party, perhaps. They weren’t to find out, because in that instant, Spock felt something rip through his leg and he fell. The cadet and captain called his name, halting to assist him. That proved their undoing, as the momentary delay allowed the Klingons to capture all three. The last thing Spock saw for a long while was Cadet Sulu’s face as Doctor McCoy continued to retreat, unable to save Spock or his companions.

 

In his dreams, he was Jim. Klingons surrounded him on three sides, trapping his small team against a steep hill. They could climb it to get away, but doing so would leave them even more exposed than they already were. At least here, they had the scant cover offered by a few boulders.

“Jim!” He turned to the sound of his name, firing his phaser into a Klingon about to charge Giotto. Over the hill came Bones, carrying Sulu. The cadet was bleeding, obviously wounded. Jim looked over his friend’s shoulder, expecting Spock to be right behind him, but there was nobody there. A knot of worry formed in his chest, but he pushed it aside. Now was not the time, and Spock could take care of himself.

“Bones, get Sulu into that cave,” he indicated a dark opening in the hill beside them, hardly a cave at all, but at least enough shelter to cover their backs. “Uhura, anything?”

The cadet crouched behind Giotto, working feverishly on her comm. “No sir, something’s blocking communications.”

“Damn. Right, fall back.”

The cadets and Bones followed his orders, retreating to the cave. There were only ten Klingons that they could see, but every time they killed one, another came out of nowhere to take its place. The cadets fought well, and Jim raised his estimation of Giotto.  The kid could handle a phaser, taking out three Klingons within seconds of each other as he backed away.

Once they reached the small shelter, everything faded to a blur in Jim’s memory, shouting orders and automatically killing Klingons. Sometime in the fight, Gaila and Olson joined them, returning from scouting another area, a task Jim had given them before the Klingons attacked. Somehow, Gaila had managed to acquire one of the Klingon’s phaser rifles, and proved quite deadly with it. The weapon was nearly twice as long as Starfleet phasers, with a wicked point on the end that looked like it could be used as a spear. Anyone who got within close range of one would have been lucky to be alive at the end of the fight.

And so it went for nearly an hour, Bones trying to heal Sulu with limited supplies; Giotto standing protectively over Uhura as she attempted to contact the ship, or the captain, or anyone; Sulu, on his feet again, firing steadily over Jim’s shoulder; and most of all the unending stream of Klingons. Finally, when Jim felt he was about to drop from exhaustion, the onslaught ceased. The last Klingon fell, shot by one of them, perhaps even Jim himself. Distantly, Spock felt relief that Jim had escaped relatively unharmed.

“Where the fuck did they come from?” he heard himself ask, a question everyone had voiced in the last hour at least once.

“I don’t know, but I think that’s the last of them- for now. Sir.” Gaila held up what looked like a cannibalized tricorder. “I used this to find you, it’s… well, it’s most of my tricorder and comm unit, and I can scan the area for life forms. It was reading a crazy amount of Klingons for a while, but now I’m not getting anything but us.”

“That’s good, but what if they can fool it like they did the ship’s scanners? We should have been alerted to life-forms on the planet, or even another ship coming in. The Klingons don’t have cloaking technology, unless they’ve started trading with the Romulans. Can that thing find Spock and the captain?”

“And Chekov,” Sulu added, looking at Gaila from where Bones was tearing pieces of Jim’s red shirt to make a bandage for his leg- the wound had started to bleed again. Gaila was about to answer, when the look on Bones’ face stopped Jim cold. He held up a hand, stalling whatever the cadet was going to say.

“Bones. You were with Spock’s team. Where is he?”

“I’m sorry Jim.” The doctor looked away.

Jim turned his friend to face him, that knot of fear rising to squeeze his heart. “Bones. Where is Spock?”

“Captured by the Klingons. I’m sorry sir, it was my fault. If I hadn’t-” Sulu spoke, looking down at his hands.

“There was nothing either of us could do, and you know it,” Bones cut him off. “The kid was down with shots to the shoulder and leg. We were trying to get to you, to go for evac, I think, but the Klingons were too fast. I don’t know why they didn’t get us too, though. I was carrying the cadet here, I didn’t see-“

“I did.” Sulu was still looking at his hands. “They shot Spock. In the leg, I think. He fell. Pavel and the captain stopped to help him, and the Klingons surrounded them. If I’d had my phaser…”

“You wouldn’t have been able to fire it, or if you could have you would have risked hitting one of our people. You shouldn’t be using that arm for anything until I can get you up to a med bay.” The last was said with a glare at the phaser, clutched in Sulu’s non-injured hand. “Shouldn’t be standing either. Their weapons are nasty, Jim,” Bones looked away, finishing Sulu’s bandage. “I’ve never seen weapons that cause this much damage to such a concentrated area. It burned right through his shoulder, I can see the bone.”

Jim dimly registered the rest of the conversation, his mind stuck on ‘they shot Spock,’ hearing Sulu repeat the phrase over and over in his head. Uhura touched him on the shoulder, dark eyes worried, and… disconnect.

 

Spock woke up in a dark room. He could hear ragged breathing to his left, and something moving on his right. He was laid out on some sort of table, hands and feet tied together with coarse rope. His leg was burning with pain- he forced himself to ignore it. It was unimportant. What was important was learning about his location- and how to escape.

Spock opened his eyes. The ceiling above his head was rough and grey, scattered with stalactites. A cave, not a space ship. Why would Klingons hide in a cave, instead of taking him back to their ship? Unless Jim had managed to destroy the ship somehow. But if his dreams had been true, Jim had only just escaped the Klingons, defeating more of the warriors than Spock could have thought possible. The current facts did not fit what he knew of Klingons. They didn’t have cloaking technology. They never came this far into Federation space, preferring to keep closer to the borders and colonies. And they were rarely seen in the numbers Jim and the cadets had defeated. This planet also had no obvious strategic or economic value, unless their scans had missed something.

A new sound of movement reached Spock’s ears. Soft footsteps, coming closer. Four feet, treading lightly. From his right came a soft hissing sound.

“Ssssisterrrr,” a rasping voice said, “Welllcome baack.” A growl answered it. Spock turned his head. The creature stood next to the prone form of Captain Pike. It was grey, like the rock of the cave, and seemed to be constantly shifting. One moment it looked Klingon, the next it was Romulan, or Human. The only thing that stayed the same was the height- far taller than any sentient being Spock had ever encountered, perhaps nine feet or so. It stooped because it was too tall for the cave, its shoulders brushing the ceiling even so.

“Thisss one willlll nnnot yiellld. Itt’sss minddd isss sssstrrrrong.” The creature put a grey hand on the Captain’s head. “Iiii cannnnnottt make ittt adddmit fearrrr.”

The newcomer growled again, moving into Spock’s line of sight. It was feline in shape, one of the local fauna they had noticed upon arrival. Jim had commented that they looked quite a bit like a long-extinct earth animal called a Smilodon, more commonly known as a Saber-Toothed Tiger. The big feline turned to look at Spock with strangely intelligent eyes.

“Ah, thattt one. Ittt wasss nottt therrre beforrre. It’sss mindddd wenttt awayyy.” The grey creature shuffled towards Spock. The feline roared, and it stopped. The two creatures stared at each other for what seemed a long time, though it was only 40.02 seconds. At last, the grey one made a sort of bow. “Asss youuu ssssayyyy, Waaatcherrrr.” The feline turned and padded away.

The grey creature reached out one impossibly long arm and touched a fingertip to Spock’s forehead. “Whaaattt dddooo youuu fearrr?” it asked. Spock lost consciousness.

 

This time, Spock was aware that he was dreaming. He surfaced in the back of Jim’s mind, watching his friend commanding the cadets as they searched for Spock, Chekov, and the captain. He could feel Jim’s fear, an ever-present buzz under his thoughts. Shoved far away from his conscious mind, a part of Jim was muttering ‘they shot Spock’ over and over again. Spock wanted to reach out to him, but found a block between them.

As he examined it, he discovered what had happened- a link had been forming between them, a bond of sorts. But while their minds were joined, it had never been a conscious choice, nor had they ever melded. It was as if their minds were barely touching, the barest beginning of something that could be much more profound. A part of Spock exalted at the discovery. This sort of mental compatibility was unheard of between a human and a Vulcan. Many would have said it could not be. But now, Spock knew differently. T’hy’la.

Jim’s mind felt Spock’s joy, even through the fledgling bond. The human frowned, confused. Spock immediately clamped down on the feeling- no need to confuse his friend. Jim had far more important things to worry about at the moment- things like the large cat-like creature stalking towards them.

“Is that that _cat_?” Sulu asked, and Spock and Jim noted that he gripped his phaser tighter. “The one that was sniffing around us when we arrived?”

“Sure looks it,” Cupcake agreed. Spock/Jim saw him shift between Sulu and the cat, and approved.

“Wasn’t it smaller?” Gaila asked.

“Yeah,” Jim nodded, “And it wasn’t growling at us before.”

A gasp from behind him made Jim whirl. Uhura was pointing her phaser at the tree-line, where several grey shadows moved. One, at least a foot taller than the one in the cave with Spock, moved closer. Behind it, several others shifted, melting into the forms of half a dozen species hostile to members of the Federation.

“Who are you?” Jim demanded, and though Spock could feel his fear and confusion, none of it showed in his voice.

“Wwe aarrre,” the leader said, stopping five feet from where Jim stood. A glace behind showed the cat had stopped as well.

“You are what?” Jim wanted to know.

“Wwe _aarrre_ ,” it said again. “Wwe havve nnno nnname. Thissss pplannnettt is _ourrrrs_.”

“I’m sorry,” Jim told it. “We didn’t know anyone lived here.”

The cat roared.

“Mmmyyy ssssissssttterrr sssayyysss tthatt yyou ddonn’ttt ccarre tto knnnow. Yyyourr kkinnnd onnlly ccarre tto knnnoww howww ttto _dessstroyy_.”

“Destroy? No, we haven’t destroyed anything, we’ve only been here for-“ the cat’s roar cut Jim off, loud and fierce and _angry_.

“Yyyou _lie_ ,” the grey creature exclaimed. “Yyyou mmayy nnottt havvve hhurrtt ussss hherrrre, bbutt yyourr kkinnnd kkilled mmannnyyy offff uss.” The cat roared again, and the grey creatures attacked. They continued to shift forms, now Klingon, now Romulan, now a hundred other species. They were lightly armed and armored, but they had far superior numbers. Spock watched in horror through Jim’s eyes as the Starfleet officers were overtaken.

Jim fought, they all did, but in the end, it wasn’t enough. Something hit Jim on the head, and the world blinked out. He was unconscious by the time he hit the ground.

 

Darkness enveloped Jim’s mind. Spock rode with him, unwilling to return to his own body before he knew Jim was safe. He could feel phantom pain- Jim’s pain- over sixty percent of his body. Jim was barely conscious, the only thoughts Spock could discern being a vague anxiety over David and Spock himself. Something lifted him, and a burning hand pressed onto his forehead. Suddenly, everything was pain. Something was invading, burning through his mind. Jim screamed, mind throwing out every defense he had. Spock scrambled to do the same, fortifying Jim’s mind with his own, putting up barriers, protecting the core of Jim’s very being with a wall of mental energy stronger even than his own mental shields.

Whatever was forcing its way into Jim’s mind _screamed_ at them, and another hand pressed down on Jim’s head. The pain doubled, tripled, expanding in waves through Jim’s mind. Spock felt his defenses crumble, Jim’s were blown away like dust in the wind. Jim was writhing in agony, but his mind found Spock, recognized him, reached for him, and was blocked. A cloud of pain swelled around them, pushing them apart. The force screamed again, and Spock was thrown out, mind speeding back to his own body, and … disconnect.

 

The next time Spock woke, he was alone. The tables on either side of him were empty, but a worrying blood stain was left on the stone where the captain had been lying. He couldn’t hear anyone around, and that worried him even more. Why had they taken the others and left him? What had they done with the captain? More importantly- what had they done with Jim? Rather than give in to worry, Spock devoted his mental energy to finding a way to escape. Jim had to be alive. There was no other option.

After 15.6 minutes, Spock finally heard movement- someone approaching. He looked up from where he had been testing his bonds, and there, standing in the entrance to the cave, was Jim. The human was wounded, blood running from a cut on his head, makeshift bandages wrapped around his arm and torso. He was armed, though, with one of the strange weapons the grey creatures had wielded. And he was alive. Whatever that pain had been, it hadn’t killed him. Spock couldn’t deny the relief that coursed through him at that sight.

“Jim,” Spock called to him. “Jim!”

Jim’s head turned, and his eyes locked on Spock. But there was no recognition there.

“Jim!” Spock tried again, reaching for the new-formed link- but he found nothing. There was a void where Jim’s mind should have been, a sort of dark grey emptiness that blocked Spock from finding his friend.

“Spock.” Jim’s voice was dead, no inflection, no intonation, no life. “This one knows you. He is your weakness. He can find out what you fear.” Jim’s body stepped forward, and lowered his weapon.

“Who are you?” Spock asked, stalling for time, mind racing to find a way out of this. The creatures had taken Jim over, somehow invading his mind and blocking Spock from reaching him. They were going to force him to torture Spock, for some unknown reason. Spock was tied to the table, and even if he wasn’t, he couldn’t leave Jim.

“I am the Watcher,” came Jim’s dead voice, and Spock suppressed a shudder. Jim’s voice was always as lively as the rest of him, dancing with laughter, dripping with sarcasm, full of suppressed anger, or love. But now, his voice and eyes were flat, emotionless. It was the worst thing Spock had ever seen. “I have watched you and others like you for many years. Your people know only war and death. We have watched you for a long time, hidden in the minds of your explorers. Where you go, destruction follows.”

“We do not cause the destruction,” Spock protested. “Our mission is one of peace. We are explorers, scientists.”

“You killed many of my people today,” the creature said, and made a strange sort of jerking motion, as if it wanted to bring the sharp point of the weapon to Spock’s throat, and then thought better of it.

“We were attacked. We defended ourselves.”

“You came to our home. It is inevitable, destruction would follow you to us.”

“That is not certain. Once we had learned this planet was inhabited, we would have withdrawn our science expedition and opened diplomatic relations with your people. If you were evaluated as not a threat to the peace of the Federation, you would have been left alone or offered entrance into it.”

The creature snarled, an inhuman sound coming from Jim’s mouth. It pulled the weapon back and thrust it forward, stopping mere inches from Spock’s unprotected chest. Jim’s hands jerked, as if he were fighting with himself. With rising hope, Spock thought maybe that was true. Jim’s grip slipped, and the sharp point cut a gash over Spock’s heart. Jim froze.

“Jim,” Spock called, hoping his friend was still in there to hear. The creature growled again, Jim’s hands slowly driving the point of the weapon deeper. “Jim, I know you can hear me,” Spock said, calling with his voice and the new bond, shoving all of his mind power at the grey void in Jim’s mind, trying to push it aside. “Jim. Fight.”

“The harder he fights, the quicker you will die,” the creature growled, Jim’s voice the only thing that seemed to obey it completely.

“I will not.” If Spock believed in anything, he believed in Jim. “Jim will not hurt me.” The pain in his chest was great, but the weapon had stopped pressing deeper for the moment.

“Why… he… oh!” Jim’s eyes closed and he shook his head. The weapon pulled back, leaving a trail of green blood.

“Come on, Jim,” Spock reached harder, pushing his mind into the grey void.

“Spock,” Jim gasped, his voice choked. “I- oh, aaaa-RAH!” He screamed, collapsing to his knees. At the same moment, the grey void vanished and Jim’s mind snapped into place beside Spock’s. “Fuck,” he whispered, and Spock felt relief flowing from him.

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, I love to hear from you! <3


	18. The Watcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Jim find out who has been attacking them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated with TWO chapters today, so if you haven't read chapter 17 yet, please go back and read it first. I promise, this chapter will make no sense if you haven't read it. 
> 
> If you have already read chapter 17, please, read on! I hope you enjoy the story!

They weren’t sure how long they sat in silence together, before Jim pushed himself erect and began undoing Spock’s restraints. “What the hell are these things?” he asked Spock as he picked up the weapon to slice through the bonds.

“I do not know. They seem to be shape shifters of some sort, and have proven to have some sort of mind-control technology, however-“

“It’s not-“ Jim cut him off. “It’s not mind-control tech. It’s here,” he tapped his skull. “It’s still here. In my mind. It’s… it was riding that cat before. It’s like, some sort of symbiosis, I think. I can feel it, trapped behind my thoughts. I…” Jim frowned, then looked at Spock with an expression Spock hadn’t seen before. “I can feel you too. You’re in my head, aren’t you?”

“Jim,” Spock didn’t know how to explain the bond, or t’hy’la, or how he hadn’t done it on purpose.

“No, it’s cool, I like it. You can tell me what it means later. Right now, we have to get out of here.” Jim flashed him that supernova smile, and sent a pulse of love down the bond.

Spock sat up and stared at him. “Jim!”

“I know, six more months, but you’re kinda in my mind already, so that’s just useless. But, again, we can talk about that later. First we have to get home.” Jim cut the last rope tying Spock to the table. “Actually, scratch that. First priority, getting this _thing_ out of my head.”

“We should move somewhere safe before that, in case more of those creatures come. Do you think you can make it?”

Jim considered, tilting his head to the side. At last, he nodded. “I think so. I’ve got it trapped in my memories. But let’s not take any chances.”

The first likely place they found to hide was a small cave a few feet down from the one Spock had been held in. It was set back in the rock and turned to the side so those inside wouldn’t be seen from the hall. It was just big enough for the two of them, if they didn’t move much.

“We’re pretty deep underground,” Jim whispered. “When it walked me in, it took ages.”

“I had assumed as much.” Spock settled in, sitting cross-legged on the ground, Jim curled up next to him with his head in Spock’s lap. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. Let’s get this thing out of me.”

Spock pressed his fingers to Jim’s meld points and sunk into his mind. The bond between them strengthened at the contact, binding them tighter together. Spock was tempted to just explore Jim’s mind, to lose himself in the sunlight-gold of his thoughts. _Later_ , said Jim’s voice, _when we’re safe. I’ve got some exploring I’d like to do too._ The thought was accompanied by a flash of Jim’s wicked grin. Spock sent an image of a raised eyebrow in return, and felt Jim’s laughter flow through him.

_Focus_ , Jim said, and Spock did. They found the creature- a grey miasma, walled into a corner by Jim’s strongest memories. As he passed them, Spock couldn’t help but touch some of them: David’s birth, David’s first words, meeting a drunk man on a plane- Dr. McCoy, meeting Spock, David and Spock sitting together in his apartment, David’s first steps, celebrating Christmas, playing chess with Spock.

The creature backed away as Spock approached, letting go of the memory it had been examining- the dinner where Spock, Jim, David, and Dr. McCoy had celebrated Jim’s promotion. It folded in on itself, trying to make itself small, avoid being seen. It gave off a feeling of horror and regret. Something in Jim’s memory had calmed it. Spock reached out, touched it, and entered its mind.

 

_She watches from the shadows as they arrive, these human-creatures. She has seen their kind before, but always in the far and away. Now they come to her home-place, her ‘planet’. The others, they won’t worry, afraid to be afraid. But she is the traveler, The Watcher, and she knows the value of fear. They will let her decide, welcome the earth creatures, or give warning to all who come after? She remembers the Other Half, lost to fire that came from their hands, and thinks she won’t need to watch long. Human-creatures kill, human-creatures destroy. She will not let human-creatures kill and destroy here. They will take nothing else from her._

Wait _, the memory of the Other Half echoes in her mind._ Watch. They are not like the others _. And so she waits, and she watches._

_The leader is strong, like gravity. Patient, calm, deadly when defied. He has the human-creatures’ respect. When they land, they gather around him. The Watcher can see their energy, excited, nervous, and filled with purpose. He speaks with them in their sound-language, she watches the splashes of color his words make in her sight. It is a sight the others of her kind would find fascinating. They would want to study this man’s words. The Watcher turns her gaze to the other creatures gathered around the gravity-man._

_The first is a woman, fire-bright and full of life-energy. She is not a human-creature, and yet is treated as an equal. Her kind The Watcher has seen before, the Orion-creatures. She had thought the human-creatures were not fond of those kinds of creatures._

_The second is a man-creature, an explosion, bright but unstable. She does not like him. He has no boundaries to his energy, he will die if the leader does not keep him tight within the group. He has made a mistake to trust this one, she thinks._

_Third, a boy-child, fast and sure like water. He is young, but his light is brighter than most. This group is all people with brighter lights, but still his stands out. The Watcher knows he will go far, and he will take a companion along with him._

_The companion is swift and strong, the wind that rushes along the river- making waves and bearing sailors on their travels. His energy reaches for the sky, but has roots among things of the earth, and there is a warrior’s spirit within him._

_She sees another warrior in the group, a man like a large rock- stubborn and solid. There is more to this one, but it is hidden beneath layers of defenses. He is a protector, that she can see, but sometimes his instincts make him stupid. He has much to learn, if he survives._

_Beside the rock-man, there is a woman like moonlight. There is music to her soul, and The Watcher finds the colors of her words the most beautiful. She thinks this one can be fierce and bright, but sometimes soft and gentle. The moonlight-woman sees more than most, and The Watcher knows then to be careful of her._

_Another man-creature says something, drawing the attention of the others to him. He pretends to be ill-tempered, but he has the heart of a healer. He has been hurt badly by life, and The Watcher finds something of herself in his spirit. Old wounds that have taken too long to close, carving away at the soul. This healer-man would spend his life giving succor to the rest of the universe, but never be able to heal himself. But unlike The Watcher, who has no other to heal those poisoned and gangrenous wounds, the healer has a new family in the two men standing beside him- brothers of his heart._

_There is another who is not a human-creature. The Watcher is surprised, this one is of the planet the creature calls Vulcan. The Vulcan-creatures do not follow human-creatures often, but this one has given all of himself to the man-creature beside him. He is like the stars, silver and bright, curious, constant, a guiding light. Inside him, she sees conflict, he is two things at once, and The Watcher has never seen anything like him. On his own, he would be fascinating to study, but he is caught in the orbit of another man, a binary star orbiting another for eternity. As a pair, they might reach a bond as strong as The Watcher had had with her Other Half._

_The other half to the starlight one is the sun. Perhaps the brightest light in the group, he is burning with power, ever-changing and yet staying, at the core, the same. Volatile eruptions of energy are barely contained within him, untamed and wild he could have burnt himself out with those flares. He has been tamed somewhat, she sees, by the starlight-man and the healer, but also by responsibility. Something has grounded him, held him together for the Vulcan-creature to come and finish the job, something he would give his life for in the blink of an eye. She cannot see much further into him, though she looks harder than she had at any of the others. Scars litter the surface of his soul, closed ancient wounds that have left their mark on him forever. His defenses have defenses, but he has been letting them down slowly. Letting them down for his starlight other._

_The Watcher wants to know more about him. She creeps forward, ordering the feline whose mind she rides to circle the newcomers. The wind-man sees her, nudges the water-child. Water-child grins, lowering himself to the ground and holding out a hand. She creeps forward, wondering what the human-creatures will do. They fascinate her, she has never seen any like this small gathering. Such a diverse group, it is what They had always hoped to find, she cannot wait to tell The Other- She stops. The Other is gone. Human-creatures killed him as he rode behind the mind of one of their own._

_The water-child is too close now. He will kill her like they killed The Other. Her feline snarls, and she runs. She stops after reaching the trees, and turns to watch. The sun-man has his arm over the water-child, and they laugh. They don’t chase her. Instead, they split into groups. These groups inspect her home-place, sometimes cutting small pieces of plants, gathering bits of soil and water and air. They do not destroy, they do not kill. They are still fascinating._

_But their kind killed her Other Half. The Other Half, who would have loved to see these creatures, who taught her to be a Watcher in the beginning of things, the one who would have given her the warm-summer feeling and told her to test them if she still wasn’t sure._

_There was an idea. A test. If they failed, she would kill them. If they passed… if they passed, then perhaps her Other Half’s dream might not yet be so lost as she had feared. She would go get The Walkers. The Walkers could take the form of that which the human-creatures feared. If these creatures would brave their worst fears to find their loved ones, maybe they were worth their life-energy after all._

 

Spock withdrew, looking at the Watcher as she sat inside Jim’s mind.

_Humans killed your ‘Other Half’ by mistake_ , Jim said, and Spock could feel his frown. _So you thought all humans were dangerous._

The Watcher resolved her form into something almost-human, grey mist contained within a human shape. She watched Spock and Jim for a moment, before nodding. Shame and sorrow emanated from her in waves.

_He was all I ever had,_ she said. _We were sent from our world to see what was beyond. We found only death._

_I’m sorry_ , Jim said, his mental presence projecting comfort and compassion. _But we aren’t all killers_.

_So I have seen_ , the Watcher told them, gesturing to Jim’s memories that still surrounded her. She projected a memory at them- a recent one.

_Fighting. She is fighting in his mind-space. The sun-man is too strong. He should have been weak. All human-creatures were weak against her power. But he fights. She has to work to keep control of him. She walks him to the down-below, to where the Walkers keep his fellow creatures. She tells the Reader to leave, to take the gravity-man and the water-child. She wants to see what the Vulcan-creature will do when faced with his partner hurting him. But his mind isn’t there, he’s followed a link that she cannot find. So she goes to the next room, where the gravity-man spits at her and demands she release his ‘Jim’. She thinks Jim is the name of the sun-man._

_The gravity-man gets tired. She has his fears, she will use them to test him soon. She ignores the others. The Readers will take care of them. She returns to the room of the Vulcan-creature. He is awake. He calls to the sun-man, and the sun-man’s mind responds, battering at the walls she built around him. He tries to cry out, to warn the starlight-man, but he cannot move his own mouth. The starlight-man knows she isn’t his other anyway. He looks at her with sad, determined eyes, and asks her who she is._

_She tells him. He claims to be on a mission of peace._ Yes! Peace! We did not hurt you! _The sun-man screams at her. She tries to cut the Vulcan-creature, but somehow her hands will not obey. The starlight-man tells her they would have left her planet in peace. She does not believe him. He speaks lies. Human-creatures mean death, like the death of her Other. She tries to bring the weapon down, to slice into his heart. The sun-man stops her, fights her. She has to use all her will to push the weapon into the Vulcan-creature’s skin. The sight of blood enrages him. He flings himself at her walls. She fights. The starlight-man can see the struggle. Somehow he knows she’s there. Somehow he is there too, pushing against her barriers, trying to get into the sun-man’s mind._

Fight _, he tells him, and the sun-man does. He screams, shattering her walls. Suddenly, he is free. He corners her, instinct taking over where he does not know what to do. He walls her in, not with mental energy, but with memories. He buries her beneath them. She cannot look away. The memories are washed in love. She sees a woman with golden hair, the doctor-man from before, the Vulcan-creature, and a small boy with the sun-man’s blue-sky eyes. Each memory shows only love, hope, joy. Where she looks for destruction, she sees only creation. This man is building a future for the boy, his child. He wants to build a future with the starlight-man. She has seen the core of him, when she took over his mind. She should have known then, but she admits to herself that she did not want to know- he is a good man. And she has done him wrong, invaded his mind, hurt his people, planned to keep him from returning to his child, forced his body to hurt the man he loves._

Do you see, now? _The Other’s memory asks her,_ Do you know why you were wrong? _She’s not sure, but she thinks so. She is glad the Other is not here. She would not have wanted to see the shame and disappointment in him when he saw what she had done._

  _You are what The Other and I hoped to find. If we had but searched further, perhaps all this could have been averted._ Spock sensed grief coming from the creature- grief over the hurts she had caused. _You did not deserve our test. We have done what we wished to stop you from doing. We inflicted needless harm on those who had done us no wrong._

_It was a misunderstanding,_ Jim told her. Spock was surprised. He would have expected Jim to hold a grudge for what they’d done. Jim felt his surprise, and laughed. _If they’d killed you, Spock, I probably would have done the same thing._

_Jim_ , Spock protested, not sure how he felt about that.

_It’s the truth, Spock. Though, I am still angry she used me to hurt you._ Jim’s anger was all around them suddenly. The Watcher shrank in on herself, projecting guilt.

_I am sorry. I sought to use your bond to break you. I should not have._

Jim’s anger dissipated. _Good. Don’t do that again._

_What should we do_? The Watcher asked, looking from Jim to Spock.

_Well, for starters, you could get out of my mind. And return our friends._ Jim sent her a picture of the rest of the team, and the Watcher nodded, then hesitated.

_What is it_? Jim asked.

_I have no right to ask this of you, but… your bond. It is what I had with my Other. I wish to feel that love once again._ She projected a sort of wary hope at them.

_No_. Jim’s mental rejection was firm. _Maybe you can find something like it again for yourself, but what we have is ours alone._

_I agree_ , Spock told her, and she deflated. _Our bond is our own, feeling it will not bring your Other back._

_I see,_ she said, _thank you_. Then she melted from their minds.

 

Spock opened his eyes to see three of the grey creatures, the ‘Walkers’ leaning over him. The Watcher flowed from Jim’s eyes in a form of grey mist, settling back into the cat-creature one of the Walkers held. Jim coughed, and sat up.

“That was… odd. Let’s not do that again, ok?”

“Agreed.” Spock stared at the Watcher. “Now, take us to our companions.”

 

Back aboard the ship, the medical bay fussed over the away team like mothers with recalcitrant children. Dr. McCoy refused to let anyone else treat Jim, running his tricorder over his friend while another doctor patched up his own injuries. The cadets were grouped together, strangely exuberant, considering all that had happened.

“Don’t go thinking all away missions are like this,” Jim called over to them.

“Aye, Commander,” Cadet Chekov called back, nodded.

“Sometimes we just sit around while the science team does the fun stuff,” Captain Pike added. “And sometimes, we end up running for our lives anyway.”

“Goddamn idiots, the lot of you,” Dr. McCoy groused. “I don’t know why I put up with it.”

“Aw, Bones,” Jim laughed, poking his friend. “You know you love it.” He looked over at Spock, and grinned. “Isn’t that right, Spock?”

“I fail to see any other reasonable explanation for Dr. McCoy’s continued presence in Starfleet,” Spock said, and was rewarded by a pulse of laughter flowing down their bond.

_I think he’s going to explode if we push him any further_ , Jim sent along the bond. Spock nodded.

“Okay, that was spooky,” the doctor said, looking between Jim and Spock. “You sure that ‘Watcher’ or whatever she was didn’t do anything to your brain while she was in there?”

“Nope.” Jim just smiled at his friend. “Not a thing.”

“So… you know what, I don’t wanna know.” Dr. McCoy shook his head, pulling his tricorder away and looking at the readings.

“Probably your safest bet, Doctor,” Captain Pike told him. “I get the feeling it’s something these two need to talk about on their own.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, folks! Check back in two weeks for more of David.
> 
> (Shameless self-promotion...: If any of you are fans of Captain America, specifically Cap/Bucky, feel free to check out the project that kicked my writer's block after I got sick. The first actual chapter in the series should be going up sometime tomorrow.)


	19. Of Hearts and Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Jim talk. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this chapter and then the next story arc are all pure fluff and sweetness. It might rot your teeth.
> 
> There are three major story arcs left in David. The plan is to take it through the end of the first movie, but if people are interested I might do a David-verse version of the second movie as well. There's also a few additional one-shots and bonus chapters that will be going up over the next few months. (It's so nice to have my groove back!)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

“So…” Jim turned to Spock with a small smile on his lips, the door to his quarters sliding closed behind them. “Now that we’re all patched up. Wanna tell me what’s up with you in my head?”

“Jim, I-” Spock was at a loss to explain. Where to start?

Jim pulled him to the table, where he had a chess set laid out. Spock sat behind the black pieces, as was his custom. “Start at the beginning. How did this happen?” Jim opened the game with a bold move. Surprisingly, even bonded as they were Spock could not read what he was planning to do next.

“It appears that a spontaneous bond has been forming between us since the time of our meeting. I had not realized, or I would have employed efforts to stop its creation. I would surmise that all of the time spent in close proximity, combined with an unprecedented level of mental compatibility, has attuned our minds to one another.” Spock picked up one of his own pawns, considering his choices. He could have Jim’s queen in four or five moves, unless Jim countered with his singularly unique style.

“So… it’s an accident?” Jim leaned forward, looking Spock in the eyes. Spock could feel his mind probing his, looking for emotion- how he felt about the bond. Unwilling to repeat the past six months, Spock opened up his barriers just a little and let Jim in. A slow grin spread across Jim’s face as he felt Spock’s wonder and joy.

“I would not categorize it as such. While I do not believe in such a thing as ‘destiny,’ it is clear that on some level we are to be together. There is an ancient belief among my people concerning what you might call shield-mates, men with high mental compatibility who partnered each other in battle and fought as one. The term used to describe these men is _t’hy’la_. Roughly translated it means friend. I believe I have spoken of this type of bond with you before.” Spock put down the pawn. Jim quickly snatched up a knight and made his move.

“I remember. And I don’t think that’s all it means,” he said, smile going sly. Spock could feel his laughter flowing down the bond like liquid sunlight.

Spock inclined his head. “You are correct. It also means brother.”

“And…?” more laughter. It was a most intoxicating feeling.

“The term can also be translated as ‘lover’, or some combination of the three. One who is at once a friend, a brother, and a lover. It is the most intimate term one can use to refer to another.” Spock felt Jim’s surprise at his words, quickly followed by a bright, burning joy that showed in his eyes.

“Lover, huh? Some way to get around our time limit, huh?”

Spock frowned at him. “Jim, if you will recall, you were the one who set that limitation. I accepted because I did not wish to cause you undue stress or pain, especially after the events leading up to that conversation.”

“Eh. It made sense at the time. You kinda… freak out when it comes to emotion. I know your people aren’t that big on expressing stuff, but keeping it bottled up like that just isn’t healthy.” Spock opened his mouth to protest, but Jim continued speaking. “So, all that aside, I’ve got a question. We’re _t’hy’la_?”

The word rolled off Jim’s tongue, sending a shiver up Spock’s spine. He inclined his head, picking up a chess piece to disguise his nervousness. He’d felt Jim’s pleasure in the bond, but… “I believe so. I can account for no other reason why we would have become so linked without melding. However, if you do not want-”

“Spock,” Jim reached over and took the queen from his hand. “I want. More than you know. Fortunately, we can fix that.” He leaned over the board, heedless of the pieces scattering under him, and placed his hands on Spock’s meld points. “Like this, right?”

Spock felt himself turning green, the blush heating his face as Jim made one of the most intimate gestures of Vulcan society. His body also responded in other ways, thankfully hidden beneath the table.

“While that is generally correct, in our case the use of meld points is not necessary,” Spock explained, attempting to control his physical responses to Jim’s proximity. It had never been a problem before, but then, there had not been an open bond between them before. Jim had not been blatantly broadcasting desire before.

“Ok. Let’s do it then. Show me what this bond is all about.”

“Perhaps we could move to a more comfortable position?” Spock suggested. Jim pulled back and considered, then nodded.

“Guess that means the bed then.” He winked suggestively. “I finally get you in my bed, Spock.”

“It seems so,” Spock told him. And Jim laughed. More golden sunlight flowing down their bond. Spock could get addicted to that feeling.

“Any particular way you want me?” Jim asked. Spock raised an eyebrow.

“I believe we can find a position that is mutually satisfactory.”

Jim froze, then started giggling. “Oh gods, Spock, that was _awesome_. I love the way you talk.” Before Spock could get offended, Jim sent a pulse of amusement and love down the bond, showing Spock what his words had sounded like to Jim. The whole was accompanied by a feeling of intense fondness.

They settled on the bed in a position similar to the one they had taken for the meld in the cave, Spock sitting with Jim’s head in his lap. He couldn’t resist placing one hand in Jim’s hair, marveling at the softness of it to his sensitive fingers.

“So? What are we waiting for?” Jim asked, reaching up to tangle his fingers with Spock’s. He pressed with his mind, instinctively finding Spock’s barriers and leaning against them. Spock put his free hand against Jim’s meld points, and dropped his barriers. In an instant, they were together in Spock’s mind.

_Wow_ , Jim’s voice echoed in Spock’s mind. The Watcher had been right to label him the sun-man, everything about him was sunlight. _I’m in your brain. And you…_ He paused, and Spock could sense him tasting Spock’s emotions. _You love me. You really do love me._ It broke Spock’s heart a little, the astonishment that accompanied that thought.

_I do,_ Spock told him, and released his restraint on that particular emotion. He gathered up everything he felt for and about Jim, and projected it. Jim was astounded, overwhelmed. Spock knew in that instant that he had never truly believed anyone could love him this completely.

_You are my **t’hy’la** ,_ Spock said. In his mind, the word embodied the whole meaning within his culture.

_I am,_ Jim told him. _And I… I love you._ Spock got the sense that that was the first time Jim had said those words to anyone other than his son in a very long time.  And then, Jim opened up at let Spock just _feel_ everything he was feeling. It was a tidal wave, a solar flare. Astonishment, surprise, ‘this-can’t-really-be-my-life’, overwhelmed by the purest love and joy Spock had ever known. He knew then that Jim, when he loved someone, loved with his whole being.

The feedback loop between them grew, their love twining together, amplified by the bond. Spock had a moment of utter certainty, that this was _right,_ and Jim was _his_ in the same way that _he_ was Jim’s. And in that instant, a shining gold-and-silver thread appeared before them, wrapping in and around the two separate entities of Spock and Jim.

_This is the bond you were talking about?_ Jim asked, examining it. He extended a tendril of thought out to touch it, and suddenly they weren’t two separate entities at all. Spock _was_ Jim, and Jim was Spock. Surprise flooded through them, neither sure which one originated it. They broke apart.

“Holy fuck!” Jim sat up in bed and stared at Spock. “Did you know we could do that?”

“I did not. It was surprising, however it was not all together an unpleasant sensation.”

“No,” Jim shook his head, thoughtful. “No, it wasn’t. I’m not sure how I _would_ describe it, but it wasn’t bad. Just… strange. Really, really strange. Let’s try it again.”

The second meld was easier, Spock slipped into Jim’s mind like it was made for him. The thread was there, winding throughout Jim’s consciousness. Spock examined his own mind and found it similarly linked. This time, Jim did not touch it. Instead, he examined it, following it through his mind. Though they both looked, they could find no beginning, and no end.

_It is both like and unlike a Vulcan marriage bond_ , Spock observed, and felt Jim’s curiosity.

_How would you know?_ Jim asked.

_I have shared a meld with my parents_ , Spock told him. _Also, I was betrothed when I was a child. The bond my betrothed and I shared was not a full marriage bond, but close enough that I understand them._

_Betrothed?!_ Spock felt a pang of betrayal from Jim. _How come you never told me that?_

_I did not deem it relevant._ He hastened to reassure Jim, _T’Pring and I parted ways shortly before I came to Starfleet. As the betrothal is now dissolved, it had no bearing on any relationship I choose to engage in._

Jim wasn’t convinced. _That stuff’s kind of important for people to know, Spock. Not just… friends, too._ Spock felt guilty then, as if he had been keeping a secret from Jim, which had not been his intention. 

_I apologize, Jim. I rarely ever think of it, and did not realize it would be important to you. It was not a match I desired, but one of political and financial benefit to both families. It was arranged by our parents, and dissolved when it became clear we were not compatible._ That memory was… painful.

_Oh, Spock_ , Jim broadcast sympathy, picking up on his distress. _What happened?_

It was easier to show Jim, there in their shared mindscape. T’Pring’s cruel taunts when they were children. The spiteful little thoughts she would send him through their bond. The shame she felt (and let him feel) for being bonded to a half-human. Her infatuation with Stonn. Spock walking in on them together, in bed. Her demand before the council that their betrothal be broken, his calm acceptance of it.

_Wow. Ok. She’s a bitch,_ Jim said, and Spock knew he was forgiven. They floated in the meld for a time, just feeling the other’s presence. And then Jim broadcast the feeling of a grin. _So, marriage bond?_ he asked.

Spock sent an affirmative. _It is not a true marriage bond, which is put in place through intervention of others, but what the marriage bond is meant to be. A spontaneous linking of our **katra** s. _

**_Katra_** _?_ Jim asked. _Oh. Like a soul,_ he said, taking the information from Spock’s surface thoughts. His words were tinged with wonder and no small amount of joy.

_Indeed_. Spock moved his consciousness closer to the bond, noting that the silver and gold threads were inextricably intertwined.

_Want to see if that thing happens again_? Jim asked, meaning the two-becoming-one sensation from the last time he had touched the bond. Spock gave the mental equivalent of a nod and reached out.

They were one. Wholly and completely. Spock’s mind was Jim’s mind, Jim’s thoughts his thoughts. They flicked through memories like favorite stories, tasting what it was like to simply _be them_. Later, when they separated again, Spock would know that Jim loved the color green because of Spock’s blush, and Jim would know that Spock had developed a preference for the taste of his macaroni-and-cheese. But at that moment, there was no Spock or Jim. There was only Spock-and-Jim.

The bond glowed and changed, thickening around them, binding them tighter together. More memories played between them, creating a complete _knowing_. Their childhood on Vulcan, growing up half-human and taunted. Their childhood in Iowa, brilliant but bored, breaking the laws because they could. Starfleet, finally a place for them to fit in, not expected to be human or Vulcan, but simply Spock. Starfleet, the answer to their prayers, the steady income and support to raise a son on their own. Their mothers, loving in their own ways. Their Vulcan father, stiff and stern. Their human father, a memory and a ghost. Leaving, going out into space. Living in a colony, watching people's worried faces as-

Jim snapped them out of the bond. Spock gasped at the sudden lack of contact, mind reaching for Jim’s.

“Sorry Spock. There’s just… some things you shouldn’t have to see.” Jim looked away, turning his face in to press against Spock’s shirt.

“No, Jim, there is no need to be sorry. I can show you how to shield your mind, ways to keep your thoughts private.” Spock understood secrets, things you didn’t ever want to share with another, even (or perhaps especially) the ones you loved the most. Jim would tell him what it was in his own time, when he was ready.

“Show me?” Jim asked, covering Spock’s hands- still on his face- with his own.

 

Some indeterminate length of time later, they were floating together in Spock’s mind- not one entity, but simply enjoying each other’s presence- when a knock on the door announced a visitor. Jim broadcast annoyance, loath to move from where he had been examining Spock’s memories of Vulcan school. Spock, too, felt irritation at the interruption. They had been exploring their new bond, testing the limits of it. It was remarkable in that it was unremarkable. Being linked together mentally did not change how they interacted, it simply enhanced it. It was as if they had always known they were in love.

The door swished open, revealing Doctor McCoy. “Jim, I swear to god, if you-” He broke off, looking at Jim and Spock on the bed. With effort, Spock shifted their awareness to the physical. For a moment, he looked out of two sets of eyes. And then the meld ended, and he was simply Spock again. But he could still feel Jim in the back of his mind. It was… comforting.

“I, uh. You know what? I’ll come back later,” the doctor said, hastily retreating from the room. Jim dissolved into laughter. And Spock? Spock was quite certainly getting addicted to that feeling.

“Gods, his _face_!” Jim laughed. “Oh man. We are _so_ going to be hearing about that later.”

Spock looked down at Jim, whose laughter trailed off until he was just lying there, looking up at Spock. “You know what? I’m going to kiss you now,” Jim told him. Then, with the speed Spock had seen him use only in combat situations, he sat up and took Spock’s face in his hands, pressing their lips together.

Spock was still for a moment, then he _felt_ what to do from Jim’s mind. His lips parted, and Jim’s tongue swept in. It was his first kiss, and he finally understood why it was an enjoyable activity. He reached up, twining his fingers with Jim’s in a way that would be considered extremely obscene by Vulcan standards. Jim squeezed his hand, and there, right there, without his genitals ever being touched, Spock came.

What happened after that was a blur of bodies and clothes and pleasure. They learned each other in the most intimate of ways, ways that Spock had never even dreamed of before. Jim was an experienced lover, a thought that made Spock burn with jealousy, but Jim just laughed and showed him the advantages of loving someone who knew what they were doing. The bond, consummated, flared in their minds, a bright silver-gold cable of pure love. 


	20. Say Yes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim asks Spock to marry him, with Davey's help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little late, I was at another site running a camp for some students, and the internet connection was nonexistent.
> 
> Another chapter from Davey's POV. Fair warning, the sweetness might rot your teeth!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please enjoy!!

Davey Kirk watched his Daddy and his Spock take off in the shuttle, and fought back tears. He was a big boy now, and big boys don’t cry. Beside him, T’rila gently bumped her shoulder against his. “They will return, David,” she told him. He nodded and sniffed. “Come.” She took his arm in her hands and pulled him to where her parents stood by their car.

“Are you in need of nourishment?” T’rila’s daddy asked Davey, who nodded.

“Yeah. I mean, yes sir. Can we eat lunch in the spaceport?” The spaceport cafeteria was cool, it had food from all over the Federation.

“I believe that was what _A’nirih_ intended,” T’rila said. Her parents started walking, ushering the children on before them.

“Ah-niri, that’s the word you said means Daddy, right?” Davey asked, remembering a lesson T’rila had given him in Vulcan.

“ _A’nirih_ ,” T’rila corrected, showing him how to pronounce it slowly. “It means Father.”

“ _A’nirih_ ,” Davey tried the word again, and was rewarded by a slight nod and a small almost-smile from T’rila. “Do you think Spock would let me call him that, if he marries my Daddy?”

“It is probable, unless your father has some objection to you referring to another as ‘father’,” T’rila said.

Davey shook his head. “No, Daddy is _Daddy_. It’s not the same.”

“Please enlighten me. I had assumed the term ‘daddy’ and the term ‘father’ held the same meaning.” The Vulcan girl frowned at Davey, trying to understand.

“It’s like this,” Davey told her, “Daddy is my father, but I only call him Daddy. I don’t know my mommy, but I guess I would call her Mommy. If Daddy marries Spock, I’ll have two fathers- Daddy and Spock. But Spock won’t ever be Daddy, and Daddy won’t ever be Spock. So I call Daddy, Daddy, and Spock, _A’nirih_.”

“I see. Both terms mean ‘father,’ but you use them as specific forms of address for two separate individuals. You would never call Spock Daddy, nor would you refer to any being but Spock as _A’nirih_.”

“I am curious,” T’rila’s mother said, looking down at Davey. “Do you believe that your father will engage in a permanent romantic relationship with Commander Spock?”

Davey took a second to translate that into normal-people words. Sometimes he had to do it with Spock too, but Spock was always careful to use words Davey could understand quickly. Then he nodded.

“Daddy loves Spock, and Spock loves Daddy. Daddy said so after the mean man attacked us. But Daddy doesn’t want Spock to talk about it for a long time because Spock was afraid to love Daddy, and Daddy’s scared Spock won’t let himself love him. Not that Daddy told me that bit, but Uncle Bones said it when he called Daddy an idiot last week.”

“Does Doctor McCoy support their relationship?” T’rila asked. Davey nodded again.

“He says they’re both bein’ idiots and Daddy should just kiss Spock and get it over with. He also says Spock’s a… a ‘green-blooded hobby-goblin’ but he’s good for Daddy.”

“Fascinating,” T’rila said.

“Indeed,” her mother agreed. Her father just looked at Davey the way Spock sometimes did, when he was thinking about something he had said.

 

The week that followed was one of the best of Davey’s life. T’rila and her parents taught Davey to cook Vulcan food, understand more Vulcan culture, and speak the Vulcan language. T’rila took to calling him _Kaisu_ , a term that she said was not exactly accurate, since it meant someone with one of the same parents, but she felt it fit all the same. Davey really liked that. It felt like he really had a sister.

One night, T’rila gave him a book of Vulcan fairy-tales. She called it a book of ‘educational and cautionary narratives, but it amounted to the same thing. It was all in Vulcan, so he needed her help to read it, but she promised to teach him the letters, and Davey thought maybe Spock would help too.

Davey showed them about Human culture too. He cooked Macaroni-and-Cheese on Friday, and showed T’rila’s mother how to make cookies. He’d wanted to show them chocolate-chip, but T’rila wasn’t allowed chocolate, which was dumb. So Davey made sugar cookies instead. T’rila said they were too sweet, but he thought maybe she actually did like them. He promised himself to sneak her a chocolate-chip cookie, the next time Daddy sent one in his lunch.

 

Daddy called Davey when the ship started for home, and T’rila’s parents took him to the space-dock to meet them. He waited anxiously, bouncing up and down on his toes.

“Moving like that will not make the ship come faster,” T’rila told him. “It will only make you tired faster.”

“But I want them to come _now_!” Davey protested, straining to look out the window.

“What kind of starship is that?” his friend asked, trying to distract him.

“Constitution class. That one is too,” he pointed to one just coming in. “That’s what Daddy’s ship is gonna be, once it’s done.”

“And that one?” she pointed to another ship.

“Constellation. Hey, that could be the one Daddy is on!”

It turned out that Davey was right. The ship docked in the bay his Daddy was supposed to come in to, and soon enough the passengers were getting off. Grandpa Chris came off first, followed by some of the men and women Daddy was going to work with on his new ship. Then came Uncle Bones, shouting over his shoulder to someone to hurry up.

“I’m coming, Bones!” Daddy yelled back, and Davey ran past Grandpa Chris and Uncle Bones to meet Daddy as he came out of the airlock. “Whoa, hey there kiddo,” Daddy said, kneeling down just in time for Davy to slam into him.

“Daddy! Daddy, you’re back!” Davey yelled.

“Sure am, baby. Were you good while I was gone?”

“Yep! ‘Rila let me cook on Friday, an’ we played chess and talked Vulcan and ate Vulcan food, and Mr. Irving taught us how to fix a computer when Orianna’s broke.”

Daddy laughed. “That sounds like fun. Spock and I missed you.”

Davey grinned and kissed Daddy on the cheek. “I missed you, too! And Spock!” He turned to grin at Spock, who had also crouched down beside Daddy. He inclined his head, and Davey could see the smile in his eyes.

“Were T’rila’s parents adequate caretakers?” Spock asked him.

Davey nodded. “Yeah, they were great! But they don’t let ‘Rila have chocolate, like, _ever_.”

“When I was her age, I too was forbidden chocolate,” Spock said.

“Really? That sucks,” Daddy told Spock, then laughed. Spock lifted an eyebrow. Davey frowned. They looked like they’d been speaking, but they hadn’t said anything. It was silly.

They did it again when T’rila’s parents came over, and Spock picked Davey up while Daddy made the Vulcan hand-sign for them. Then Daddy spoke slowly in Vulcan, looking to Spock every so often to see if he got it right. Spock nodded every time.

“He is thanking them for taking care of you,” he told Davey, when Davey asked. T’rila was looking between Daddy and Spock like she was thinking.

“What?” he asked her, and she did the thing where her eyebrows got closer together that was her frown.

“I do not know,” she said. Davey shrugged. If she figured it out, whatever it was, she would tell him.

At last, Daddy turned back to Davey and Spock. “Ready to go home?” he asked, and Davey nodded.

“Yeah! I miss my bed.”

“I will see you at school tomorrow.” T’rila stood next to Spock and Davey, and made the Vulcan hand-sign. Davey copied it.

“ _Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow_ ,” Davey said in Vulcan. Spock lifted an eyebrow, and T’rila gave her not-smile and a small nod. Davey beamed, that meant he’d done good! “ _Thank you for taking care of me_ ,” he then told T’rila’s parents, who also didn’t smile.

“You are welcome. It was a fascinating experience to have you in our home, David,” T’rila’s mom said. Her dad nodded. Davey had come to realize that he didn’t talk much, unless it was necessary.

 

Daddy and Spock did the talking-without-words thing a lot in the car ride home. Davey sat in Daddy’s lap as Uncle Bones drove, and watched as Uncle Bones kept looking at Daddy and Spock with a smile on his face. Something good had happened, Davey was sure of it. Maybe something that had pushed them into a, as T’rila would say, ‘romantic relationship’.

That thought was all but confirmed when they got home. It was late, past dinner, but when Spock made to walk home, Daddy grabbed his hand. “Stay,” was all he said, but Spock nodded. Then he looked at Davey, and Daddy grinned.

“He’s a smart kid, I’m sure he’s figured it out,” Daddy said, “but sure.” He knelt down in front of Davey and looked him in the eyes. “Hey, baby, I’ve got something to tell you about me and Spock.”

“Oh, here we go,” Uncle Bones groaned, rolling his eyes and heading for the kitchen. Spock stood behind Daddy, watching Davey carefully. Davey bounced on his feet, excited.

“Are you and Spock gonna love each other now?” he asked.

Daddy nodded. “Yeah, we are, kiddo. Is that alright with you?”

“Duh!” Davey gave Daddy his biggest smile. “Is Spock gonna live with us again?”

Daddy looked at Spock. “Well, that’s up to him. There’s room, but if he wants to keep his own apartment…”

“It is more efficient for me to reside here,” Spock said, which Davey translated to mean ‘of course I’ll live with you.’ Daddy gave Spock the sappy smile he’d never let Spock see before.

“Good. But Daddy, you gotta share your room. I shared all week with T’rila.”

Daddy laughed, and even Spock had a small smile on his face. “Sure, Davey. Spock and me will share.”

“Spock and _I_ ,” Davey corrected, but nodded, satisfied.

“What is this world coming to, when my own kid corrects my grammar?” Daddy asked. Uncle Bones snorted, coming to stand in the door from the kitchen.

“Well, to be fair, your grammar _does_ suck,” he told Daddy. Daddy made a face, and everyone laughed. Davey felt like things couldn’t get any more prefect.

 

A few days later, Davey was sitting with Daddy watching TV. Spock and Uncle Bones were both out at work, but Daddy had the day off. He was stretched out on the couch, feet on the arm rest. Davey sat on the floor with his toy starships. He was starting a five year mission with his toy _Enterprise_ , when a thought occurred to him.

“Daddy, how did you ask Spock to marry you?” he asked.

“Hmm?” Daddy turned his head to look at Davey. “I didn’t.”

“You didn’t ask Spock to marry you?” Davy was _appalled_ \- that word meant really upset. T’rila had taught it to him.

“No… we’re just… together.”

“But you have the mind link thingy like T’rila’s parents,” Davey insisted. Daddy hadn’t _said_ that, but he was five, not stupid!

“Yeah. It just sort of happened, on that mission. I told you about the alien that thought I was bad and tried to take over my mind. Spock got her out, and we found the bond.”

“But that means you’re _married_. But you didn’t ask Spock. Did he ask you?” Davey didn’t like that. If nobody had asked, then it wasn’t correct. They needed to do it right.

“No, kiddo. Nobody asked anybody. We’re together, but-” Daddy started to say something, but Davey cut him off.

“You’re Vulcan-married, Daddy. You need to do it right and be human-married too! I want Spock to be my _A’nirih_. But he can’t be unless you marry him right.”

“We’ve only just started dating,” Daddy said. Davey stood up and glared at him.

“That doesn’t matter, Daddy! You love him. He loves you. Don’t you wanna be with him forever? Don’t you want Spock to be our family?”

“I…” Daddy frowned. “I sure do, Davey. I guess… huh. You really think I should ask him to marry me?”

“Yep!” Davey nodded. “We should go buy a ring. You need to give him a ring, like the one Grandpa gave Grandma.” He grabbed Daddy’s hand and started tugging him to the door.

“What, right now?” Daddy laughed, but went along.

“Yeah! ‘Cause Spock’s not here to see. It has to be a surprise!”

 

An hour later, they were at a jewelry store in the city. The pretty one Davey saw sometimes when they drove in to go to the museum or the park.

“Can I help you?” a lady asked them, the minute they stepped in the door.

“Um…” Daddy looked nervous. “I need to get a, um,”

“An en-gage-ment ring,” Davey told the lady, saying the word carefully. “For Spock. He and Daddy are gonna get married.”

“I see,” the lady said, and smiled at him. “What kind of ring would you like, sir?”

“I… it needs to be something simple. He doesn’t really wear jewelry,” Daddy said, looking at the case of diamond rings on display up front. “And… one for me too. Something we can wear on duty. Maybe… white-gold or silver?”

“White-gold for Spock, gold for Daddy,” Davey said. “Daddy needs a ring like the one Grandpa used to wear.”

“He means a simple gold band,” Daddy told the lady. “My Dad had one passed down in his family, but he was wearing it when he died, so we don’t have it any more.”

“I see,” the lady looked from Davey to Daddy. “If you have a picture, perhaps we can re-create it.”

“That’s not necessary,” Daddy told her. “It really was just a gold band. I’d like to pick something out myself, if that’s alright. My brother’s the one that would have gotten Dad’s ring anyway, if he ever gets married.”

“Alright then,” the lady led them past cases of fancy girl jewelry, right to the back where there was a display of men rings. “Please take your time. I can bring any of them out for you to look at, sir…?”

“Kirk. Jim Kirk. And this is my son, David. He’s the one that wanted us to come here.”

“Well, thank you for choosing our store, David,” the lady said, bending down to look Davey in the eyes. He nodded and smiled at her.

“The rings outside are always so pretty. I hope you have something for Daddy!”

“I’m sure they do, kiddo.” Daddy was bent over the case, staring at the rings. “Can I see that one?” he pointed to one that was just plain white.

“And that one!” Davey pointed to the one next to it, which was the same, except for the two little diamonds shaped like stars in the sides.

“And that one,” Daddy agreed. The lady brought them both from behind the case. Davey and Daddy looked at them, and a few others, before Daddy turned to Davey. They had six lined up in front of them, which they both liked.

“Which one do you think we should get, Davey?” Daddy asked.

“That one!” Davey pointed to the one he had first seen. It was prefect for Spock, simple but pretty, and the stars seemed just right.

“And for me?” Daddy indicated a few plain gold bands the lady had shown them.

“Umm…” Davey chewed his lip. He didn’t really like any of them. They all looked the same. “Don’t you have anything else?” he asked the lady.

“Not in plain gold,” she said, “but perhaps…” She disappeared into the room behind the counter, coming back a few minutes later with a small box in her hands. “This was made for another customer, but he recently returned it. As far as I know, it’s the only one with this design.” She opened the box. The ring was gold, with a band of silver inside it. The silver band had etchings in it, a pattern Davey didn’t recognize.

“It looks kind of like the warp trail of a starship,” Daddy said, picking the ring up and holding it close to his face to look at it. “Yeah, it does. It’s the same as the readout patterns from the helm when a ship passes by another ship in warp.” He held it down to show Davey, who just saw a lot of faint squiggly lines. But it was nice. It looked like something Daddy would wear.

“Yeah. That one.” He touched it, feeling the grooves in the metal. “I like it.”

“Then I think we have our rings,” Daddy told the lady. Davey didn’t pay attention while Daddy paid for them, wandering around the store and looking at all the pretty shiny things instead. Then Daddy came up to him with a small bag. “Want to get some ice cream?” he asked, and Davey nodded.

While they ate the ice cream, Daddy was silent. Then he smiled at Davey. “So, how do you think I should ask Spock to marry me?”

“You gotta do it ro- uh, romantic. So you can’t just ask him tonight when he gets home. You have’ta plan it.”

“Okay. What do you think I should do, then, mister?”

Davey thought about it for a minute. “You should take Spock out to dinner, then go for a walk in the park by the big ship statue. Then you gotta get down on one knee and ask him.”

 

It took Daddy a week to make all the plans properly. Davey insisted on helping. He wanted to be there when Daddy asked Spock to marry him. When Spock said yes, Davey was going to ask him if he could call him _A’nirih_.

They went to dinner at an expensive restaurant. Davey didn’t like the food, but Daddy and Spock said it was good. Davey would have liked chicken fingers better, but their usual restaurants weren’t nice enough for what Davey wanted. This one, Davey had to promise to be very quiet and good just for Daddy to let him come. It was fancy, and Grandpa Chris said a lot of officers went there for special occasions. Davey made Daddy wear a suit, and Spock wore his dress uniform. Davey had hoped Daddy would wear his uniform too, but he said it felt weird. Davey would make sure he wore it for the wedding, though.

After dinner, they went to the park. Davey grabbed Daddy’s hand, and led him to the right place. He would have held Spock’s hand too, but he didn’t want Spock to see what Daddy was planning. Daddy had promised to keep it a surprise.

At the statue, Daddy paused. It was dusk, and the sun was making the sky a really pretty purple and pink. The lights on the statue were already on, lighting Daddy’s face just prefect. “So, Spock, I, um. I know we’re already together and all, but-”

“Daddy!” Davey interrupted him. He wasn’t on one knee like he was supposed to be! Davey pushed at his leg, reminding him.

“Oh, right. Thanks, Davey.” Daddy was blushing. “Well, the thing is,” he knelt down like he was supposed to. Davey held the ring boxes in his pocket, ready to pull them out. “I-”

“Daddy!”

“Right, Davey and I have something we want to ask you.”

Davey watched Spock’s face. He was watching Daddy, but he was not-smiling in the way he did that said he loved Daddy.

“What is it, Jim?” Spock asked, and Davey really liked the way he said Daddy’s name.

“We, I, want you to know how much I love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I want to be with you forever. And I know the bond kind of means that already, but, well, I want…” He paused, and Davey knew he was scared. It was silly. Spock wasn’t going to say no. So Davey handed him the boxes.

Daddy grinned at Davey and flipped open the one with Spock’s ring. “Spock. Will you marry me?” Davey and Daddy both held their breath as Spock looked at the ring. And then he gave Daddy an actual, real smile, and took the ring from the box.

“Yes, Jim. I will marry you.”

Daddy’s smile was amazing. He stood up, taking Spock’s ring in his hands. “I know you don’t do rings much, because of your hands and all, but I thought, maybe you could wear it around your neck. I bought a chain…”

“Here, Daddy,” Davey pulled the chain from his pocket. He’d been disappointed to learn that Spock probably wouldn’t wear the ring on his finger, but he supposed around his neck was good enough.

“Thank you, Jim. And you, David. I shall treasure it.” Daddy slid Spock’s ring onto the chain, and Spock put it around his neck.

“Now you gotta put Daddy’s ring on him!” Davey insisted, pointing to the other box Daddy was holding.

Spock picked it up, and opened it. “Jim, these rings are both beautiful,” he said, taking it out.

“Davey helped me pick them out,” Daddy told him, and Davey grinned.

“Your son has good taste,” Spock took Daddy’s hand and slid the ring onto his finger.

“Our son,” Daddy corrected. “You’re marrying me, remember? That means you get him, too.”

“Our son,” Spock agreed, and Davey about burst with happiness.

“Spock,” Davey tugged on his sleeve, reminding them both that he was there. For a moment, they’d seemed lost in themselves, just standing there smiling at each other.

“Yes, David?” Spock crouched down to look at him.

“Can I call you _A’nirih_?”

“Where did you learn that word?” Spock asked him. “Do you know what it means?”

“It means father. T’rila taught me. Can I?” Davey widened his eyes, hoping Spock would say yes.

“I believe that would be an appropriate term of address,” Spock said, and Davey couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He threw himself into Spock’s arms.

“Yay! I can call Spock _A’nirih_ , andSpock and Daddy are gonna get married!” It was the best day in the _history_ of ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story arc starts in two weeks! What will Jim do when faced with meeting Spock's parents? We'll find out!


	21. Meet the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock takes Spock home to meet his parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter? This frikking chapter? I apologize in advance, because it's terrible. I want to throw it out the window. But after two weeks of staring at the darn thing and TRYING to make it better... this is the best I've got. If I didn't depend on my computer for pretty much everything keeping me sane at the moment, I would be tempted to defenestrate the darn thing. 
> 
> The photo going viral thing did inspire a side-story though. It will be up when the CAtWS feels let me go and allow me to write more than just Steve/Bucky fic.

In the hours between Jim’s proposal and their return to duty the next morning, news of their engagement circulated across the academy campus. At least four hundred and thirty two officers (Jim distracted Spock somewhere around the fiftieth, and he lost count) and most of their students stopped by Spock or Jim’s office to offer congratulations. Spock was puzzled by the rapidity with which the knowledge had spread, especially since they had only informed Doctor McCoy after returning from the park. It was not like the doctor to share information on Jim’s private life, and so Spock was at a loss to explain it until Jim appeared at his office for lunch and handed him a PADD with a picture of them together from the night before.

 It would seem that there had been another Starfleet officer in the park that night, a young ensign who had seen them together. He had taken a holo of them just as Jim brought out the rings, catching an image that included the three of them- Jim, Spock, and David. He had put the image online when he returned home after his walk, and from there it had “gone viral.” When he realized what he’d done- and whose proposal he had taken a picture of, he gave the holo to Spock and Jim, blushing and stammering his apologies for “crashing their moment.” While Spock was still trying to decode what that meant, Jim smiled at the boy and thanked him. The next time Spock went into Jim’s office, he saw the holo on his desk, right next to a picture of David with Winona, Spock, and Doctor McCoy.

The academy hailed the ensign that had taken it as a sort of hero, the man that let them in on the “romance of the century.” Jim gleefully reported all the latest gossip about them, and the picture, and their wedding. There was such wonder and joy in his mind when he realized how many people actually cared about them that Spock couldn’t find it in himself to regret the attention. He did, however, make a point of keeping some time for just him and Jim. Jim seemed to be making a similar effort. Sometimes, over the course of a day, he would feel Jim’s mind reaching for his, a warm thought flowing across the bond with a small comment or observation. Little things, things Spock normally wouldn’t have noticed, things Jim wanted to share, or just a quick brush of awareness and a pulse of love. It was an entirely new sensation, but he found it very pleasing.

Finally, when most of the campus had congratulated either him or Jim, and things had settled down again, Spock found time to call his mother. Amanda answered quickly, as if she had been waiting for the call (though that was a ridiculous notion- she would have no way of knowing Spock was going to be calling her at that particular time.)

“Spock,” she greeted him with a warm smile. “I’m glad you called. How are you?”

“I am well, Mother. As is Jim, and David.”

Her smile widened, and her eyes acquired a mischievous glint. “Is that a smile on your face, Spock?” she asked. “Is your control slipping?”

“I assure you, Mother, my control is as good as it has always been.” Spock refused to rise to the bait in her teasing. “If you are seeing things that are not there, perhaps you should consult a doctor.”

Amanda laughed. “Maybe. But I’m pretty sure I saw a smile.”

“Mother!” Spock protested, though there was a chance that she wasn’t wrong. He had often struggled against an irrational impulse to smile, since bonding with Jim. Perhaps it was Jim’s easy nature influencing Spock, or perhaps it was simply his own happiness effecting his control. Whatever it was, he found he did not mind.

“Ok, ok. No smile, then.” She leaned in to the screen, examining the image on her end. “But you do look happier. What’s happened, Spock?”

Spock took a deep breath. This was the first time he would be informing anyone about his bonding and engagement. He had let Jim handle the telling for everyone else, but he had deliberately called his mother while Jim was otherwise occupied. “I have been granted leave to come to Vulcan in two months. Jim and David have agreed to accompany me.”

“Any particular reason for this sudden urge to visit?” Amanda asked, expression saying she could guess, but wanted him to say it.

“I-” It was surprisingly difficult to keep a reign on his emotions. He felt too much, all of it good, about their bonding, and some of it inevitably broke through onto his face. Spock took a breath and started over. “Jim and I were on a mission together that resulted in an alien entity taking over Jim’s mind. He was able to regain control over his body, and I assisted in removing the entity. During the procedure, we discovered a bond had been forming between us. That bond has since deepened, and Jim has asked me to marry him. I wish to return with him to Vulcan to introduce him as my betrothed and formally acknowledge our bonding, as well as begin proceedings for a legal adoption of David as my son.”

Amanda was silent for a moment following his announcement before a broad smile broke across her face. “Oh Spock, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you! Please tell Jim I said ‘Congratulations’, and I can’t wait to meet him.”

The conversation with his father that followed the call with his mother was much more difficult. Amanda called Sarek into the room when Spock was about to sign off, telling him that “Spock has something to tell you.” She stayed at Sarek’s shoulder, nodding encouragingly at Spock, but it was clear she wasn’t going to take pity on him and tell him herself.

“Father.” The word came out more bitter than he had intended. It was the first time he had seen his father, even over a vid-screen, since the day he left for Starfleet.

“Spock,” Sarek acknowledge, no emotion present in his tone or his face. In the back of his mind, Spock felt Jim react to his anxiety, warm pulses of love flowing down the bond as his mate inquired about what was wrong.

_It is nothing, Jim. I am simply informing my father of our bonding_ , Spock told him, and felt a flow of indignation from Jim.

_And you didn’t tell me?! Hang on, I’m coming home. You’re not doing that alone._

Spock felt Jim disengage, intent clear in his mind. The thought that Jim would be with him soon was comforting, and it have him more strength of mind to face his father. The exchange had taken only a few seconds, but Sarek was already looking impatient.

“You had something you wished to tell me, Spock?” he asked.

“Yes Father. I have spoken to Mother already about a trip I plan to take to Vulcan in two months’ time. I will be bringing James Kirk and his son David with me.”

Amanda covered her mouth with her hand, but Spock could tell from her eyes she was hiding a grin. “Jim and David are the two I was telling you about, the ones Spock has been spending time with for a while now,” she said. Sarek raised an eyebrow.

“Is there a reason for this visit?” he asked, and Spock felt ten years old again, waiting for his father’s disapproval.

“Yes. I wish to present Jim as my bondmate, and begin the process to have David Kirk recognized as my adopted son.”

“I see.” Sarek’s face was, as always, unreadable.

“I understand that there will be repercussions from my choice, and that Jim and David will face many of the same hardships Mother has gone through as your wife. I also understand that you will not approve of this decision, and am prepared to find my own accommodations for our time on Vulcan, should you not wish us in your house. We will remain only long enough to satisfy the formalities before returning to duty, and will not impose upon you any more than necessary.” Spock felt himself sliding into what Jim referred to as his “Vulcan mask,” a state where he sublimated all emotion and allowed only a shred of personality to show in his face. In the background, he heard Jim’s key slide into the lock of their apartment.

“Spock,” Sarek began to speak and then stopped. For the first time in his life, Spock saw his father at a loss for words. If it had been any other, Spock would have believed he appeared saddened.

“Spock!” Jim’s voice called from the ‘living room,’ interrupting Sarek’s second attempt at speaking.

“In here, Jim,” Spock called from their bedroom. His personal computer now occupied the corner that was ‘his’ work station, moved from his old apartment with all his other things when he gave up the lease.

With a clatter of dropped bags, Jim spilled into the room, tossing his briefcase onto their bed. He quickly crossed to stand behind Spock, wrapping his arms around Spock’s shoulders and extending his fingers for a kiss.

_Don’t want to shock your parents_ , he said through their bond when he felt Spock’s surprise that he didn’t try for his usual human kiss. Spock sent a pulse of humor to him and extended his own fingers. On the comm, his mother made a strangled noise he’d only heard her make before in the presence of small baby animals. Her smile was unabashedly wide.

“Mother, Father, this is my bondmate, Commander James Kirk. Jim, may I introduce my mother, Amanda Grayson, and my father, Sarek.”

Jim raised his hand from Spock’s kiss to make an approximation of the Vulcan salute. “It’s my pleasure to meet you sir, ma’am,” he said, voice giving no indication he was at all worried, though Spock could feel his anxiety as it mirrored his own.

“It’s good to meet you too, Jim,” Amanda told him, giving him a salute of her own. “And I look forward to seeing you in person when my son finally brings you home. I feel as if I already know you, Spock has talked about you so much.”

“I hope at least some of it was good,” Jim said with a cheeky grin. “And I look forward to meeting you too.”

“I’m sure you will live up to your legend,” Amanda winked at Spock. “And I can’t wait to meet my new grandson. I hope you and David will be comfortable in our home. I know how difficult it can be, to be a Terran on Vulcan.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine, ma’am. I’ve been in quite a few strange places over the years, and Davey is nothing if not adaptable. I appreciate your letting us come.”

“Please, call me Amanda,” Spock’s mother said. “And we’re happy to have you, aren’t we, Sarek?” She looked at Spock’s father then, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Of course. I anticipate meeting you in two months’ time.” Try as he might, Spock could detect no irony in his father’s tone, and, as he had so often told Jim, Vulcans did not lie. Spock had no choice but to believe his father actually meant what he said. It was… surprising.

“Well, Father, I am certain you are busy, and it will soon be time for Jim and I to go retrieve David from school. I will forward Mother our travel plans as soon as we have booked our shuttle.” Spock decided it was time to end this, before either he or his father said something they would regret.

“Of course. I offer my congratulations to you both, and anticipate your arrival.” Sarek inclined his head. Amanda waved, preforming a gesture she called “blowing a kiss” to them, before Sarek closed the signal.

“Well, that wasn’t too bad,” Jim said, when Spock had shut down the computer. “I get why you were worried though, your dad is kinda scary.”

Spock frowned at Jim. “While my father is, indeed, intimidating, I would not refer to him as ‘scary.’”

“I do,” Jim grinned to show he was joking. “But, seriously, that didn’t go bad at all. I think this visit will be ok. And I think Davey is going to _love_ your mom.”

Spock nodded. He had also reached a similar conclusion.

 

The shuttle trip to Vulcan was relatively uneventful. Being Starfleet personnel, they were able to, as Jim called it, ‘hitch a ride’ on a starship being sent on a mission in that general direction. When their course and that of the ship separated, they were dropped off at a small station to await a passenger shuttle. From there, it was a mere three hours via the relatively slow craft before they touched down on Vulcan.

A welcoming party was there to greet them. Spock’s parents, accompanied by T’Pau and several other distinguished elders from Spock’s clan.  The Vulcans met them with courteous words and evaluating eyes, but Amanda rushed forward as soon as she saw them step off the shuttle.

“Spock!” She embraced her son, a liberty she insisted she was allowed to take after so many years apart from her offspring. Then she turned to Jim, and Spock caught a note of worry from his mate, though he hid it behind one of his most charming smiles.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Jim said, but was cut off from saying more as Amanda drew him into a tight hug.

“No, no, like I said before, call me Amanda. You’re part of our family now, Jim.” Then she turned abruptly from Jim, leaving him bemused, and knelt down in front of David. “And you must be Davey. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m your grandma Amanda.”

David looked up at her with wide eyes, then he smiled and threw himself forward for a hug with a loud “Hello, Gramma ‘Manda!” Spock did not miss the delight in his mother’s eyes as she looked at him over David’s head.

“Spock.” Spock turned to see his father standing before him.

“Father.” He did not know what else to say. Thankfully, Jim was beside him, and entered the conversation.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” Jim held up a hand in greeting, a greeting that Sarek returned. “I mean, uh, we met before, on the computer, but, it’s, ah, nice to meet you in person.” Jim was uncharacteristically awkward, and Spock could sense the nervousness that had abated somewhat with Amanda’s warm reception return in full force.

“Of course. You must tell me how you came to meet my son. I have been told that the tale of your meeting and bonding is a fascinating one.”

“Really?” Jim looked to Spock, who couldn’t help but lift the corners of his mouth in a small smile at Jim’s surprise.

“I believe my mother may have embellished upon the events as I relayed them to her. However, it is an uncommon story,” he said, and Jim laughed.

“Sure. Uncommon. That’s the word. Uh,” he turned back to Sarek. “Sorry, sir. Of course, I would be happy to tell you how we met. It’s probably more boring than you’re thinking though.”

Before either Spock or Jim could feel any more awkward, Amanda came over with David and herded them all towards their car. Spock was grateful to her, a feeling that only increased as she took over conversation in the car, using her singularly unique presence to put them all at ease. Seeing the two of them together, Spock was struck by the disquieting thought that Jim and his mother were actually very much alike.

At the house, Amanda directed Spock and Jim to Spock’s old room- now equipped with a bed big enough to fit two adults, and takes David off to another room she’d set up all for him. Spock heard David’s voice fading down the hall, talking about T’rila and her family, and his mother replying exactly where David liked to have people talk when he tells a story, and allowed himself to feel very fortunate to have _this_ family. Even though he was still apprehensive about spending nearly two weeks in his father’s house.

“God, Spock,” Jim toppled over onto the bed, covering his face with one arm. “When you said Vulcan was hot, I didn’t realize just how hot you meant. I want to _die_. It’s lucky Bones gave me those anti-heat-exhaustion hypos before we left, or we’d be in big trouble.”

“Your body will adjust, Jim,” Spock said, sitting down on the bed with more decorum than his lover.

“Not in two weeks, it won’t. Spock. Why’d your people have to pick a fucking sauna for a planet?”

“If you recall your basic xenohistory lessons, Jim, you will no doubt remember that we did not _pick_ the planet. We _evolved_ on this planet, the same way humans did on earth.”

“Right,” Jim waved a hand in the air, as if waving off Spock’s logic. “Which is why I’ve been sleeping with a _living furnace_ for the past couple of months.” He lifted the arm off his eyes to grin suggestively at Spock. “When I tell you you’re hot, Spock, I mean it literally _and_ figuratively.”

“I will endeavor to recall that information, the next time you feel the need to inform me of my body temperature or general state of attractiveness,” Spock said, and felt Jim’s laughter flow across the bond. He treasured the feeling, knowing that there might be few chances for him to feel it in the coming days.

“Spock. Commander Kirk.” Sarek stood in the doorway to the bedroom, watching them both with a look Spock identified as curiosity. “I trust you find the accommodations adequate?

“Yes sir,” Jim sat up, attempting to straighten his rumpled clothing. “It’s really great. Thanks for letting us stay in your house.”

“It is no hardship,” Sarek said, surprising Spock. “As you are the bondmate of my son, I believe my wife informed you that you are to consider yourself family. As such, this is also your home.”

“I- thank you, sir.” Jim obviously did not feel as confused as Spock was by his father’s words. “I’m honored.”

“And we are privileged to welcome you,” Sarek told Jim. Then he turned to Spock. “I came to inform you that T’Pau and the Council of Elders will see you tomorrow, to hear your petition to recognize your bonding. T’Pau also wishes to extend her congratulations, and has invited us to join her for dinner following the council meeting.”

“Thank you, Father.” Spock felt a surge of anxiety, T’Pau was the most important member of his extended family. While she could not deny a bond that had already been formed, if she so chose she could make life exceedingly difficult for Spock and Jim.

Sarek nodded. “I would also like to speak with you privately, Spock. However, I am certain you are both fatigued from your travels. I will see you both in the morning.” He withdrew from the room as suddenly as he had appeared.

“Huh. Ok.” Jim looked like he had something else to say, but was stopped by a rather large yawn. “I guess I am tired,” he said when it had passed. “How about we go give Davey his bedtime story and get some sleep? I get the feeling tomorrow is going to be a big day.”

Spock felt his own fatigue overcoming him as well and readily agreed to Jim’s plan. It was strange how traveling could cause such exhaustion, when all the work was done by someone else. He had expected to sleep uneasily, perhaps because of his worry over the events of the coming days, or anticipation of a difficult conversation with his father, but that proved not to be the case. Once they were both in bed, Jim wrapping himself around Spock like a living blanket despite the heat, Spock fell into a deep sleep that was only broken by the morning light filtering in through the windows.


End file.
